Chapter 1: The banana peel

(??? POV)

A figure could be seen sitting in front of multiple screens in a dark room with one light source.

With a controller in his hands and after tapping the buttons on his controller, his fingers are already showing signs of deep swelling.

"Come on, cum on!"

Although his tone appears to be anxious, his facial expression is void of any such emotion.

Pale face, long silky but dirty hair, and eyes that could bulge out of eye sockets soon. If you have to see his appearance, he resembles a super-intelligent character from great anime about detectives where the character dies.

"…I did it. Ha, ha, hahaha…"

As if achieving a lifelong goal, the boy laughs like Perter Griffin, and then he puts down the game controller.

"I have to write it down."

He tosses the controller with another mutter, pulls a keyboard, and starts typing. He then firmly finishes his work and raises his hands.

"…Yes. Ha.. ha, ha, ha…."

And with that, he stands from his chair and walks toward his messy bed before falling into it the soft foam and taking a deep breath.

Although it stinks like rotten eggs and infested meat, the comfort that his body feels is above everything for him.

I am your protagonist, creepy otaku, living but not living, a boy who will likely die and be reborn like nobody in another world.

Hehe, just kidding…

Sigh.

I hate my life.

My name is… ah, I have to check from my ID. Forget about it. It ain't that important.

Parents too. Nobody cares about them! If I had one, I would have a great life and be banging a girl/woman but not a game controller.

As for my nationality, the last time I checked, I was born a white person.

American, European, Russian, but not Australian; I will leave my identity to your imagination for now.

I don't know why but I'm not too fond of Australians. Their accent is hard to understand.

"Hois yo doin' mate?! Oi loike your hair styoile, mate!"

Like, come on, every time it's Oi or mate, they are not even white! They are red!

Cough.

Let's get to my profile.

My skills will be discussed later, but my work is writing the Wiki and walkthroughs for games.

It is my profession to write a wiki about various games with the primary genre of fantasy. After failing in three majors in university and being kicked out of the army, I got this job.

Buzz* Buzz*

It is my phone. I ignore it.

I know the person on the other side of the line, and I want to avoid him/her, you can guess.

Anyway, the game I was playing for the nth time is called "The World is still beautiful."

It is an otome game, and as the name suggests, the scenario of this world is crap. Why is this crap? I will tell you later.

An otome game is usually a genre that targets the female audience, just like any harem game targets your local degenerates. In this game, the protagonist, the female lead, a.k.a, has to choose one of many male leads to progress in the story.

As a dude with no interest in other dudes, why am I playing this game?

Because it is a game and for writing Wiki or walkthrough, I had to play this crappy love game that makes zero sense.

I mean, it does make sense since it has a shallow rate of plot holes, but WHAT KIND OF HEROINE MAKES A HAREM OF DUDES?!

Yes, in this game, the female lead has a way to make her harem. Although it was the last route, the saint-like girl becomes a slut for handsome boys.

Well, it doesn't matter to me.

Anyway, this is an RPG-style game where you have to raise the level of the female lead and the targeted male lead to face the last boss.

Even though it is an Otome game, it is popular among the masses of both genders as the story writing and graphics are top-notch. It was made by content writers and producers from different countries, so the game is pretty famous worldwide.

If we talk about the mechanics, this game is challenging to complete without the help of 'Cash Items.'

'Cash Items' are like cheats in this game that help the player avoid many death flags or dead ends and reach the happy ending or true ending based on the player's choice.

Since the game is cheap and almost anyone can buy it. The developers mainly generate income through the option of 'Cash Items.'

'Cash Items' comes in different tiers, and I have to buy everything to create a good walkthrough.

The difference between completing this game with and without 'Cash Items' is the game's length. It would take at least ten days to complete a single route if a player spends 3 hours each day and avoids every death flag.

Whereas roughly 2 or 3 days are enough to complete the game with the help of 'Cash Items.'

The cash items could also help players for later games from the developers.

"Uggg, I gotta take a dump."

I get from my bed and somehow make my way towards the toilet.

There I see the love of my life.

Electronic Japanese toilet that can clean your sh*t automatically.

Unlike my room, my toilet is a definition of neatness and grace.

"Ah… This feels so good~."

Seriously, guys, 10K dollars is worth for taking a dump in comfort.

Buzz* Buzz*

My phone again starts to ring, and I ignore it.

Anyway, the characters include the main protagonist, a commoner girl but later adopted by a noble, and then her intelligence brings her to the prestigious academy of the empire.

She later meets many male leads and develops the desired route. Even though the desired male lead could be anyone, they will all help the female lead to climb the ladder since the 'Confession' is the last part.

However, the difficulty lies in her offense. Since the female lead is a Healer who has yet to become a Saintress, she is frail at the start and will entirely be dependent on the targeted male lead to save her ass.

Male leads also have various skills and stats based on physical or magical offense and defense.

They have their personalities, but they have the same generic trait to flirt with a female lead that the player would ignore later.

Then the main final boss is the villainess of the game.

She is your typical ruthless and arrogant young lady who would often try to kill the female lead on her journey.

However, this is where the game turns into crap.

Why? Because there isn't a single ending where she can come out in one piece. She would either be killed, hanged, executed, married to a countryside noble, assaulted then killed, or forgotten by the story only to be mentioned in the credits scene that a Void sucked her in.

Even in dead ends, her end will always be worse.

Her fans were very disappointed in the developers playing dirty on her. She was even placed number one in rank in a poll, yet developers didn't give a crap to the public opinion.

And

Buzz* Buzz*

My phone rings again, but this time I pick up.

[Hi~.]

And I hang up.

It rings again, and with a deep sigh, I pick it up.

[What's your problem, dude? Your best friend is calling, and you are hanging up. It made me feel sad~.]

As you judge from his tone, his sexual orientation is messed up.

He 'used' to be my childhood friend, but later on, his sexual orientation took a wrong turn.

He was not like that.

I don't know when but he once had sex with a girl, and in next day, he decided to become a full-time homosexual. I wouldn't have hated him much, but this piece of sh*t tried to hit on me after getting me drunk and taking me to a motel.

Though I had avoided the tragedy by beating him right in his still existing bean bag, it still left a trauma within me. Now, I hate alcohol.

But since I am turned into a loner, he is the only one who keeps in touch with me. He is also one of the players of this game and keeps nagging on the updates and patch-ups.

"What do you want?"

[Hey, hey! Just saw the walkthrough update. Is it true that you unlocked the hidden Villainess' Butler ending?]

Now his question brings one character that remains mysterious though out the game.

It is the villainess' butler.

He was a mysterious character who appeared in the story from time to time. Since the villainess is female and noble, she is talented but weak. So it was her butler who provided the villainess with all sorts of evil plans and power-ups in the villainess' revenge.

Several girls are his fans and demand his ending or make him a hidden male lead.

However, the developers remain silent on his route.

So I was trying to play this game repeatedly to unlock his route and recently unlocked it.

It is only a rumor, but his ending also contains a villainess good ending and the female lead's 'dry' ending.

Instead of the villainess, he might also be the hidden last boss of the game in one route that developers mentioned.

But I suspect he is the main last boss in his route, just like certain purple head kohai.

In most full routes, the villainess gains massive power after killing her butler, so he has to have something still hidden.

"Yeah, but I just unlocked the route and have yet to complete the game, so don't ask me anything."

[Awe~, hey, how about this? Should I come to your place? We can complete the game together, no? What do you say?]

"You sure have the guts to ask me. Last time you brought a BL game. Do you think I have forgiven you?"

Otome game is one thing, but BL is another. I have hated that genre all my existence.

I would have killed this piece of sh*t, but he is the only person that I talk to.

[Boo~, I thought you might be interested since you also play otome games. In one walkthrough, you also wrote about orgy in the game.]

I smack my head after I am reminded of 'that' scene. Although this game is PG 13 oriented, there are some sex scenes that you can unlock after confirming the ID and paying a little more.

He must be talking about the harem route where the female lead goes for all the male leads. That route is trendy among girls since the protagonist can get all the males leads and even gets a chance to perform an orgy. And since it is meant to entertain dirty-minded girls, I don't think I have to explain anything further.

And of course, I have to unlock this part to write the walkthrough and play it thoroughly if there was a hidden change or death flag.

"If you are done with your crap, I am hanging up."

[Wait, what the heck, dude?! I am on my way to your home. Are you eating now?]

"I am taking a crap."

[That's sexy~!]

"…you are driving, right? I hope your car gets crashed and you die."

It was my genuine prayer to god, and I hung the phone with that.

After finishing my work, I come to my room and switch on the light.

"Sigh* Looks like I have to clean this room first." I shake my head.

Even a dumpster might look better than this place that I call my room.

I usually play games or do my work in the dark to escape this reality, but after not finding a single place on the floor that was not covered in garbage, I decided to clean it.

"You know what I got to get my life back. I will clean this place, tidy my appearance and go search for a girl. I have enough of this life."

It was enough of me. I am tired and want to go out. Even a neet needs to see sunlight.

As I make up my mind, I begin cleaning this room.

If there is one skill that I master, it should be my cleaning skills.

And within no time, my room is sparkling with glitters.

I also took a shower in the meantime and am ready to go out.

It is easy to pick some girls as long as you are white and don't have a pimple. However, I am unsure of my Lil bro since I don't remember when I trained my PP last time.

But I still have to finish the butler's route.

"Let's complete one part first." I take a step further, only to notice one banana peel on the floor.

For some reason, my spidey senses felt something odd. Meh, it's just banana peel. Only an idiot will fall from it.

I am about to pick it up when I hear my phone ringing on the table.

"Now what he wants!?"

Frowning, I shake my head and take a step further to pick up my phone instead.

All of a sudden, I find myself in the air. Why? Because I am freaking stepped on that one freaking banana peel!

And just as my neck hits the side of my bed, a cracking noise escapes from my neck as I crash on the surface.

I couldn't even moan for my upcoming death when my consciousness was sucked into the darkness.

Guess I died.