Chapter 2.3 - A Soul Deep Yearning

Trystan

"You made me love you!" I wiped angrily at my lips. "I kissed you because of how you make me feel. What you made me think I felt. And it's all a lie!"

I shoved him with those words, then shoved him again and swung a fist. I missed him, of course, as he stumbled back, his feet tangling with one of the desk chairs. Sprawled on the floor, he looked up at me in shock. The hurt in his eyes gave me pause.

"I made you love me? You love me?" Jace uprighted the chair he had stumbled over and sat down. "You love me?" His eyes were incredulous.

I drew a hand across my face and looked down at him. Shit Shit Shit. I can't believe I just said that. "You know what I mean."

Jace shook his head. "I know what 'I love you' means, but I don't know what it means when you say it."

"Just forget I said anything."

"Oh yeah, like that's gonna happen."

"Well, it doesn't matter. Since I don't have any control over it anyway." All I wanted to do was crawl under a desk somewhere and hoped Jace went away.

"Trys. I know that look. You can be pissed at me. Pretend I'm not here. But it doesn't change what you said. And it doesn't change what I feel."

"What you feel?" Jace stared up at me from his seat and smiled and I practically melted. The fucker

"I've been in love with you for...I don't know how long. My whole life. When we were little, I just thought I wanted you to be my best friend and that you were the only person I would ever need. When I did what I did, I was saving my best friend. I didn't even know what I was then. I didn't know until my dad explained it to me." The hurt in his eyes was gone. "I won't deny, I want you to love me." His smile was back. "I want you to want me, I want you to be turned on by me. But if you think I have any control over how you feel, you're wrong. Just like you don't have any control over how I feel. It just is."

"It just is." I mocked. "Jerk."

"What?"

You. You. You." Fucker. I thought. "You don't get to tell me something like that. You've gone out with I don't know how many girls" It's 11, by the way. "And you're going to tell me you've been in love with me your whole life? You're such an asstard."

I think Jace wanted to yell. His frustration was so blatantly obvious he had to take a second to calm down, to take a deep breath, and then he started to explain like he was speaking to a 5-year-old. "Look. My dad said I had to act normal. My whole life has been a secret since I was 10, even from you. I couldn't tell you any of it. My best friend." Jace smiled mischievously "Do you know how awesome it would have been for me to be able to tell you that I saved your life. Brought you back from the precipice of death." Jace raised his arms dramatically then shook his head. "But no, all I get is 'I fell from a tree, twenty feet, and all I got was this scar'. Like you were some superhero."

"Act normal? You're a vampire for God's sake!" It felt stupid to throw that in his face, stupid and just a little bit surreal. My best friend was a vampire!

"You know what I mean Trys."

I still wanted to be pissed at him. I wanted to shake him and yell at him and any number of other things to show him I was still pissed, that he wasn't the only one that was frustrated. But I wanted to kiss him again too. Cuz that first one was like unfffffff. Seriously. It wasn't the cliché fireworks and romantic ballad in the background. No...it was way past that. I looked around us, at the open door to the hallway. Walking over to it, I pulled it closed and turned around and found Jace right behind me. "Oh. Hi." I swear to God I could feel my heart beating in my chest.

"Hi." Jace has this adorable smirk he gets like he knows something.

"So yeah. I was thinking maybe we should try something. You know, make sure it wasn't a fluke, what I felt."

"Like what?" That smirk was even bigger. I wanted to hit him. Not as much as I wanted to kiss him, but still, you know that feeling.

"Like maybe I kiss you again. And see what it feels like."

"You want to kiss me?"

"Uh-huh." I nodded vigorously as he stepped even closer. I could feel the heat rolling off of him. I tentatively reached for his hand and took a hold of it only to let go and then grab it again. He grabbed my other hand and wrapped it around his waist. I needed no more prodding and I pulled him against me. We both laughed a little, nervous laughter. I could tell or rather could feel he was into it, at least as much as I was suddenly into him.

I admit I've liked him for as long as I can remember, but I can honestly say I've not felt this when around him. Not this. I put a hand on his chest and could feel his heart beating. He leaned into me, his crotch grinding subtly against me. I felt his hand slide into my back pocket as he pulled me even tighter against him. I think I might have squeaked a little bit before he finally kissed me. It was a tentative kiss, at least it started out that way, but with each passing second, he grew bolder. His hands pulled at me, my hand on his chest gripped his shirt and pulled him closer and I forgot everything as we both lost ourselves. I was slammed back against the door, let loose another squeak, and gasped for air as his mouth all but covered mine. He was grinding harder against me and a hand snaked down between us and I felt him grab me. I think he was bound and determined to get as many squeaks out of me as possible.

I had to shove him away from me. I was panting. "Okay... Time... Out .." Each word punctuated by another gasp of air. "So... Yeah."

Jace's hands were reaching for me. Barely grasping, tugging at my shirtsleeves at the waist of my jeans; his fingertips touching me all over. I had to keep my hands on his chest, to keep him at arm's length.

"Holy hell! What are we doing?" I was breathless.

"Kissing." He said it like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I couldn't help but nod. Then shook my head. "That wasn't kissing. That was..."

Jace started to lean into me again.

"No. Stop. Not here."

I couldn't help but laugh as he whined. "You're such a tease."

"I'm not a tease. The bell's about to ring and if we keep going I don't think we're going to hear it."

"Fine. Let's go home."

"I can't." I didn't dare let him persuade me. One more kiss, even the start of one more kiss and we could have sex on top of the desks and I wouldn't care. Jace leaned into me again. "You stay right there, mister!"

Jace whined again. "Fine. I can't believe you're going to make me walk around the rest of the day with a case of blue balls."

I laughed again. "Why don't you just go in the bathroom and knock one out."

Jace grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me against him. "Why don't you come with me and help." He thrust his crotch against mine and I had to close my eyes and breathe because I was so turned on I think I was about to make a mess. He was nipping at my lips, quick fast little kisses and I felt my resolve dwindling.

"Jace. You need to sto..." His hand was at the base of my neck, fingers playing with my hair, his eyes intent on mine. He pulled me into another kiss and instead of fighting it, I push against the door and we banged our way through the classroom, knocking a couple of chairs and desks and the bookshelf next to the window until I had Jace pressed against the windows. Two can play at this game. He had a hand slipped into the back of my jeans and grabbing my ass, while one of mine had worked a couple of buttons open and had slid inside his shirt. I kissed him hungrily, our tongues lapping at each other, tasting each other. I softly bit his lower lip and when he bit mine in return, I felt a sting and tasted blood. Then he pushed me away; hard enough I almost fell. His breathing was so intense; I thought he was hyperventilating. I took a tentative step towards him but he shook his head and pointed towards the door, gesturing for me to leave. His eyes were bloodshot and he was pale. He gripped the windowsill, stared straight down at his chest, and took deep slow breaths. After several breaths, he slumped down to his knees.

"Fuck."

"Are you okay? You're not gonna vamp out on me are you?"

Jace lifted his hand slowly and shot me the bird.

"You looked like you were about to eat me. How is it, you've date elev.... so many girls and have never eaten one?" I slumped down next to him and propped my head on his shoulder.

"Something happened. Something that's never happened before." His bangs were sweaty and sticking to his forehead, but the color had returned to his cheeks. He reached up and touched his lips. "You bit me."

"You bit me too." I ran my tongue across my lips but didn't feel anything.

"No. I didn't." He pulled his fingers away and again, his fingertips were covered with blood. "That's the second time you've done that."

I remembered the taste of blood; the taste of Jace's blood. "This can't be good."

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