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Invincible SI: Actually Invincible

It sucks that of the two Invincible Self Insert fanfictions I have found, neither reliably updates. So here I am to fix that by bringing the world an Invincible Self Insert fanfiction by an author with a proven track record of reliable updates, finished stories, and the full capacity to play with the plot however I want without twisting the traits and tone of the characters. So strap in for a good time. Fair warning, the SCI-FI will be harder than what is seen in the comics and TV show and some of the plot conveniences that get thrown out as soon as they are introduced are gone. Props to LordValmar for the cover image Massive props to SeekingRaven for funding this story. U da best, Dawg.

JManM · Tranh châm biếm
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55 Chs

Come Home

Mar-L's day and sandwich were ruined when his parents began fornicating on the kitchen table. Did they not appreciate the research and effort it took to make such perfect lunchtime solutions? Mar-L didn't just go to the store and get sliced bread and packaged lunch meats with some pre sliced cheese. No, he baked his own bread rolls seasoned in different ways for different days, pickled his own onions, salted his tomatoes, dressed his greens, and complimented them all with well selected meats and cheeses and sauces to create works of art that deserved to be wrapped in wax paper even if he was just going to eat them right at the kitchen table.

A kitchen table that will now have to be washed thoroughly to get all the booty sweat and other fluids off it once the savages are finished making him a sibling.

Mar-L threw himself on the bed and held pillows over his ears to no avail. Not even the vibranium throughout the house could silence their raucous lovemaking to his Czarnian-Kryptonian-Viltrumite hybrid senses.

He endured until they finished their passionate tryst, but when they started up again he reached the limits of his young patience. It's not like he could just go outside and ignore it. He can hear people breeding all the way on the other side of the world if he wants too, but the sound of slapping flesh between his mother and his father has drilled into his mind like an earworm.

Space! Space is an option! But damnation, as a Kryptonian he can hear in space from many lightyears away… Unless he flies straight at a red sun shutting off his Kryptonian powers after a certain amount of exposure.

Mar-L opened his window, ready to fly straight into a red sun, when a rock hit him in the face. Stunned by the surprising turn of events, Mar-L froze, looking at the rock that he caught on it's decent when another rock hit him in the face. He turned his focus to the trio of pale skinned boys hovering across the street, chucking more rocks at him.

"Why are you throwing rocks at me?" He shouted at his half brothers.

"Why did you replace the window with your face?" Ademar shouted back.

"Why would you throw rocks at my window?" Mar-L yelled at Ademar as the boys flew over.

"To get your attention the way normal kids get their pals attention." Adar grinned, "Haven't you ever seen any movies?"

"But you could have knocked on my window… or the front door." Mar-L frowned at his brothers.

"But then it wouldn't have been like the movies." Adar explained as he entered the bedroom high above the busy city street and clapped his slightly older half brother on the shoulder.

"Well… it's nice seeing you gentlemen, but I must fly to the closest red sun to escape the sounds of parental coitus." Mar-L stated as he pushed though Jon and Ademar on his way back to the window.

"Get it, Dad!" Ademar grinned, much to Mar-L's dismay.

Did he not understand the existential dread of parents having the sex!

"Brother…" Mar-L's countenance fell, "Do you not know what goes on beyond that door? Our father is doing… IT!"

"Yeah, bro. That's what he does. That's why we are all here." Adar furrowed his brow in confusion.

"With a woman!" Mar-L barked, "He is having the sex!"

"Sounds like he is doing it right, too." Ademar commented.

"How dare you!" Mar-L growled, "Are you unaware of how this flagrant fornication demeans both the participants, and us, the society!"

"I don't think this guy understands that I'm Greek…" Jon murmured but Mar-L heard him… because how could he not.

"And maybe if the Greeks had put aside their preoccupation with intercourse they would have accomplished anything of worth between now and the days of antiquity." Mar-l rounded on his brothers, "The sex is a distraction. It pollutes our minds, opaques our clarity of purpose. Our path to glory is beset on all sides by freshly shaven quim. We must turn neither left nor right, for it is the straight and narrow path that leads to our best destiny."

"Oh no, I see what's happening here." Adar sighed, "This boy is cut off from his history. He doesn't know - how could he know - about the time our dad conquered two universes with just his cock."

With a heavy heart, Adar donned his sling ring and made a circular motion sparking up a portal, and on the other side stood a shining city as far as the eye can see.

"It's time to come home, Mar-L." Adar spoke as he he guided the portal to move over them, depositing the four brothers onto the other side, "It's time to come home to the Actually Invincible Verse."

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Author's Note

Alright, alright, alright. Here is the next scene from Actually Invincible and proof that when you hit a brick wall of writer's block you need to grab the sledge hammer and start slamming it scene by scene as this scene actually got me excited.

I still don't have a perfect idea of what to do next, but at least I moved the meter and actually put out something that didn't feel like a trip to a janky dentist.

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