Chapter four

Eren was out accompanying Irem on her way to the street market. The road to the markets was a long way and those type of markets were always crowded, he thought he ought to accompany her to ensure her and 'provide her by his protection' as he thought. He did think of himself as her hero for taking more care of since that day where she cried to him and when he told her that she has him. He thought he'd have gained the right to her love, he felt like she owes him in a way. He wanted more from her, he was a little more bold today, he held her hand in his and excused that she should hold his hand to be safe, in case anything happened. He was getting excited to be walking while holding her hand, he felt a sense of pride that everyone would look at her and know that she's with him.

“You and Viyan are really close, you know. You even use the same wordings as each other.” Irem noted, starting a conversation.

“Oh yeah, I'm really attached to my aunt. Also, did I ever tell you that I only learnt to speak Sorani because of her? That’s probably why we use the same expressions and words. She raised me, more than my mother did. I remember when I was younger, I wished Auntie Viyan was my mother instead. I used to be really sad whenever she travelled back to Kurdistan.” He chuckled, his voice softening when he spoke of her as a gentle smile appeared on his face.

“I’m thankful she did teach you Sorani or else maybe I wouldn’t have got to know you like I do now.” Irem told him as Eren's eyes met hers, his own smile mirroring hers as he took in her words.

“She did everything for me, really. My mother and father always threw me to the fucking side because I wasn't 'successful' as my older brother. Fucking Soran man, that stuck up asshole. He has a career in architecture now, Soran was always the guy on top of his classes. You se, me, I wasn't like him. I used to mess around, get high and intoxicated and go into many fights and would be coming home battered everyday. My parents, they didn't like me, they gave up on me early on so I was always left doing whatever I wanted. Soran used to be jealous because he wasn't allowed to do all those things and go out all the time, but it's because they cared about him. But for me, I was an 'embarrassment' because according to them apparently I'm rude and lack manners. Auntie Viyan was different, she didn’t see me like that. It felt great being her favourite nephew rather than my brother. I don't know, I felt loved ... I guess.” Eren told her, his other hand reaching to scratch his neck as he worried about how she might perceive him after what he said. He feared that his honesty might have created a barrier between them, he didn't want her to think that he wasn't the tough and careless man that he portrays himself as. He was a man, he didn't often like to talk or share such things. Eren never really told anyone directly about his family life and how he feels, he wasn't the type to do so, but he told Irem because he felt like he wanted to.

“I don’t think you’re rude.” She spoke, assuring him, she let her fingers rub his hand with her soft touch.

“Wait, really? You think that?”

“I mean, you did initially give a rude impression when I first met you, but I don’t think that anymore. You’re more than that to me, I guess.” Irem's voice betrayed some nervousness but her tone remained serious to convey her genuineness.

Eren’s lips curled into a smile, relived by her response. “Most women think I’m a dick, but Irem, you don’t.” There was lightheartedness in his tone, acknowledging the reputation he had garnered with women. He didn’t care much about what women thought of him now, but he couldn't deny that he cared what Irem thought about him.

“There’s other women?” She asked in a low voice, pretending to be getting jealous in front of Eren for a moment.

“No! No. Not like that, nothing for you to get worried about.” He rushed to respond in a loud voice, almost shouting to prove his truth and sincerity to her.

“Who said I was worried?” She laughed, her words teasing him as her concerned facade disappeared.

“Me. I said that.” He remarked, a smirk playing on his lips as he exhibited his confidence, amusing Irem and making her laugh further. He took pride in his ability to elicit laughter from her.

“If your brother, this Soran, is an architect, what do you do in Germany?” She asked as she leaned in slightly, her curiosity and interest about him evident in her voice.

“Oh, I didn't tell you? I work in construction. It’s amazing really, right now we’re building a new primary school in Bremen, my city. You should travel to see it when it’s done! You should even be travelling to see me.” He spoke as his gestures mirrored his words, as he laughed when he said his last sentence.

“I’ll miss you when you go back to Germany,” she sighed, the thought of him going away heavy on her mind. “You made life seem less difficult, you made me happy to wake up everyday to see you. You made me feel not lonely anymore, even though you're still a little annoying,” she laughed, “you’ve been like a friend to me.”

Eren’s pride was crushed in pieces once he heard her refer to him as a ‘friend’, he didn’t want to be her friend, he wanted more than that. His once bright smile was replaced by a hardened expression, the notion of him being a mere friend wounded his ego. He immediately felt irritated by Irem’s presence. He jerked his hand away from hers, his movements sharp and abrupt. For a moment, anger and entitlement took over his mind. His thoughts spiraled into thinking that she deserved whatever happened to her, that she deserved to suffer by the war, all his once sympathies disappearing by her perceived rejection.

“You’re a bi-” he attempted to insult her but before he could, he was cut off by Irem grabbing his face and kissing his lips. He was taken back, but his hands pulled her closer by the waist as he kissed her back, he suddenly felt ecstatic once more.

Irem pulled away from him after their brief moment, she was still close to Eren as her eyes checked their surroundings to make sure no one’s there. Things like public kissing were forbidden in Kurdish society, she was taking a huge risk by kissing Eren like that. It’s not like she expected him to know that considering he’s from Germany. Her gaze returned to meet his, her hand gently reached out to touch Eren's face, her thumb softly tracing his lips.

“I was just kidding. You looked like you were going to explode when I called you a friend.” She chuckled, amused by his reaction. “What were you going to say before I cut you off?”

“Oh. Nothing, nothing.” He quickly uttered, his eyes still fixated on her, trying to comprehend what happened between them. “I like you.” He confessed to her with a smile on his face.

“I already know that.” She said with a playful smile on her face, still teasing him.

Eren leaned in to try and kiss her again but she stopped him by placing her hand on his chest as she heard some noise. “We can’t do that here. Not when there’s other people, I understand it’s probably not like that for you in Germany but in Kurdistan it’s different. People are going to call me names and insult my father.”

“Okay, okay then.” He reluctantly accepted, his tone carrying disappointment.

“I like you too, maybe a little too much.” Irem said, fidgeting with her fingers.

“What’s there not to like?” His words carried a light-hearted arrogance, his confidence and charm returning to him.

“Oh shut up!” She laughed again at his egotistical tendencies, her hand pushing him away in a playful manner.