CHAPTER 15

The breath of hope that assails me is almost too violent. It's probably for this reason that I let my heart take control without hesitation.

-Ask me your last question.

Disbelief dances across his features as he tries to decipher my words. But he still ends up whispering the words I'm waiting for.

-Why don't I recognize you anymore?

-Because I no longer know who I am Milan. Since I woke up, I discover a life that is not mine. I don't know anything anymore and yet all I know is that we can't go on waging war on each other. Not us. So... I... I'm sorry for all the hurt I've done to you. I would like to explain everything to you and that we start off on the right foot, but I don't remember anything. I just hope you can forgive me and come back sometime.

My tirade leaves me breathless. I feel my cheeks heat up and I instantly hate myself for letting all this out. Milan buried his head in his hands, taking a long, very long breath. When he lifts his chin, my stomach churns all over the place. My eyes are absolutely unable to turn away from his crooked smile and the little dimple that now adorns his left cheek. I had no idea that I missed this show so much.

-Pushes you.

He grabs his ipod and gestures for me to give him some room. I look at him as if he speaks Chinese to me so well that he rolls his eyes and doesn't hesitate to push me. He sits down next to me, selects a song I don't know, and hands me a headset. Feverish, I put it in my ear. He then encourages me to lay my head against his shoulder. When my skin finds his, I sigh with relief and little by little, the words seep into my head.

Emma,

My mum picked me out some ugly clothes for back to school. Yesterday I tried to cut them with scissors like you told me to do but she surprised me and she scolded me. I am punished. I no longer have the right to go out in the garden after the taste. So if you want to be punished with me, join me later in my room. I stole candies from the convenience store and I hid a bottle of grenadine under my bed.

Milano

Milan,

You always make lots of mistakes when you write but I like you anyway. It was fun hiding under your bed yesterday for a snack, but I think your mom saw me sneaking off. She's always nice, I'm sure she won't scold you. Me, my mom doesn't give me hugs and kisses when she's mad at me. Did you hear how the two idiots called us at recess? Em&M's. I like it, it's funny.

Emma

Emma,

I make mistakes if I want first! I don't want to have the Em&M's but I don't want to be the dumb one. So you'll be yellow and I'll be red. You know, we're going to go rock climbing later, but my mom doesn't want me to participate. She says it's too dangerous. The teacher refused to let me stay home. I have to come to sports and watch you. I'm sure everyone will laugh at me.

Milano

Milan,

If someone tries to make fun of you, I'll trip them up and pull their hair. We don't care what they say. It's okay if you don't go all the way up the wall. I know that you are strong and that you could climb to the top of the sky if you wanted to. Are you coming to my house after school? I'll ask my mom to make pancakes and we'll watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Emma