CHAPTER ONE

The chills from that night, I still feel in every touch and every word. The feeling of bliss I still long for. Gracious hands I still feel on me, seductive eyes always making an appearance in my sleep. The gentleness I still crave. Carried like a princess and treated like an egg. My actions. The result. The ache in my heart still unbearable but I'll seal it cause that's what I always do right?

"papa?"

"Yes my little angel"

"This tree is grown and so big, bearing so many fruits but..." I paused my words looking up at the apple tree so confused. "It's only one that's ripe papa". I said staring in amazement.

" The one that's ripe is so high and I want it papa but my fingers are so small" I whispered in a quivering voice staring at my fingers stained with dirt from the bark of the tree.

" says who, of course you could always get it despite the size of your fingers or how high it is". Papa turned me to him wiping off my tear stained cheeks and dusting off the dirt on my hands.

"It's only called an achievement when it took a lot of determination and hard- work to get it despite the circumstance my sweet girl" wrapping my hand with his he said smiling so adoringly.

"Now look there. That apple shines the brightest amongst all. So significant in nature. The domineering red signifying it's ripeness. Catching the eyes of many but only gotten by a few". Papa pointed out staring thoughtfully at the tree.

"Now the question is would you be one of the few?". Silence engulfed us as I tried to let his words sink in.

"How do I get it papa, how do I become one of them"

"There's strength in the smallest weakness, there's knowledge in every trace of ignorance, there's wisdom in every foolish saying, there's creativity in a every artwork. No work is finished without a muse, no action is taken without an Inspiration Kaeli. Ignite her, encourage her and you'll see her reach that apple".

"What does that mean papa". I turned eagerly at my father only to find the spot empty.

"Papa! Papa! Papa! Where are you?!" my pink shoe trampled on the fallen dried leaves as I ran everywhere in search of my father.

"papa!"

"Papa!" I shouted as my body jolted in up and my eyes widened in horror. Heart racing a thousand miles. My reflection was enough validation that it was dream. Was that really a dream or a nightmare!

Running my fingers through my dishevelled bed hair I realised my cheeks were tear stained and tears were running down my eyes slowly. Wiping them I tried to shake off my dream.

"It was just a dream Aisli, just a dream. Dad can't disappear, he won't just leave you in the middle of no where. He won't." reassuring myself I pulled my shirt tightly feeling how drenched in sweat it was.

Refusing to close my eyes in fear on returning back to that dream I stretched my hand to the bedside table in search of my phone.

10:30 am?! Mum would be so upset with me right now. I should really stop binge watching k dramas till late hours. Mentally noted.

Taking a clean shower I headed downstairs. The loud noise caught my attention making me walk hastily to the source. Walking into the kitchen, the sight I met with left me in utter bewilderment.

Mum was frozen in a spot as her phone lay on the ground scattered into pieces. Her face went pale as she stared hard at the wall. The tears threatening to fall down let loose.

"Mum what's wrong?!" I hurriedly went to her side to support her and keep her from falling.

"K-k-Kaeli, my phone, the call, t-they called" She couldn't form a comprehensive sentence shaking as she tried talking.

 "Mum what call?! What phone?! Mum what's going on?! You're getting me so scared mum!" I tried snapping her out of her trance. Turning her body to mine I held her face "Mum what's going on?! Can you tell me already?!"

I couldn't help the gut feeling slowly creeping up my lungs. I felt something that I couldn't comprehend.

"Your dad Kaeli, your dad is gone!" she fell to her knees weeping bitterly.

"G-Gone? Gone to where? Work right?"

"Mum what do you mean gone!" I shouted feeling goosebumps on my skin.

"Kaeli, Your dad, my husband is dead. He left for work few this morning only for me to get a call now that h-he was shot by some un-un known men and he was rushed to the hospital dead on arrival"

"No no no no it can't be papa promised me." I whispered. My back hit the wall and then I realised that I had been subconsciously stepping back.

"What hospital mum" asked still in disbelief. As soon as I was told, I took off on my heels not caring how I dressed or looked.

 I could hear the distant calls of my mum begging me to come back but I couldn't! I can't stay there! She's lying! They are lying! Papa promised never to leave me! Ever!

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"Good morning ma, please there was a man brought in here this morning. Mr Thomas Smith" I jumbled my words in fear and my hands shook in anxiety of what's to come next.

"Oh a man was indeed rushed her early this morning but he was dead on arrival. We don't know any of this relatives or name but we managed to contact his wife and passed the news across".

"No no, not that man, my dad was rushed here after a gunshot so he isn't dead. Please where is he, I'm sure he misses me and needs to see me".

"I'm sorry sweetheart but sadly the man is dead and currently in the mug". Her words dripped with pity and I felt nauseous at the sound of it.

"C-can I at least see him please it may not-"

"Of course you can. Walk down there, turn to your left, and it's the third door by your left.

"Okay, thank you".

"Whatever the outcome is, just know you're brave, strong and can overcome it all". She encouraged so compassionately.

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My hands trembled as I opened the door. The strong smell of cadaver wafted through my nostrils but a familiar looking black shoe caught my eye.

The bodies were all covered in white cloth but the fresh blood evident on the first body made me walk in further. With quivering hands I opened the cloth.

At that point I felt my heart break. My father laid there lifeless with blood gushing out of his chest and forehead.

"Dad no! Papa please! You promised, you promised! I broke down in tears as I could feel my throat getting stuck with air and my breathing erratically increasing

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" Kaeli! Kayna! We are about leaving hurry up" I heard my uncle, Jamil shout out loud. Uncle Jamil is my mum's younger brother that was never in support of mum and dad's marriage but at least he's a good uncle to us.

Numbness.

Crying morning and night for the past one week would put you in that situation.

Empty.

Asking and praying for a loved one to come back would leave you feeling that way.

Broken.

A six letter word with a hefty meaning only felt when hurt. An injury beyond repair but in may heart.

I sat facing the mirror lost in my own world of pain wondering how I'd get to say goodbye to my hero today. Tying my hair into a ponytail I stood up staring at the reflection of a numb, empty and broken girl.

My eyes had lost it brown shade, dark circles prominent to the sight, my face looked pale and I looked a lot skinner. I just want this day to be done and over with!

Deciding to swallow the lump in my throat I made my way downstairs to meet everyone.

"awww there's my big pumpkin" uncle Jamil dragged my cheeks making funny faces in an attempt to lighten my mood. "what took you so long? Where's my little pumpk- oh there she is" he informed walking to kayna my little sister.

The movement of a body caught my attention and I turned only to be met with a shattering sight.

My mum was sat on the chair staring at a picture of her and my dad. He kissed her head so lovingly as she made funny faces. They were really in love.

I watched her stare at the picture with tears rolling down her eyes but no sound was made.

"mum, let's go" I drew her attention.

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papa, why did you leave us so soon. You promised me you'll never leave but you did. Mum is shattered and kayna is completely broken and has shut herself from us. I thought swimming in oblivion.

"Kaeli come on girl! It's been over four months since he was buried, put yourself together for your mum and sister". Ann, my best friend said worriedly while leaning by the door frame with her arms folded.

"A lot was discovered and lost in four months Ann. I just wish this is a nightmare, I just want to wake up from everything" I sobbed

It's been over four months since my dad was buried but yet the pain isn't buried. I thought I'd feel better knowing he has been buried but that only sunk the knife deeper in my chest.

"you know what, let's go to club" Ann smiled excitedly in anticipation walking towards my bed

''Girl please no. I just lost my dad and I'm not ready for that right now"

" You know, I miss the old Kaeli. The fun, brave and adventurous one. This Kaeli is depressed, sad and boring. Stand strong girl". Sitting on my bed she scooted closer saying that.

A moment of silence came as I thought deeply.

"Okay."

"Okay?!"

"Okay." I repeated hoping I don't regret my decision. "Okay!". She jumped off the bed excitedly and ran off to my walk-in closet.

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What made me agree to this ridiculous suggestion must be studied. I just sat there watching people dance and suck their faces off on the dance floor.

Ann went off with a guy she had an argument with while getting drinks for the both of us and she disappeared ever since then. Claiming to 'put him in his place' indeed.

Lazily scanning my eyes round the club, I took in a sharp intake of breath at the sight right in front of me. There walked in a man, dressed in thick black clothes. He walked in without being checked or quarried. Walking with his head faced straight, chin up high and jaw perfectly clenched. Damn he was a sight to behold.

I watched as he made his way upstairs to the VVIP section. Sat authoritatively and commanded respect by his mere countenance. Though, I couldn't see his eyes as they were covered up with shades but I had a feeling they'll be really enticing.

Walking to the bar, I asked the bartender for a drink. "Hey handsome" I said flirtatiously getting his attention. " How many I help you bellisima" he replied with a thick Italian accent.

"French kiss please"

"For a sexy lady like you, White striper would be the best for you" kissing the back of my palm he suggested staring seductively. For a second I remembered all I had been through in the past three months and decided to forget it for a night at least.

"I'll try it then" motioning two fingers to him, he came so I whispered in this ear "Take french kiss to the man sitting over there " I pointed at the sexy intimidating stranger sitted at the VVIP. "Tell him it's from a red seductress".

Watching the bartender walk upstairs, I felt my stomach drop in anticipation but I drank my cocktail slowly watching it all unveil. Suddenly the handsome stranger's head turned towards me and at that point, I felt my heartbeat pace faster.

Mr handsome stranger removed his shades and arched a brow with a sly smirk playing at the corner of his lips. The eye contact was really intense as he maintained it walking downstairs and to me.

"A red seductress Indeed" came a deep husky voice. Raising my head to the source, I was met with a pair of grey alluring eyes. "A beautiful one at that" I added trying hard to conceal my nervousness.

"White striper" he stated after sipping my cocktail using my straw. My lips were left agape at the action. The club lights making his features look extra good but a bit hard to master.

I coughed nervously and he smirked cockily

"Had a bad day today?" his inquisitive look never fading. "That would have been better" I replied. Noticing my wish not to say anything more, "Shots instead?" . "Yes please"

He summoned for the bartender to come and he ordered shots.

"The name is-" he tried saying but got interrupted by the bartender

"Here you go, have fun!" pushing the tray of shots to us winked at me

Like a form of GO GIRL!

After five shots, I felt the ache in my heart for the past three months slowly fade as I focused on the calm feeling my body felt. The worries and pain far gone and that was exactly what I needed.

" No they didn't!" laughing hysterically, I hit him on his arm feeling genuinely happy for the first time in the past three months.

 "And just like that the old lady chased me with her bag from the mall. How embarrassing" he flinched in reminisce.

 We were both wasted as silence engulfed us watching people slur, kiss and drunkenly dance. At that point, all I wanted to do was to forget.

Turning back to him, I stood up, brought my face closer to his that I could perceive the strong smell of vodka on his breath and whispered. "Make little miss red seductress forget".

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Sunlight peeked through the windows disturbing my peaceful sleep. Slowly gaining consciousness, I stretched my hands towards the window in an attempt to block the rays of the light "oh my goodness mum didn't help me shut my curtain again" I grumbled in annoyance.

In the process of trying to reach for my phone, I felt my hand touch something warm and hard but smooth. Raising my hand I felt something hairy on my palm. The feeling processed in my head as I abruptly snapped my eyes open.

There was a man in my bed, laying half naked on his chest with his hand tucked underneath the pillow and head facing the opposite direction.

Oh my gosh! No no no no

The hangover wasn't helping matters either. My head was splitting and for a second I thought I'll pass out. My eyes ached and so did my body but for a different reason

Seeing my clothes littered on the floor, the room looking different and seeing a half naked man in bed with me only tells me one thing.

Memories came running back to me of our encounter, the drinks, him and our passionate night. It felt so real and erotic. Damn

" Ann would be so worried about me. Gosh mum and Kayna too. I have to leave right now" I thought out loud.

In an attempt to stand up, I felt so sore down there and flinched in pain at every attempt to walk. Managing to pack my littered clothes and accessories, I changed into them and left the room.

The past would be the past and not come to hunt me.

 Or so I thought.

"Find her!"