I Want Him To Be My Possession Too

I really have a boyfriend.

I was too happy and too embraced at the same time. I can't believe Aim kissed me like that in front of my mother. God only knows what movie she's playing in her head now.

I was embarrassed that my mother had to witness this moment. I was happy because Aim was not afraid of how others looked at him.

I wanted to kiss him back, but I couldn't. I was terrified, paralyzed with my mother and the other people without talking about my surprise. It was not possible for me. But in my head, I was running around with devastating joy.

I don't think I need to be afraid of the day he will cross paths with my father. He has shortcomings in human relations, but he's not lacking in guts.

But that's certainly not going to make me forget that he flirted with this salesman right before my damn eyes. He sure has got a lot of nerve.

I would have put the little brat in his place if it weren't for my mother. And the seller was literally drooling under his spell. What did he think about acting like that in front of others? It was like waving a bone under the muzzle of a hungry dog.

The worst thing is that he was in his skin with no sign of nervousness or panic. He was fine, talking to him peacefully like a professional. I was amazed; I really wanted to make him understand my thoughts on this subject.

And I think I'd better wait until we park the car. I'll wait until we're out of the vehicle.

It's been a while since we left the parking lot. So I'm going to have to wait until we park so we can talk and maybe sit down to talk about this image that bothers me. I don't want to be distracted by talking to him.

He left me the wheel of his Huracan without me wanting to drive it. He must surely remember the excitement that took hold of me when I saw them in his parking lot.

I don't want to share my moments with anyone else. Ethan needs to stop his seduction classes; otherwise, I'll deal directly with him. If we have to go out together, it will be just the two of us. No way he's being sweet and lovely to anyone but me.

And the other one was quite pretty.

If only I had listened to my mother. I would have bought these damn rings and passed them to him with force if necessary, but I didn't, and that will be too much. Not to mention that he has much more money than me; I don't want him to think I want to grab his fortune instead of his heart.

I have been in this situation many times. There is no question that I screwed up my chance to be with him for stupidities and futilities.

And with the way I find myself marveling at his gems, it won't take him long to conclude that these are the things I care about, and I don't want that.

As crazy as it sounds, this is the first time I've felt the need to possess someone with so much rage. I want him to be mine and mine alone.

I feel secure and well when I am with him. The way he looks at me and talks to me, I want it all to stay that way, and I don't want anyone else to take advantage of it but me. He said I was his possession. Well, he, too, is mine.

Is it a sin to be possessive of your boyfriend? Not just your boyfriend, but to be possessive of someone who makes you feel special just by laying eyes on you?

Is it selfish of me to want to possess someone with all his faculties? I know it is better to speak of possession when it comes to material goods and not in the case of a person who can speak, breathes and has his own will. But I can't think otherwise since I saw him with this boy named Alex. I want it to be like this.

Who doesn't like that? And that's what I feel when he looks at me. What will happen if one day he comes to look at another the same way he looks at me?

Oh, Wen! Can you stop this? It's just the beginning. Why do you think about those things? Don't you think you're overdoing it?

Why not think about how to improve and push this relationship to blossom? Live in the moment and be content with what you have now. That's just what you need, my little guy.

What if he's not that different from your other relationships, and if he sees you as something he can own and not as a person? After all, you have proof that he likes to collect beautiful things. Think about that, my friend. I hear my inner yelling at myself mentally.

OK, I'm going too far; I need to stop thinking. Why not stick with what I have now instead of complicating my life with these thoughts?

He's my boyfriend now; I think it's a good start. Am I wrong to take my head with these questions?

The thought of him being my boyfriend makes me smile stupidly. He should have been watching me as I was lost in thought while trying to focus on the road because he intervened the minute that smile passed my lips.

" Why are you smiling?"

" I'm not smiling."

"Oh yeah, you are," he insisted.

"Oh no," I replied, using the same tone as him.

" If I told you it's true, I'm not lying."

I perceived the change in his voice, so I chose to answer him differently to avoid upsetting him for nothing.

"I was just lost in thought, nothing to do with you."

"Ah well, then I am the cause of this smile," he answered.

I cooed. "I told you, no."

"That's exactly what makes me think otherwise. "You are accusing yourself of saying so."

" OK, agreed. I was thinking of us, and the fact that I told myself that you are my boyfriend pleased me. "

"I like it too!" He said in a flirtatious tone.

"So why were you flirting with that boy?"

To tell you the truth, I don't know how I ended up asking this question. But it's already out of my mouth, so let's talk about it.

Damn you, Ewen! I would assure you that the question is gone by itself. I completely forgot what I had said to myself, that I would talk about it once we arrived at our next destination and let time prove itself. But why is this question coming out of my mouth?

"When did I do this? Which boy? " Aim replied with an inhuman calm.

"You know very well what I'm talking about." I almost cried, feeling that he was playing with my nerves.

"Why are you raising your voice?" I heard him ask me, completely changing his tone, which is usually affectionate with me.

" Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

I didn't realize I was changing my tone. I glanced at Aim quickly to see his reaction, but he was calm and composed. There was a hint of indifference in his voice that could wake the dead.

" It's OK. You mean Alex, right?" He said he was a bit cold, which made my blood run.

"Who is Alex?" I asked back stupidly.

"The seller of the jewelry"

" Oh! You know his name too. " I can't help but play dumb. I feel like the conversation is about to take a much more dramatic turn than it is now, but I can't stop it.

"He wore an ornate badge with his name engraved on it." He voiced these words with irritation.

" Why were you so friendly then?"

"He was helping me," he replied without hesitation. "I had to be kind to him." What worries me, even more is that it seems like this boy acts on him like a tranquilizer. "Besides, he is an interesting boy, brilliant and kind." He let go of these words calmly as he regained his former state.

"I see!" I said in an exasperated tone with a sigh that came out like that.

"Why are you out today?" But tell me, were you there to see him or to buy some stuff? " I almost shouted these words. I felt terrible; I had to raise my voice a little to eradicate the pain in the pit of my stomach.

Otherwise, I would have fallen dead on the steering wheel under the weight of the anxiety that invaded me. I have always been very sure of myself and confident. And now I'm worrying about nothing today...

I'm here having a bad time when we've just started this damn relationship, even though we've spent weeks nurturing it on our own while hoping the other will see us the same way.

" Stop the car immediately..." In a harsh tone that left no room for discussion, Quincy ordered me, which only confirmed my doubts about the hierarchy of our relationship.

I may be older than him, but he acts like he is, and from what I've read about relationships between boys, he'll be the one fucking me, that's for sure.

After so many other actions, he proves that he is indeed the one who will fuck me in this relationship, not the other way around. Without even discussing his order, I parked on the side of the road.

"Look at me, Ken," he ordered again. Without blinking, I obey, but why do I follow without saying anything?

I only follow his orders without any sign of unwillingness. Since when have I become so obedient to others?

I feel tiny, like a five-year-old kid in front of him, and I'm the adult here. How ironic!

" So, would you mind telling me why you keep screaming?"

" I don't know why... I just feel frustrated and... pff, "I replied, looking above his head, not in his eyes.

" And why?" He insisted as if he didn't understand that I may not be willing to tell him why.

" What do I know, Quincy? Why are you asking me so many questions? Are you doing an investigation or what? " I started screaming again, unable to control myself. I need to get out of the car, or I will explode.

I was about to open the door to release myself from this anguish, but Quincy stopped me with an iron fist. His hands, which were so tender and soft and gave me such sweet sensations, seem to want to crush my arm now.

"You're hurting me," I said in a small voice I didn't recognize.

I felt my tears rising, which blinded my sight. I took it upon myself not to let them sink. I don't cry because he hurts me; I cry because my feelings want to drown me suddenly. And he let go of my hand abruptly and stared at me in horror.

"Ken, I'm sorry," he hastened to add with a trembling voice.

Suddenly, I was afraid that he wouldn't want to touch me anymore out of fear.

I know of his crises and the moments of panic that push him to act like a wounded animal. As he was trying to disappear into his seat, I took off my seat belt, hoisted myself into my seat, and kissed him on the cheek, wrapping both of my arms around his broad shoulders.

Which surprised him a bit. He turned slowly towards me and looked at me tenderly, and without blinking, he asked me the question again.

"What's wrong, Ken?" Ken, I couldn't understand if you didn't tell me. I have trouble with these things. If I don't ask you questions to understand, we won't get anywhere, and all I want is for us to feel good about each other. "

" I don't want to get upset with you by trying to figure out why you're in a bad mood, and if you're upset without telling me why, I'll be confused and... He struggled to finish his sentence before he let it hang. " Do you understand? "

"Oh, baby! I'm sorry. I thought about how you talked to that boy, Alex, at the jewelry store. It's like you know each other, and the way you told me about him a while ago didn't at all arrange the situation. "

I ended up telling him while hiding my head in his neck. He smells so damn good.

I felt little kisses on my arms, which made me shudder. I feverishly kissed his neck and temples, pushing back a lock of crazy hair to place my lips here and there.

He stopped distributing those warm little kisses on my arms to stare at me with sleepy eyes. I wish he weren't wearing his contact lenses; the show would have been rewarding.

" What now?' I asked him

"You're jealous," he said with a smirk.

" What are you talking about? Who's jealous? " I asked him, pushing his head back.

"My boyfriend," he said mischievously.

"I'm not jealous," I pleaded shamelessly. "I noticed something that bothered me and upset me a little. You still haven't told me why you left your house. " Trying to change the subject, it's true that I'm jealous, and it's because of this little brat, but he doesn't need to learn it so soon.

"If you answer sincerely, I will tell you why I am out today. Do you agree with that?"

" Well, let's forget about all that," I answered, with a tired face and a weary tone. He is blackmailing me now.

I let myself fall heavily into my seat, releasing his shoulders. Fortunately, I can move in all directions and as I want in this car. He's way too tall for that. He can drive and turn towards me, but not as I do. He's way too tall. He needs to stop growing.

" Hey, you're not going to take refuge in your seat now; you were fine where you were." "Come back here," he said plaintively while patting his shoulder.

I grabbed the pole that he held out to me.

" So, if you tell me why you are out, I'll come back." He laughs heartily after hearing my answer, which warms my heart.

" OK, I know you're jealous, so no need to hear it from your mouth. I went out to familiarize myself with places that are frequentable, interesting, and often have people, to be able to take my boyfriend on dates sometimes without problems in the days coming. "

My heart jumped, stopped beating for a split second, and started racing again. I feel all the blood flowing in my vessels take refuge in my cheeks, which have become feverish and red. It is going to explode.

I pretended to fasten my seat belt to prevent him from noticing my current state. He put a reassuring hand on my trembling hands and lifted my chin with the other.

"Let me do it," he said in a hoarse voice, "but above all, you don't lower your head." I find you so delectable when you're blushing, Ken. If only you knew. "

This boy will be my downfall, I don't know how many times I have to say this, but it's true. His manners, his look, the sound of his voice, and his presence drive me crazy.

I must be really important to him. He left the comfort of his home and put aside his discomfort to find himself mingling with the crowd at the risk of having an attack to prepare to take me on dates. That's the most romantic and caring thing someone has done for me. I will not be used as an accessory this time in this relationship.

I know that I am the most precious thing in the world to my mother, but this is a little different. It's new. And it's almost a dream for me. For once, I want to laugh and cry simultaneously, not because I'm sad or something, but because, for once, I count as a person.

I know for Zack, too, I matter, but sometimes I feel like he just wants to reciprocate as if he owns me something. I was there for him when he needed it, so he did everything to reciprocate. So, it's not the same thing, and the worst thing is that I haven't even had three days since this boy asked me to be his boyfriend.

I want this man or this boy; it depends on the person looking at him to make love to me, to make me his own. I want to take him in my arms and touch him everywhere. I want to feel his hands on my body and his body against mine.

I want him too. Am I crazy?