Feelings

"Feelings? I lost those unnecessary things a long time ago." Yue Ying swirled the wine glass elegantly, staring at it with a bored expression on his face as he replied to me.

I curiously stared as he lifted the wine glass to take a sip from it, his face revealing an intoxicated expression the moment he swallowed the liquid inside. It was a strange expression, given that the look in his eyes didn't change even when his facial expressions did.

Well, I did write him into existence as a person bored of life, so it would make sense for everything to be dull and grey from his point of view.

His bangs covered one of his eyes slightly as he finished the wine in the glass, placing it down on the circular table we were meeting at. As he did, he finally lifted his eyes to glance at me, showing off his trademark troublemaker smirk that I had lovingly written into existence when I first created him.

The long white shirt that he was wearing hung loosely onto his bone thin frame, showing off a much more painful past then his smile did.

Even as he smirked his red eyes looked apathetic to me, as if already bored of this meeting. I couldn't say anything seeing his expression, all sorts of complicated emotions overwhelming me. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry, sorry for creating him and giving him such a hard time.

I couldn't. I wasn't worthy of forgiveness. Plus, the word 'sorry' has never done anything for the hurt party, only serving to give the person saying the word some sort of consolation that they weren't as bad as they thought they were.

Clearing my throat, I spoke again.

"Well, why have you… lost your feelings?" A stupid question, honestly. But it was on the list of questions I had to ask him in order to get out of this equally stupid mission, so I could only grit my teeth and say it. Deep down, I hated this just as much as he did.

He laughed gently as I asked that question, snapping his fingers. The wine glass was instantly filled up again by the floating bottle, the red liquid sparkling under the warm sunlight.

Picking up the glass, he swirled the liquid inside again.

"Wouldn't, no, shouldn't you know the answer to that question better then me? Author-san—" Some liquid spilled out as he said that, staining the pure white tablecloth red. However, he ignored the spillage, taking another sip of the wine.

He was right. I was the one who created him, so technically I should know him the best out of everyone I knew. My first creation, the carrier of my hopes and dreams. It would make sense for me to know everything about him.

Yet, as I look at him now, why do I get the feeling that I never truly knew him?

Similar to a planted tree, even though I had taken care of him throughout the ages, he had grown taller and taller, till he grew out of my control and became his own entity. I became a passenger to his growth instead of the leader, helplessly watching as he forged his own path.

I grabbed my own glass of wine, gulping it down quickly. It burned through my system, allowing me to reorganise my scattered thoughts.

"Still, I would like you to answer." The liquid burned in my lungs. I coughed a few times, struggling. Wine had never been my best liquor, perhaps because I've never really liked grapes.

…if it wasn't obvious, I don't understand wine.

He sighed exaggeratedly, refilling his glass for the second time. I watched as he gulped down the liquid effortlessly, admiring his ability to drink.

"Well, it can't be helped. After all, you're also just a character." He stares at me, words filled with a strange sense of pity. He and I knew very well that we were just random characters tossed into a story neither of us wanted to be in, given roles that we weren't suited for.

I wasn't truly the author of his story, but I had all the memories related to creating him. A puppet made for a person who needed a character. The true author.

A nobody given an important role for no reason.

"So, when did it start…" Yue Ying tapped his finger against the table, making a sharp sound.

Running a hand through his hair, he seemed to take time to think before responding.

"I got a present." As he said that, a hologram appeared behind him, writing down whatever he said in neat text. I ignored it, focusing on his story.

"It was a really beautiful present to me at that time. A story filled with whatever I wanted, like a pot of gold had fallen onto my lap. After a lifetime of waiting, I stepped into a world filled with wonder and love and hope." His dull eyes sparkled for a second, before it faded away as quickly as it came.

"But it disappeared. Like the wind. Poof. Everything came crashing down, breaking into pieces of dust and dirt that nobody wanted." He easily crushed the wine glass in his hands, the glass shards going everywhere. Red liquid dripped down from the fragments of glass embedded in his hand.

I couldn't tell if it was blood or wine at this point.

"Have you ever had to suffer a backstory that wasn't yours? To be born sentient, a being separated from others the moment they were born? Realising that everything you ever had was fake, just a few lines written into a book?"

He opened his hand, revealing shards of glass embedded into his hand. He didn't seem to feel pain though, picking out the glass like it was nothing.

"What am I saying. You are in the same position as me, huh." He heaved a big sign, glass shards scattered everywhere.

We both were beings born for a story. Carefully sculpted to fit the wants and needs of another person. Never being able to claim our own identity without questioning if this was really what we wanted.

"You know what happens afterwards. I don't have to explain it to you." Saying this, he stared at a particular point in the ceiling, as if waiting for something to happen.

The clock rang after five minutes.

"Oops, times up." He smiled as he said those words in a relived tone. I understood what he felt when he said that, having had to go through this suffocating hour as well.

Yue Ying placed the stem of the wine glass, the only part that hadn't been completely crushed, back on the table as a white beam of light started to shine on him. He sat there utterly relaxed under that light, as if used to this.

Just as his figure started to disappear, he seemed to remember that I was there, waving lazily while looking at me through half open eyes. "I'll go first then. It was a pleasure talking to you." With those words, he disappeared.

I placed down my hand that had unconsciously waved back at him, staring at the mess that he had left behind. My thoughts were rushing through my brain, slipping out of my hands like sand.

Picking up my now filled glass, I take a sip of the wine inside. When not gulped down recklessly, it actually tasted quite good. I savoured the taste for a while, before placing the wine glass back down and relaxing into my chair.

"Perhaps a better backstory would have been a good idea, author." Murmuring towards the ceiling, I closed my eyes as white light shone on me as well.

Maybe then he wouldn't have been so vengeful.