First Light

Saint finished his last final exam that morning. He was exhausted. Three in one week was just too much, he thought. He caught the bus and headed to Zee's place. He had not seen him very much in the last two weeks. Becka had stayed with him. He had decided to stay at his dorm so he could concentrate. Zee was not happy about it at all. Saint smiled to himself. He tried every trick in the book to get him to stay. But he just really needed to study, and he couldn't at Zees. He worried too much about him.

The next semester doesn't start for three weeks. A long break. He sighed and then frowned. He would have loved to see his Mom, but she lived a couple hours away and she traveled a lot for her job. He had called her earlier and they had caught up. She really wanted to meet Zee. Saint told her that he would talk to Zee and she would find out if she could get some time off to come and stay with them for a couple of days. The break would also give him a chance to talk to Zee one on one.

Janis had talked to her professor and he had been very helpful in the best way to approach Zee. He agreed with Janis on her assessment with the limited information she provided. He gave Saint a kind of step by step guideline on what to ask and what not to ask. He would need to guide Zee into talking to him freely. Nothing forced, no pressure. Just honest, straight talking. Saint was nervous but ready. The nightmares were increasing but still no communication from Zee. Saint was afraid the bomb Janis mentioned was not far away.

Saint reached the house and went to find Becka cleaning the kitchen. "Hi Becka, how is everything?" She looked a little frazzled. "Saint, you should really talk to Zee. I don't think he does well when you are gone. He has been restless. He paces the floor and I hear him up during the night. When I ask him if he is ok or needs anything, he just say's no." Saint gave her a little smile and said, "I will talk to him. Go ahead and finish up and head home, I will take it from here and thanks Becka." She gave Saint a hug "No problem, you know I love you guys. Call me if you need me.' She put the broom away and grabbed her things and waved as she left.

He went to his room and put all his things away and peeked into Zee's bedroom. He saw that Zee was asleep so he quietly closed the door and went to the kitchen to see what he could make for dinner. He chuckled to himself, definitely NOT noodles. He pulled out some chicken breasts and placed then on a baking sheet wrapped in aluminum foil. Turned the oven on and set the timer for about an hour and threw in the chicken and started chopping some vegetables. Smiling he thought I may actually be a decent cook someday.

Zee opened his eyes and placed his hands and the edge of the bed and sat up. He stretched some and then stood up and felt his way to the bedroom door. He was getting ready to yell for Becka when he smelled something coming from the kitchen and walked toward it. As he approached, he heard humming and smiled. His love was home. He quietly came up behind Saint. He could hear the sound of a knife against the chopping board. He gently leaned against his back and wrapped his arms around his waist pulling him to his chest. "I have missed you." He said and laid his cheek against Saint's back.

Saint turned around and placed his hands around his face and pulled his face to his. "I missed you too" and placed his lips against Zees. He pulled Zee against him and deepened the kiss wrapping his arms around his back. After a few minutes they leaned apart, breathing heavily, and Saint placed his forehead against Zees. "I hear you have been restless. "Not sleeping well?" "I can't sleep without you." Zee stated. "Really?" he asked gently. "Are the nightmares still bothering you? "Zee sat down at the kitchen table and mumbled, "There worse when you not here."

Saint wanted to ask him more questions, but he remembered the professor's advice. No pressure. He started telling Zee about the last few weeks. How he felt he did on his exams and the fight that Tommy and Jimmy got into over a pizza box. They were both laughing hysterically when Saint finished the story. Zee told him that Mew's place was back up and running and that Joon was doing an awesome job running Zee's place for him. Joon was Mew's Assistant Manager and he had asked him to run Zee's restaurant until he got back on his feet. Saint heard the oven beep that the chicken was done and went in to make their plates. They sat at the table and Saint help guide Zee. "I am impressed." Zee said. "Really?" Saint asked. "Yea, it's not burnt." Zee said and started laughing when Saint smacked him on the shoulder. "Not Funny." Saint giggled.

After dinner, they picked a movie to watch and snuggled on the sofa. As the movie played, Saint would give Zee a visual and tried to explain the scenes on the screen. After about a half hour of this Zee leaned over and whispered. "You suck at this." And started laughing. "Hey, I think I am doing a great job." Saint huffed. Zee threw his arm over his shoulder and laughed again. "Babe, you are not even finishing the description and then you go off on a rampage and you start talking to the screen. I don't think that is giving me a clear visual." Saint pouted. Zee must have felt it because he leaned over and found his lips. Opening his mouth Saint took Zee's tongue and sucked it. They both moaned and Zee whispered. "Bedtime?"

After making love, they showered together and then got into bed. After a little while Saint leaned over and laid his head on Zee's shoulder. Saint knew he was still awake. "Would you like to talk about it? He asked quietly. "No." Zee said. "Can I talk about it? He whispered. "What would you like to talk about? Zee asked. Saint sighed and said "Can I tell you how I felt waiting for you here at the house? Waiting for you at the hospital. Waiting for you to want me again. Waiting for you to let me help you. Waiting to love you." Zee hesitated for a minute and then whispered back "Tell me." And Saint did.

Saint told him how he felt. All the ups and downs from the beginning of their relationship until now. He did not leave a single thing out. The love he felt from the very beginning to the fear waiting at the hospital to the all-encompassing feeling of love he had at this very minute for the man next to him. The total terror that went through him every time Zee would bump into something. How he felt inadequate to help him. Never wanting to leave his side but forcing himself to so that Zee didn't feel smothered.

Zee listened quietly and hugged him tighter. "I am sorry I put you through all that." Saint leaned up and placed his cheek against his. "No, I would not change a single thing that we have been through together. All I want to do is love you. Sight or no sight. I don't care. I just want you and I will take you any way I can." Saint laid his head on Zee's chest and started to cry. Zee wrapped his arms around Saint "Please don't cry. I love you. I promise I will always be by your side." Zee lifted Saint and turned him over and leaned into him and whispered. "Let me show you."