Chapter 15: Facing the Music

Since that incident, she had not seen Jing Yue. She knew that this was just temporary and perhaps there would be chances for them to meet in the future. But even given that possibility, how could she even face him that she had been so needy with him inside the room when she was drunk?

He hadn’t even called her... Wait, he didn’t have her number, either. She crawled out of bed and stared into the mirror watching her disorderly state.

Perhaps if not for the fire drill that night, she would have made love with Jing Yue and this would have changed his perspective of her. The fire drill had caused them to scatter and run out of the room, forget about the party and assemble outside the building. They were divided after that and she never got to see what expression he had on his face before she left.

And that way, two weeks had passed. There was no mention of Jing Yue since then.

It was Sunday today. She wouldn’t have much to do. On Monday, she and Janny would have to report for duty at JID’s headquarters. This was a place that had kept their cultures and practices so secretively that she knew nothing about how she should act or work. According to Janny, her first job was to work for Jack Shi, which was what she was doing now. As the exclusive assistant to an architect, Xin Ran would have to support one of JID’s architects, Xun Mi, and liaise with the interior designers there.

Jack and Janice Shi would not be involved in the project. It was on her and Janny’s hands how they wanted to perform and work there, either prove their calibre or if they weren’t happy, to resign and seek new employment with another architectural firm.

She began to think about Jing Yue, the cold interior designer that held her by the reins and confused her. The image of Fang Yiqi having the same visage as he, haunted her. How could Jing Yue be Fang Yiqi, the very man who had hurt her feelings? What could she do? And if he was Fang Yiqi in his past life, what could he achieve by approaching her during this life?

His kisses had felt so seducing and arousing. She was not ready to walk into a relationship with a man who had hurt her in a past life. But at the same time, she couldn’t resist him and his luscious lips on hers. There had to be something she could do to prevent her from getting into the pain that she had once suffered as Xin Ran.

Remembering the password Tang Ying Xue had written down in the notes application of her smartphone, Xin Ran retrieved the note. It took her a minute to get into the portal and type in the password.

In the application itself, there were a few more password-protected folders, and she knew something had to be saved inside each folder. To gain access to her first folder, she was asked a question.

“Where did I first meet Jing Yue?”

She answered with the name of the hotel and the seminar they had attended, but this wasn’t enough. She was locked out from Ying Xue’s memories. Maybe Janny would have an idea.

Out of curiosity, she explored the rest of Ying Xue’s memories, leading her to realise their dissimilarities.

………………

Noises were coming from Janny’s room. She decided it was bad timing. Janny must be performing some workouts in her room, and she shouldn’t disturb her friend. However, the door opened unexpectedly and Janny walked out of the room in a dark-coloured dry-fit sports attire. Her hair was bunned tightly and she looked mature and convincing as a personal trainer.

She had been standing outside Janny’s room ogling at her for some time until Janny looked at her confusedly.

“Xue Xue, are you alright?”

She immediately told her friend about the situation and detailed how she had attempted to access Ying Xue’s journal, but she didn’t know the answer to her security question. Janny began to think of the past.

“You knew him while you were in university,” she said.

Xin Ran seemed to be unable to grasp the fact that Ying Xue had known Jing Yue for so long. Why hadn’t she made a move on him yet, then? From Jing Yue’s body language, he seemed very accepting of Ying Xue. When he was drunk, he had admitted that he had wanted her.

Only that it wasn’t her, most likely it was Ying Xue that he liked. But it didn’t matter now, because she had been reborn into Ying Xue’s body. She still refused to believe that she, Chu Xin Ran, was Ying Xue. Furthermore, the goddess had sealed her memories, leaving her with almost nothing but a few memories. Did Jing Yue have any memories from being Fang Yiqi, if he was him?

She pressed her lips together and mumbled their names under her breath. If she liked Jing Yue, Jing Yue liked Ying Xue, and he was Fang Yiqi in a past lifetime, where did it leave her at?

Even if she was reborn in Ying Xue’s body, did it mean she was Ying Xue? She had been searching for those lost memories for so long, that she had almost given up. Now, she believed that she and Ying Xue was now two different people.

What if he found out one day that she wasn’t Ying Xue and had only taken over her body? Would he leave in disappointment?

By now, she had listed down a hundred over differences between Ying Xue and herself. Was she, like that Korean movie, a parasite living in Ying Xue’s body? Would the true Ying Xue’s nature one day resurface in her?

But most importantly, would Jing Yue take her for who she was, rather than who she wasn’t?

In fourteen hours, Sunday would be over, and it would be time for her to face her new challenges. Regardless if Jing Yue liked her or not, she would have to continue living her life. Her life didn’t revolve around love or the unanswered questions in her mind.

Looking at the blank smartphone screen on the coffee table, she seized it and dialled that commonly-called number in her favourite list. She had configured it as number 2 on her speed dial list. It took her six rings before he finally answered. She felt instantaneous relief hearing his voice.

“Hello?” a man’s voice sounded from the other side of the phone. Though he was not Jing Yue, she liked the way he spoke. She sensed good vibes from him, opposed to how melancholy he was weeks ago when he had informed her of his rejection.

“Hi, Marvel.”

“Hello, Snow. It’s been some time since you last called.”

She wanted to ask him out for a cup of coffee. Yet, she found it abrupt and perceived that it would shock him since she had rejected him in the past over her infatuation for Jing Yue. So she swallowed down her words.

“I’ve been busy. What about you?”

“It’s a long story and I wished I could tell you more, but I have some things to take care of later. I almost had her, but the unexpected happened.” He chuckled, appearing to be in a jovial mood. “I’m glad you called. It’s nice to speak to you again.”

She was starting to feel bad that she had rejected him without even giving him a chance to meet her and with Jing Yue, it was akin to stepping into a bottomless pit of regret. Because Jing Yue was Fang Yiqi, she didn’t know what to expect any more from the relationship. He had wanted her and not loved her.

Maybe because he was Fang Yiqi and Ying Xue was the one he was after, she was beginning to feel that she was making useless endeavours. She believed that she was doomed for a bad end.