Merry Christmas, Night City!

"What the fuck is that?" my mother shrieked as a Mr. Handy with a red ribbon tied into a bow on his head floated into El Coyote Cojo with me on Christmas morning.

"Greetings madam, I am Wadsworth C. Dornez." The Mr. Handy introduced himself with a remarkably classy accent, "Automaton and cyberbutler for El Coyote Cojo. I cook the food, clean the facility, take out the trash, and should the need arise…" Wadsworth's three mechanical hands slipped apart revealing multiple monowire control systems in each, "kill any self-entitled little twats bothering you."

Mama Welles considered the robo-butler as he put away the lethal wires, "How good does it cook?"

"Consistent." I grinned, "And he never mistakes the sugar and salt."

"Elementary Master Juan." Wadsworth chuckled and floated into the kitchen to begin his work.

"Nice, hermano." Jackie grinned as he sat on a barstool with his arms over his chest.

"But wait! There's more!" I announced then spoke into my phone, "Bring the truck around."

Small Juan: There's some junkies laying down in front of the truck protesting big business.

Big Juan: Run them over, vato. We can't let some tweekers ruin Christmas.

Small Juan: Ice cold, homes.

"Alright family, employees, customers, gang chooms, and relations of all kinds." I orated and gestured to the door, "If you will all step out for a moment, we can roll out the next spectacle."

The people enjoying the El Coyote Cojo Christmas morning breakfast special slowly exited the building, the power of Mama's recipes unable to keep them from the show.

As Small Juan brought a big rig with blood on the tires down the street I narrated what led up to this auspicious day, "When I was a boy, I felt like I needed to be ready to fight in the next big Corpo war to keep mi mama safe in Night City. Some of you may remember how that turned out a few months ago. That night was close, too close. But we had good friends and good neighbors to save the day, the night, and the girl too."

I waited while everyone patted themselves on the back and cheered loudly for the neighborhood's win over the Tyger Claws.

"If not for all of you mi mama could have died." I declared somberly as Juanie came to a stop in the parking lot and the custom ramp slowly descend from the trailer, "But I learned something that night. If a man wants to protect his mama in Night City, then he has to be more than ready to fight in the next big Corpo war. He needs to win it!"

My announcement voice activated the roll up door in the back of the trailer, and fog seeped out. A painful red light shined through the mist.

"Powering up. Intelligence Package initiating. Scanning protocols and rules of engagement." Announced an fully synthetic voice, no attempt at humanization made, "Current Objective: Patrol immediate area around El Coyote Cojo and neutralize any threats to Mama Welles and or patrons. Do not interfere with security operations."

After that announcement the first of a dozen Sentry Bots rolled down the ramp, sporting a heavy machine gun on one arm and a heavy shotgun on the other with pile driver bayonets on each and a pair of high explosive smart grenade launchers over each shoulder. The triple legged hard rollers enabled stability on uneven terrain and the near impossibility of knocking the unit over. The classic olive drab paint job completed the military bluntness of its bulky highly armored profile.

"Ladies and gentlemen," I raised two clenched fists in victory, "I present to you the pound for pound king in robotic military equipment, the Welles Arms Sentry Bot!"

People were less enthused about yet another series of war machines, but still gave a very respectful amount of applause. It was a feeling many would be having across Vista Del Ray, Rancho Coronado, and Arroyo as more Sentry Bots began patrols assisted by Mr. Gutsy partners and packs of spider bot scouts to replace the order maintained formerly by 6th Street and then the Army. In a few quiet trials I'd received decent gains via delivering street justice to crimes in progress, and physically taking control of these areas as my own little fiefdom would also provide a steady stream of Street Cred. I'd profit whether gonks get wrecked coming against my robotic police force or not.

The lion's share of my liquidity sank into this rollout, but money spent in pursuit of my dream of level 50 could come and go as much as needed so long as it pushed me closer to the goal. Plus I don't think it matters if my robo-cops are the shit or not, there will be more than enough assholes in this city ready and willing to try to hack, ambush, and outright assault my forces from suicidal street chooms to mercs on the payroll of competing corporations.

It would also chafe the NCPD and the Mayor's Office the same way all the independent authorities in the city do. Just this time it's me doing it. There's no way the Welles Arms and property of Juan D. Welles logos will allow them to assign my glory to someone else. This time for sure my legend shall rise up to the top of the city.

(Flash Forward)

"In a stunning turn of events, Militech has swiftly taken over many of the city's poorer districts using the thin veneer of Night City darling and California's number one start up, Welles Arms. How Militech could possibly believe anyone would buy this obvious rouse is an insult to us all. That is why this news station is calling for a boycott of Militech products…"

"I can't believe this is happening." I muttered in horror as once again the news media robbed me of my legendary credentials, "It's like a cosmic conspiracy to keep me down. A cruel stroke of Fate's pen, inking out my destiny of obscurity."

"It's okay, Big Man." V comforted me with a hand on my thigh as we watched this miscarriage of street justice, "How about I call Gloria over so she can dance while I suck you off."

"My ego is healed and my body is ready."

(Return to present)

Yeah, there's no way they can take this away from me.

"Hermano, after something like this a guy might feel left out in the cold when he doesn't get something extra special this year." Jackie grinned as he pounded on my back, "I imagine the lady friends might feel a bit chilly too."

"I got you Jaquito." I told him as we reentered the bar and I opened one of the briefcases I came in with revealing two gold plated and engraved pistols with mother of pearl grips, "A pair of hand cannons that really make a statement to everyone that sees them and especially those who get to feel them. 12.7mm rounds sup'ed up by three top of the line crunch mods each and some power brakes I stole from Saka and gave a little of Big Juan's love too. Eases up on the recoil and pumps the force through the roof. Custom Armor Piercing bullets for when you want to drop a cyberpsycho from a hundred yards no matter how chromed up he is."

"Damn, bro." Jackie gaped as he lifted the golden guns, illuminating his face in their shining glow.

"But wait, there's more!" I grinned and sent him over some files, "A lifetime subscription to Welles Arms Ammo Club. Two hundred rounds a month per registered weapon, and some information on some custom biotech implants I made. Barely invasive install, doesn't take anything away from the meat, just enhances things. I know you've got that whole… ganic thing going on for ya."

I'd made a series of Fallout Implants that anyone can use, but unlike with me they just boost meat. The series included the Hypertrophy Accelerator, Optics Enhancer, Nociception Regulator, and the Reflex Booster. They ran differently than what I would get out of them, such as the Strength Implant easing the process of gaining and maintaining muscle mass rather than just adding another 20 percent to the stat modifier.

I completely held back the Intelligence, Charisma, and Luck implants due to the way they can change a person's personality over time. That's not something I want to inflict on someone I love, and I'd never give these implants to anyone else.

The last two implants were the Nemean Subdermal Armor, and Phoenix Monocyte Breeder. Between the two Jackie should survive getting gut shot even if he has to haul his ass away from Saka forces, and they are far less invasive than standard subdermal and healing implants. In my opinion these two are mandatory for all your loved one, and since I'm rich I'd gotten them for Gloria and V too. Little expensive for people I'd been dating less than a year, but I'd got eddies that would just get turned into robots otherwise and six months with V was like seven years of sex with a regular chick.

David got a robo-dog and some bulletproof Johnny Silverhand knockoff sunglasses as a part of our ongoing efforts to acknowledge each other's existence without talking to each other. Honestly my patience with kids burnt out sometime in the second grade and I still had ten grades to go by then. Cool kid, sharp between the ears, but every time I look into his eyes it's like he is telepathically projecting 'You're banging my mom! You're banging my mom!' over and over again.

It's super awkward and makes me want to plant more seed in Gloria. I'm sure there's some kind of diagnosis to be made there, but I'm fine just accepting that I'm a complicated man like that.

As Jackie took David for a bike ride to go meet his old boxing coach and Gloria and V grabbed me, I realized that my Christmas Day was far from over.

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I research a lot of stuff to write my stories. Lot of topics that should land me on watch lists. How to write three ways is the one for tonight. Definitely going to need the wife to proof read so it doesn't read like low level scrub porn again.

R-18 Next Chapter. Here is your first warning.

Rule of three for comedy means that Juan won't be executing perfect crimes on accident again. There may be a nightmare sequence about him appealing to the court to get a guilty verdict on his various massacres and conquest.

We are getting close to a new arc of the story. So be exited for that.

And in final news this story got up to number 25 on the Fanfic power ranking and was the 11th fasted growing fanfic on the platform. We were the number 1 performing Cyberpunk fic, finally overtaking Nanites SON despite having almost a third the total views. You all have my sincere thanks for all the love, chooms.

And my biggest thanks goes to those who donate over at

ko - fi . com / jmanm

You guys are the best.