Chapter 11 His Tenderness.

I wanted to have a romance, I wanted to know what it felt like to be loved. Even if that love was a pretense, I would still be happy.

Because I had little time left.

I didn't have time to think about things that made me sad.

I squinted and said with a smile, "it has nothing to do with you."

I was about to leave after starting my car when Gu Tingchen suddenly opened the door and jumped into the car. His action was extremely dangerous. I parked and shouted at him outrageously, "are you crazy? You may get hurt!"

Gu Tingchen looked fearless, and I stared at him coldly. Just as I was about to get him out of the car, he asked in a convincing manner: "you still love me?"

It was a question, but also an affirmative sentence.

In three months, he would become the groom of another woman, but at this moment, he was asking me such a question in such a convinced manner.

How did he think he could do that?

I realized that essentially it was myself who gave him the opportunity to do this because I had exposed my weakness to him.

If someone was to blame, that would be me, because I loved him too much.

So much that nobody believed me when I claimed not to love him anymore.

"Yes, I love you. Are you disgusted with it?"

I smiled frankly. My words were spoken in anger, but they were also my truth.

Gu Tingchen squinted and told me, "drive back to the villa of Shi family.

"What about you?" I asked,

He said lightly, "I'll be with you."

I said after thinking about it, "no, I don't want to take you to the house of the Shi family."

"Then go to the villa of the Gu family."

¡­¡­

I drove to the villa of the Gu family, and Gu Tingchen held my wrist and led me into the villa after getting off. The house had been cleaned up, and the couches were covered with white fabrics, showing no trace of daily life.

Gu Tingchen left hold of my wrist to remove the white fabrics. I sat on the couch, and he went into the kitchen, getting me a cup of warm water.

I held the cup of water in my hand, feeling confused.

What exactly was he doing?

It was afternoon, the sunshine slowly came through the window, bringing warmth to me. Gu Tingchen did not say anything, but had been busy tidying up in the villa.

Neither of us disturbed each other. Soon, the time slowly came to dusk. As Gu Tingchen came downstairs, he had changed his clothes, wearing a light colored sweater and light colored trousers. His black hair looked a bit wet and disheveled.

He came close and sat opposite to me. I stared at him calmly, and he looked at me gently, asking with patience: "what would you like for dinner?"

Gu Tingchen was handsome, but he had always been cold to me. I had barely seen him so tender.

I shook my head: "I’m not hungry."

He frowned, and lowered his voice: "how can you not have dinner?"

I was in a daze, and then said subconsciously, "you don't have to pretend to be concerned about me."

Gu Tingchen was a bit stunned, and then asked bitterly: "have I always treated you badly?"

Looking back at the three years of marriage, I didn’t think that Gu Tongchen had treated me badly, because I had not been qualified to be treated badly.

Instead, there was only cold violence.

Every time after sex, he would leave the villa without saying a word. Usually I had no chance to see him in other places except in bed, except that year when he forced me to have the baby aborted.

I did hate him, but I also truly loved him.

I managed to get over with that event. Several years after then, my hate had declined, although I had not forgiven him. A lot of things would be gotten over with as one’s life comes to an end, even if they have hurt us like a thorn in the heart at the beginning.

I sighed and smiled, "no, you haven’t."

Suddenly the doorbell rang, and Gu Tingchen got up to open it.

When he came in, I saw some food ingredients he had ordered online.

I asked him curiously, "are you going to cook?"

"Yes. You like carp, don't you?"

I was in a daze, and then nodded, "yeah, I do."

It is not me but Wen Ruyan who liked to eat carp.

Before leaving Wu city, Wen Ruyan had a meeting with me. She looked at me poorly, and said: "do you know why Gu Tingchen likes to eat carp? Because I like it. He would try to make himself like what I like. Shi Sheng, you'll find out later that he's a man who values love. It would be the best thing if he loves you. But if he doesn’t, you would become the most pathetic woman in the world, because he can also be the most ruthless."

At that time, I lied: "who said I liked him? I don’t."

Wen Ruyan asked in dismay, "then why are you marrying him?"

I continued to lie: "speaking of marriage, people at our level attach more importance to the equal social rank between families than to real love. Gu family is suitable for me, and I'm suitable for Gu family. That's all.".

Although jealous that Gu Tingchen loved Wen Ruyan, before he came to the villa every time, I would make a dinner, where there would always be a carp soup. I had always been trying to please him.

I didn't expect him to misunderstand that I liked to eat carps.

But none of these things mattered by this time. It didn't matter what I liked to eat.

Gu Tingchen went into the kitchen to cook while I went upstairs to my room and changed my clothes. Putting on a thin sweater, I went downstairs and took two painkillers with a cup of warm water.

Bored in the living room, I stood by the door of the kitchen, quietly watching Gu Tingchen.

There was a lilac light in the kitchen, which looked mild on him.

He was too tall, and his fingers, which held the handle of the knife, looked pretty while he bent a little to cut the vegetables. Just taking a glance at him, I was absorbed. As I came back to myself, I had mixed feelings because I had never seen such an appearance of him at home.

Just seeing an ordinary action of him, I was absorbed. Somehow, I felt aggrieved.

I had loved him for nine years, within which there were six years when I had a crush on him, but he had never shown any response to my love. I didn’t know if I was really going to spend the rest of my time alone.

But deep down, I was utterly reluctant do end up alone.

¡­¡­

Gu Tingchen made two dishes and a soup.

I tasted a piece of fish slowly. He looked at me with expectations. I smiled lightly, "it's delicious."

"The fish was frozen. It would have tasted better if it’s fresh."

I shook my head: "this is very good already."

Fresh or not, it would make no difference to me.

As long as the dish was cooked for me by him, I would be ecstatic.

I ate very slowly, and Gu Tingchen finished two bowls of rice in a short time. Putting down the chopsticks, he did not urge me on.

Not until I finished dinner did he stood up and tidied up.

When Gu Tingchen came out from the kitchen, I said goodbye. He stayed silent for a while, and looked at me, asking, "why are you leaving in such a hurry?"

I smiled and asked, "should I find it necessary to stay?"

"This place…… used to be your home."

Having lived in the villa for three years, I missed it indeed.

I said with self-mockery, "I once thought that it would be my home, too."

I turned to leave, but my wrist was suddenly clenched.

I looked back at him in bewilderment, "what are you doing? "

"You haven't answered me yet. Why do you want to have a romance?"