Alright, about time of reviewing this story. I have no clue whether or not there would be any spoiler, but well... here we go...
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First of all, about the plot.
So the plot starts with a climax! Well... kind of. Anyway, the beginning of the story we are presented with the most pivotal, critical if you will, of what driven the story, the causes of all that happened and may it happen later, it would definitely reach this point... the very bottom of the dark sea. Agony and sorrow are the ones starting all. Then later becomes ease as the chapters go on, revealing piece by piece of what will make up for the redblood thread of an unfortunate fate. It's a nice pace of differential approaching... learning that many humans at their first impressions aren't the same humans for their much later impressions. I love it, because it's so relatable with real life experience.
Then about the characters,
Many of whom I like, and a few I dislike. The reason? You'd better read it first for yourself. But to pick a heroine from the underestimated continent namely Africa... this story's never afraid to try something different. As far as I know from reading stories in this sites and others... I saw very rarely for Africa continent to pop up in one's story, even to become the heroine's hometown; since others continents like Asia, Europe, and America already have a lot of appearance, and those continents from which usually the heroine comes. Again... this is a fine addition, and different.
About the all writing things,
Okay so, the pacing in the beginning of story... well, to be honest, I think about the climax beginning, it could've been "polished" a little bit more, as I intrigued to hear more monologue from the suffered one... like when she first woke up in such conditions; her anger, agony, resentment, and an empathic reaction from the first eyewitness. But, regardless of that, the opening depiction in the beginning climax already is top notch. The disturbing and eerie background... though I was expecting more gore... or nevermind that, that's just one of my weird hobbies, like to see characters' suffering... a-ha-ha, I'm not proud of that.
Anyway, then, about transition between scenes... to be honest, I think it's a bit too abrupt, to say the least. I sometimes lost track when the transition happened, like is the scene happened later or earlier or at the same time with the prior scene? It's not confusing, no worries, it just took me to read a few lines before the transition to see the relation between them. I think it's better to put a simple phrase like, "meanwhile"; "later"; "earlier" or more detailed like, "a few hours later/earlier after/before something". It will make the readers easy to catch the flow of the on-going plot. But it's just my opinion though, and maybe it's only me who got confused,
Speaking of confused, about the lack of commas/pauses in narration also sometimes confuses me... not that much fortunately. But still, sometimes without a comma, readers or myself especially, will just... you know... speeding up forward hence the meaning of a sentence can sometimes be differ, and even confusing, yes. Since, commas help the readers figure out which words go together in a sentence and which parts of sentences are most important, and for a place to take a breath.
Last but not least, about grammar
Actually, nothing to say since english isn't my native. So... I dare not to judge. But as far as I understand the language, the grammar in this story is sooo good, and actually uses a lot of rarely-used terms and not those everyday words, and I like how the author describes every characters' voices with sometimes musical terms - I'm something of a musician myself, so to see musical terms used in literature is, well you know, warm my heart... something like that.
And I think that's it... since it's already quite a long review... regardless of those small flaws (based on my mere opinion however), as everybody's books/stories have, this story still is very fun to read and in fact provides very good plot as it has lots of potential to become a critique device to humanity itself, since human's nature is so confusing as heck and oftentimes downright annoying.
Again, this is all fun to read... as I am glad to have a chance to read it. Thank you, Author, for writing this story, despite this story is apparently still in hiatus, I wish someday she/he may continue this masterpiece.
Thank you, Author, for your time writing this story!
