it all started with a first break up

when I was in high school it always made me wonder why are people dating if they know that they will break up someday ,I don't understand . all those promises in movies are all lies? I said you myself, but when I was in my last year of high school I realised after my first break up that oh so it's like that huh? once she sees u not worth your time she breaks up ? is that how people do here or better question is this really what love is - I asked myself crying in my room after loving a girl with my soul . hard times man I mean come on we all have seen it for ourselfs or been in those situations realizing how can they do this to us how can he or she do this. but after a while u grow up, u grow up or u degrade or fall down to the pit of disappointment making everyone bout u worry ur parents ur siblings ur friends and then during those times u would have 3 choices , 1- maybe it's time for me to understand and grow up and look back , so keep moving forward, 2- just reminds a disappointment, 3 - just end it all and die. oh yeah there are 4 actually it was new for me at the time called " fall in love with yourself " now I was like wait a sec I am guy and if I love myself is that gay? bruv becoming gay from a straight guy is the last thing to do on my table. but when I got educated by my friends on how can I love myself, I was like oh thank god now that's a relief so it ain't gay doin so, so 4rth option it is , and damnn.. I just realized all this feeling of sadness was not just cuz or the break up but also the fact that I was hating myself . I looked at myself and went okay I look like a drunk divorced anaemic bus driver who was also high on crack. I was like damn son I need a glow up. you u my so called glow up stage was not what u think it was not a 4 mins " what is love " song it took a lot of time to get where I am now. so I had to get some stuff right. with the help of my friends I realised hey these guys know a lot and then I realized how ugly I really was . made me sad but also gave me choice, like my old man always says "life is full of choices it's all up to you to choose em ". and so I hit the gym and damn son guys in there looked like they could fuck me up big time it felt those movie jail scenes where all those black guys and brown guys and white looked buff as fuck. some where fat and I was the only thin one. can u imagine it took me 3 months to finally find my species. and when I did I just went up to him and hugged him like " where have u been u son of a bitch " . days go by and I got introduced to skin care routines for men, thanks YouTube. you know what this is bout YouTube sometimes it shows some good shit and some bad shit to you more like cringe or enough internet for today shit. man I swear to God the items that I saw em used looked similar to those cheap ones I see them in malls but nope those ain't the same and cheap stuff don't work bro trust me. I know some of u rich motherfuckers might be thinking why buy smth that's not recommended. it's because we Indians hate spending money on expensive shit and if u think average middle class Indian parents gonna buy u that shit then guess what u r then son of the president of India. anyway I got those expensive stuff but not all of em just 2 of em and guess worked smth finnaly worked. I started seeing myself with clear skin.