Who I am exactly

Ewen took the time to explain to his mother how he ended up at Aim's house while avoiding giving the juicy details. His mother couldn't stop throwing sparkling glances of joy toward her son, who told her everything with such enthusiasm that she felt melted from the inside. Her mother feels good to see him so happy, talking about his meeting with Aim. She feels like he's always known him and hopes secretly that this relationship will last for centuries.

" Oh, my beautiful darling, I am so delighted for you, my treasure, and above all, do not hurry. Go slowly and surely. I don't want you to suffer either, OK? "

"Love wounds are the most terrible, but sometimes they are worth it." Depending on who you share your feelings with, we'll never know what we're missing out on if we don't experience it. When the time comes, please don't hold back; live your life plainly, and don't hesitate to let the other person know he is important to you. "

" I imagine that, yes, I will try to live differently... but tell me, mom, have you ever experienced a love wound? I am not talking about your setbacks with my father but before him. "

"Oh! Who knows? " She said, with a sigh...

"Go ahead, tell me. I want to know everything. "

" Oh, it's nothing sweet. You don't have to be excited to hear my story. "

" Whatever, I want to know," Ewen replied eagerly. Even if he had experienced all those troubles with his love affair, he was never hurt. And he wants to know a little more about his mother.

He wants to know if her life wouldn't be better without him and his father ruining it for her. Ever since he witnessed the scene with the handsome gentleman at the charity gala, he can't stop wondering how she would be with someone looking at her like that.

" I loved someone, but he was so different and very particular, a little complex even, I can say, that I couldn't approach him. I stayed behind, nurturing my love and loving him from afar, until one day, this girl came for him, and I lost him. I didn't know it was easy to talk to him; it wasn't straightforward. I think I was missing what it took to approach him. He had a higher status than mine, but that wasn't the problem, and he didn't have any friends; he was a nerd, as they said. I was just a coward. That's what it was. "

" In college, I ran into your father, and here I am. For a while, I completely forgot about that first love. Then your father started doing his stupid things, behaving like the jungle king as if he had all the rights and the others didn't. That's how I found myself wondering; if it was the other one, how would it have been today? "

" So, it is for this reason that it is always better to try instead of sitting back and watching things as spectators for fear of being ridiculed. If it doesn't work, you can say at least I tried, and then you will quickly move on to something else without feeling trapped in the past. " She explained calmly to her son.

" Oh, I understand. I'm sorry, mom. I think you're right about regrets. I woke up this morning with this feeling of well-being. I had never felt that before, and I danced without knowing it. My body wanted it, and my brain answered his command. I want to experience this every day. I want to feel this happy every morning, every hour, and every minute of the day. "

His mother looked at him with tenderness; her eyes were filled with unshed tears. It's been a long time since she saw her son smile and talk so much. She found her joyful and loving son back; it's been a while since he stopped being himself. She wants to kiss him but holds back, giving him space.

Now she doesn't have to worry too much about him, and the fear that one day she will wake up and he won't be there begins to dissipate in her.

She was afraid that one day he would say, "Enough is enough." She now knows her fears will never come true; her son is more robust than that, and he has someone to talk to besides her now.

She took a deep breath, grabbed Wen's hand, and dragged him to a jewelry store.

"You are going to splurge, mom," he chuckled as he let her lead him.

" Not really." She replied childishly, "We will say," "I will control myself."

" You know very well when it comes to you and jewelry, the word "control" is obsolete."

She laughs heartily at her son's words while approaching the windows. " It's not you who will intimidate me, honey, and that is not likely to change now."

....

We started window shopping like two teenagers two hours ago, after lunch in an Italian restaurant. We still haven't found anything to set our sights on. After all, what's important is that we're together.

I put a hand around her shoulders and pulled her to me. Without her high-heeled shoes and strict and austere hairstyle, she's just an adorable and fascinating little woman who looks about my age, nothing more.

With her light make-up, hair falling on her back smoothly, and this teen's outfit, she has nothing of a mother or a corporate woman.

This is where our shopping day begins. We bring out chains, earrings, and anklets. I like it when she wears them with pumps and all that stuff.

I was checking out pearls when a pair of wedding rings caught my attention. I smiled; maybe one day I'll buy a pair.

" You can take it," said my mother, who followed me. Her gaze lingered on me like a passionate girlfriend.

"You're crazy!" I exclaimed hastily, with a blush that I hid from her.

" I am optimistic. "Who knows, one day, or even today, you will be able to offer it to him."

" I have to get away from you; otherwise, you will contaminate me with your madness. It was only yesterday that he told me about all this. " " Yeah, that's official now; you're crazy, mom."

" So what? Love does not wait; love takes action. From what you told me, he's possessive, so knowing my boy's charms, it won't last long before he steals you, even if I'm not ready to see you leave me. "

" Mom! Shut up. People are listening to you there. "

The salesman following us approached us to help us with our choices and decided to add his two cents to my mother's delusion.

" We have other much prettier and more stylish models that you will surely like, Mr. and Mrs. Schroders." We keep them for our customers who already have an idea in mind. If you want, we can take them out for you. I can bring you some. "

"No, it's not necessary." Thank you. I just want some bracelets. " I hasten to answer before my mother says even more foolishness.

I think she is in the mood to do and say stupid things without weighing their consequences. I know she's happy for me, but that's no reason for her to think about throwing me at a stranger she only knows by name.

" Bring everything you had, the nicest ones, please."

When this voice rose behind me, my heart started beating at a crazy rate. I had a start, or rather, I jumped. I almost got my head stuck in the golden glass jewelry display in front of me.

This time it's the right one. I'm going to die of a heart attack today. I didn't dream. I heard his voice, of course. Is it his voice?

My mother rushed towards me when she heard the shock produced by the box falling from my hand.

Distraught at the expression on my face, panicked tears began to rain down on her beautiful face. I tried to tell her I was fine but to no avail when someone shoved her around like she was invisible, separating me from her.

Quincy? Yes, that's right! It's him.

He placed an authoritative hand on my chest with a little precaution, as if this single gesture could break me into pieces.

He is soft, firm, and authoritative all at the same time. He lifted my chin with the other hand, pushing me to look at him with that same authority and assurance.

"Breath with me, " he said softly and repeated after me one, two, five, eight, nine, eleven..."

And he continues like this with a series of digits and numbers dictated in an unimaginable disorder. I started to think, "What is this madness?" I completely forgot about my unease.

I did what he ordered me to do despite the craziness of the situation. And little by little, strangely too, I feel my pulses returning to normal.

" Why do you always panic when you hear my voice or see me?" He whispered when he was sure I was back to normal.

" I was not panicking. You always tiptoe and arrive when we least expect to see you. " I whispered back at him.

" Did I interrupt something that I shouldn't have?" he asked, changing the tone of his voice completely.

" No, that's not what I said..." I hastened to add, still whispering. But that didn't change much since he'd already turned cold as a stone.

My mother, who still can't believe having been erased abruptly from the equation, was left speechless staring at Aim. She's confused. She doesn't know what reaction she must have. She doesn't have any idea who he must be either.

To my surprise, he's not wearing that wig that I'm starting to hate when I see him with his beautiful hair that smells as good as the owner.

He has styled them like the last time, lifted and tied in a bun that lets out flyaways that make him irresistible. All the people in the shop have eyes only for him, no one moves, they have all frozen even the salesman who offered to bring me the wedding rings does not move.

He wore a white shirt unbuttoned on his chest, which let us get a glimpse of his beautiful muscular body. His pecs quivered under the rhythm of his breathing sensually. I want to button this shirt until he can't breathe anymore. He may not know it, but dressing like this puts him in the spotlight.

And those striped Italian pants that hug every muscle in his body, his firm buttocks, his thighs, and shit... Am I jealous?

He rolled up his shirt sleeves to the elbow and did the same for his pants; he rolled up his feet just a bit, exposing his ankles to finish with a pair of flat white tennis shoes. He knows how to dress that one; he's not my poor Zack.

I don't know why, but my whole being wanted only one thing to shout to these people to look elsewhere, but I somehow control this mad desire and this furious madness that seethes inside me. But what's calmed me a little bit is that he only has eyes for me while a dozen people stare at him.

My mother finally came out of her stupor, realizing she had been ejected like shit. If I may use the expression, she approached me and took my arm to move me away from the intruder, who, by his mere presence, made people forget what they were doing.

Not an hour ago, everyone here except me, my mom, and the vendors took our time admiring and enjoying the jewelry. Everyone else seemed rushed like they had something on the stove that might catch fire if they didn't hurry.

But now, no one seems to be in a hurry; it looks like the oven has magically turned off, and they don't have to scramble to finish first. They were staring enviously at my frightened little cat, who had turned into a real lion.

As my mother pulled me away from him, he turned sharply towards the salesman, and my heart skipped a beat at his movement. His face closed instantly.

I can't read any emotion on that beautiful face hidden under those expressionless gray-green eyes. I'd know how he felt if he didn't wear those damn contacts. His eyes don't lie.

He paid me no attention like I was some useless crap tossed in a corner while a minute ago he was taking care of me sweetly. I feel something is wrong, but he is too strong to let it show.

As he asked one of the sales assistants to bring him the other wedding rings, my mother, like fury, dragged me to the other end of the room to create not only a little distance between us but rather a chasm.

I wanted to talk, but nothing came out. I didn't intend to introduce him to my mother so soon, but I didn't want him to ignore me when we had just agreed to be boyfriends. Luckily, I never said what he looked like.

But damn it! What exactly is he doing here? If I understand correctly, he seldom leaves his house; why did he have to do it today and come here anyway?

I can't concentrate anymore. I looked at him sideways, watching his every move, and glared at the other people watching him. I will go crazy if this continues.

I unconsciously stepped toward him when a girl tried to touch his hand, but he was faster than me; he pulled his hand away and walked away from the girl without even looking at her. She smiled stupidly, glancing around her.

My mother reminded me to stop looking at him. "You already have a boyfriend," she said.

She knows I'm looking at him because she, too, can't take her eyes off him, and he, on the other hand, ignores all the staring at him as he does so, of course, on campus.

Luckily for him, I don't know how I would act if he paid them the slightest attention in return.

I mentally scold myself for those thoughts flowing inside my head. What are these stupid and delusional ideas? How exactly would you have reacted, Ewen, hm? When did I become so petty? I don't know the response to those questions.

"I'm not. I don't even see him. What are you talking about?" I answered without taking my eyes off his back, and the salesman seemed to enjoy talking to him.

My mother whispered, "You're literally drooling; I'll wipe it for you if you want."

She can't be serious for a moment. I think while shaking my head but cannot take my eyes off him.

....

I left the apartment with the idea of ​​buying myself these rings without Cody knowing, but it was in vain because he sent me a list of the best jewelry stores in town and their locations.

This show-off, he just wants to prove to me that he knows me better than me and that he is partly me in some ways.

I upset him when I told him Ken was only mine. Funny enough, he sent me the list with an ah ah ah. I don't know what that means, but I feel it was important to him.

I could have ordered it, but since I would have to go out as Nodge asked me to, I took the opportunity to go shopping by myself like a grown-up pup.

Indeed, I can't force him to stay in the abbey with me all the time we will see each other. I have to go out and get ready in some way. So I took the Huracan and let Wolf rest. I know he won't do it like last night, but I wanted to drive.

I am determined to get back behind the wheel; I don't plan to bring my driver to my dates after all.

I was shocked when I noticed him with this girl who won't let go of him for a second. I see all the people around him are clingy, and he lets himself be touched by them. Pff...

I stayed behind to observe them from afar, for a moment wondering if I should go into the jewelry store or not. But it was too much to see them so complicit in whispering things and smiling like they were alone in the world.

I was in denial when I thought Zack was the only person I would have to deal with. I knew perfectly well that he would react like that for sure if I surprised him, so I did it, not being able to bear to see him chatting with this middle-aged lady who was having fun pretending to be a teenager in those kids' clothes. She couldn't fool me.

Moreover, I did not know that he liked the company of older people. I don't know why, but it had a funny effect on me, and I was not too fond of it. So I decided to buy these rings for real and give them to him, no matter what impression it will give him of me, I'm ready.

The seller arrived with the parts I requested.

He placed them in front of me and gave me time to check them while observing my every gesture with evident admiration.

I liked it, and I'm delighted he looked at me with so much tenderness. At least he's not the only one to show off in front of this woman.

I took my time. I asked questions to get the young salesman to talk to me, and he was pretty interesting, but worst of all, he was shy. He's not like that cheeky kid named Ewen. I noticed the badge on his black shirt and addressed him directly by name.

"Alex, what would you have advised me?" I asked him, looking him straight in the eye. He looked down to avoid my gaze with a cute little smile.

" In theory, a wedding ring is for life, so it's best to choose a metal that can survive all these years of passion and love! I recommend that you choose an ultra-strong metal like gold. It is a lasting metal, and yellow gold and rose gold keep their color for a lifetime. "

"On the other hand, the most wear-resistant metal is still platinum, which retains its shine even more despite the time."

"Be aware, however, that the wear of the metal is seen mainly on wide wedding rings, such as a ribbon wedding ring. Wear is less noticeable on a thin men's wedding band, such as a half-ring wedding band. "

"These metals have a fairly high price, and platinum is the most expensive metal of all." But platinum is for you if you want the best of the best. "

" But hey, love is priceless, right?" he finished his interesting intro with a sweet chuckle.

"Indeed," I heard myself answering him, "I want to see the platinum collection you had."

"One moment, sir," he said politely with his cute smile. He escaped through a door at the back of the room to reappear with two other people older than him and the collection in question.

The two older monitors watch me as if trying to unravel a mystery. I don't pay much attention to them and turn all my attention to Alex with the contents of his jewelry boat.

We looked at the different masterpieces with him, but the one that attracts me the most is a unique piece, while I am looking for a couple of rings. I put aside the individual work. After asking Alex if he could try it on for me, he had beautiful little hands like a particular person's.

As I expected, it suits him perfectly.

"We have a new collection of La Brise d'Hiver, and I can assure you that each piece is rare and of unparalleled beauty. It is essentially made of couples' rings, which are the most costly. Do you want to take a look at them? " Said one of the old men who had accompanied Alex.

"Please." They probably finished analyzing me because they looked at me differently now.

" You can come with us if you don't mind," said the other.

" I'll wait here," I replied politely.

"One moment, sir," he replied enthusiastically before taking a U-turn.

I was leaning against the counter, with Alex keeping me company while the other two went to get me the collection in question.

I try to converse and train myself to be friendly and human-like towards others.

"How long have you worked here, Alex?" He smiles before answering shyly.

"It's been two years since I worked here part-time; I'm a student, sir."

"Do you like this work?"

"Yes, I feel closer to my object of study as well."

"Let me guess, do you study anything related to minerals, gems, or precious metals? "Gemmology, to be more precise."

He smiled, revealing pretty well-aligned white teeth before answering.

" Indeed, sir! I study gemology. You guessed right. " I return his smile. Alex is a wise and well-mannered person. It seems to me that I could talk to him without getting bored. As they said earlier, the two characters are back with the " La Brise d'Hiver" collection. And I'm not disappointed.

Alex and I looked at the pieces. We discussed the material and components of some of them, and I found a pair that I like very much, a sober and discreet men's ring enhanced with a small two-millimeter stone that gives it a touch of sparkle; it is of the half-rush type.

Alex was a great help to me, and he knows what he does well. I liked him; he is a good gemologist and has a passion. If one day I need the help of a gemologist, I will think of him.

"So, Alex, what's your last name?" I take these two; thank you for your help. "

" My full name is Alexandre Williams," he said. "It was a pleasure to help you, sir..."

He trailed a little on the sir, indicating that he too wanted to know my name.

" Williams," I answered him with a chuckle.

He smiled and opened his eyes wide without commenting on our last names. At the same time, the two gentlemen packed the three rings in royal blue velvet boxes.

" What color would go best with that one, Alex?" I indicated to him the unique piece that I had chosen.

" The green! Did you like green, Mr. Williams?"

"I'm not against it, and you?"

"I think it's beautiful," he said.

"Then it will be a green box, please."

And the two hurried to change the blue case for a green one. After they finished, I handed them my black card, which Alex took from my hands, while the other two hesitated a little, as if I had given them a venomous snake.

They put them in black cardboard packaging that bears the name of the jewelry in gold letters. I correct that they should put them separately, which they did without blinking or asking questions. I asked Alex to make the percentage deduction to take off their tip. He made the payment, and I signed the receipt.

I don't have any cash on me. I never have any. It's something I have to change too. I took my purchases and headed for the exit, pretending not to notice Ewen, who was watching me. I had almost arrived at the doorway when Alex joined me.

"Sir!" He said, a few steps behind me. Not only does he avoid approaching me too closely, but he is also discreet. This child has what it takes to be part of my team. I turned slowly to face him. I admit I took my time. And I took a few steps towards him.

"Alex!" I whispered in a light breath.

" Uh, excuse me for disturbing you, but you had forgotten your card," he said, breathing painfully. Like Ewen, I dominated him by a few good inches.

Maybe it's what he just noticed that makes him so nervous. And he blushed hard. He's worse than Wen when he blushes. He just lacks his cheekiness...

" OK!" said a sarcastic voice slowly to our right.

Alex ran a hand through his hair, which he placed behind his left ear, and handed me the card with the other hand, a little shaky. So, I don't know if I'm scaring him or if I'm intimidating him. We turned around simultaneously in the direction of the voice that had just interrupted us.

"May I know what is going on?" A fired-up Ewen asked.

"How can I help you?" I replied without considering the fact that he was upset. I saw him blushed and troubled, but this was the first time he was angry. Why is he mad?

" Are you OK?" I asked. "Your eyes are popping out of their sockets, sir," I told him without mockery.

" Don't make fun of me. What are you doing? Do you know each other? " He raged, but in some ways, he kept his voice down.

" Alex is a salesman here, and he was the one helping you when I came in here when you almost had a stroke."

" Whose fault was it?" he banged, even more, pissed off.

"Sir," says Alex, in a small voice, "your card, I have to go back to my post."

" Oh, I'm sorry, Alex. Thank you."

By the time I could take the card from his hands, Ewen brutally snatched it from him, which left me speechless, and poor Alex hurried to get out of his field of vision as quickly as possible. I didn't even have time to apologize.

" What are you doing?" I whisper to him, leaning a bit towards him. He ran a nervous hand through his hair and pulled it back, which freed his beautiful face, leaving it exposed to me.

He is all pink now, and black suits him very well.

And his mouth, this mouth, which offered itself to me as an offering and which bewitches me.

The lady who didn't take her eyes off us joined us before this situation turned sour. If he had only opened his mouth, I would have kissed him. I don't know why, but I don't have any discomfort or control regarding this little rascal.

"Excuse me, young man," said the woman. "Forgive me for taking a little longer to thank you for helping my baby."

My baby! The word resounds in my head like the sound of a lousy drum. I straighten up abruptly and leave the jewelry store in haste.

"Mom!"

" What else did I do? I just wanted to calm this tension between you two. You behaved like a rotten kid, badly raised, spoiled, and jealous while you had a boyfriend. You know each other, right?

"Yet I do not remember that you told me about such a friend, as sophisticated as he is attractive. Of your few friends, you're the only one with such charm. "

"Mom!"

" What again? You saw him, right? That's not a human. "

Tired of all this, I rushed to look for Aim, hoping I would find him, and my mother was about to follow me, but she was called back by the salesman taking care of her. I thank him wholeheartedly.

Thank God he wasn't too far, and I spotted him a few centimeters away. Maybe it's because of the people gathered in front of the perfumery that he was still there.

I ran in his direction and found a disoriented Aim. I gently touched his arm, calling him for fear of rushing him. I don't want to aggravate the situation.

He recognized my voice and let his guard down a bit as he opened his eyes. I took his hand and pushed through the gathering to bring him out of this hellish crowd.

It's a reputable perfumery that discounts all the products they have in stock, so I'm not telling you how crowded it is; the majority are girls.

When we arrived at the other end of the great hall, he was in all his states. He was no longer this confident and imposing young man who made the jewelry store vibrate but a lost child. I gave him a push and hugged him on a whim as best I could.

" Oh, my baby!" I heard myself say aloud. It was already out; I had no way of bringing these words back into their bag. I froze for a few seconds, holding my breath, afraid to move after what I had just said carelessly.

Being with my mother all day has affected me; the sweet little words will flow like syrup from my mouth. He didn't move, he didn't say anything, but I felt his muscles relax more, which relieved me. I let out a sigh secretly.

"So I'm your baby?" He asked me like a kid.

"Uh..." I said, my head hidden in his chest without the courage to raise my head to look at him or say anything else.

"So why is this woman calling you her baby too?"

" Because I have the right to call him that." I am his mother. "

I heard a sweet woman's voice behind him. I jumped back out of his embrace even though I was the one with my arms tied around his waist.

" Mom, it's not good to surprise people like that." "You scared me," I said while shaking a little; I was not ready for that.

He turned slowly to face my mother; she was smiling a little too much. I don't recognize this creepy woman at all.

" Mom, stop smiling like that," I whisper while standing next to her, trying to keep my cool to make the introductions.

"Uh, Aim, this is my mother, Kiara. Uh, mom, this is Aim. "

The situation became awkward. My mother gaped, staring at Aim, who didn't know how to react. I pulled on my mother's cardigan to get her out of her bubble. She shook her head and came to herself.

"I'm sorry, Aim. It's nice to meet you, and please forgive me for treating you like this. I never expected to see..." She couldn't finish the sentence, so I cut her off by calling her.

"Mom!"

"The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Schröder."

"Oh, please call me Kiara, and when you're ready, you can call me something else like m…."

"Mom, will you please stop?" I almost cried.

" OK, I'll stop!" She replied, smiling brightly, "Excuse me a moment, Aim."

With that, she grabbed my wrist and dragged me away, getting more excited. "So it's really him?" She asked me with excitement. Have you seen this perfection, this caricature? I feel like you haven't told me everything. " How did you manage to get his attention?"

" Mom, will you please stop?" I begged. And what do you mean by " how did I manage to get his attention?" I don't deserve him; it's that, right? "

"Hey, stop saying nonsense. It wasn't what I meant." I'm the happiest woman in the world. I have two beautiful sons all to myself. My boy has the charm to attract him. " She tried to correct her shot, but I know she didn't mean it.

"I'm taking the car. "You can stay with him if he has no other plans," she told me when she realized I was not ready to forget what she had just said.

" Actually, no, I was going to ask you if I could take him away from you if you were done with your shopping, of course.

" We're done. My mother said, "You can take him as long as he returns to me safe and sound."

"Thank you, Madam."

"At your service, sir."

" Give me the key," she ordered, turning to me.

"Why didn't you ask my opinion?" I am right here..."

He didn't let me finish talking; he replied in one of those tones that he must surely have learned somewhere because it's too much.

" Can I ask you to come with me on our first date?" he asked seductively.

My mother hung on his every word like a groupie.

And all of a sudden, I just wanted one thing to be alone with him. I think I'm jealous and did not expect this from me. I am not myself at all. It's not me.