I Am A Criminal

Why do people always seek to give explanations and meaning to what they see in their dreams? Why do they care so much?

We're not going to discuss it with each of their own beliefs. As a child, I was not too fond of many things, and the black clouds were part of them.

Commonly, when we see black clouds on the horizon in everyday life, we already know what to expect: insane storms, torrential rains, and thunder to scare the hell out of our lives.

Since my childhood, in fact, since the death of my parents, I have had a series of very frightening dreams; clouds that want to swallow me up and run after me like giant shadows with arms and claws.

I've never taken them in a sense other than clouds that want to scare the hell out of me because when I was little, I hated storms and thunder.

Then one day, I found myself running to meet this threatening cloud that wanted to swallow me up. I was tired of having to run away from it all the time and letting myself be overwhelmed by my fears.

I haven't been scared since I faced it. I fought a fierce battle against a cloud every time it dared to show up in my sleep to drive me crazy, and then one day, he disappeared, but it started again. He came back to bug me for the most beautiful.

It's crazy and incomprehensible since even I hadn't understood how a cloud could act like this, but children have an overflowing imagination. Let's put it this way.

Today, I find myself almost agreeing with all those people who are desperate to explain their dreams. It may be true, just like when you see a black cloud on the horizon, it announces rain, and when you dream of it, it announces misfortune.

I found myself in the same situation as before, having these nightmares that prevent me from sleeping...

I don't know why, but when I find myself in danger, I always rush headlong into it and confront it instead of running away. But this time, the threat is much more physical, accurate, and closer to me.

I found that Kenan was somehow one of those people who killed my parents.

It's not a joke. I hadn't made the connection yet, because he's the first person on whom I hadn't done any research. I wanted to get to know him little by little.

I wanted him to reveal his asset to me every day, more like those little plants you have spent hours taking care of and waiting impatiently to see their beauty when they hatch.

For the first time, I did not want to skip the steps. It would indeed be my biggest mistake and my greatest despair.

I hate waiting for surprises to come to me. I prefer to surprise them myself, not the other way around.

It's like with my partners and buyers. I've always acted like this with them before making a deal.

I must know who I'm dealing with, where they're from, their background, and if they have any criminal assets or other precedents that could bother me somehow, I must know everything.

Hart, Hensley, Jade, and Ethan also went through the same supervision.

As I said, I wouldn't say I like surprises, but that doesn't prevent me from wanting to let Kenan surprise me day by day because, with him, there's something different, and he is different from me.

Except that I didn't expect it to be so different at all, and it just makes a lot of differences for only one person.

I can say that this one is surprising in every way possible.

I should have taken a step back when I found out who he really was and taken the necessary preventive measures, but no, on the contrary, I did the wrong thing.

I continued to see him and to make him dependent on me. I don't do it on purpose; I act with him concerning the need he awakens in me and how he makes me feel.

So my behavior and the way I treated him, like this beautiful thing that he is, got really addictive. I didn't even know it.

He is not the only one addicted to me. I like how he is when I take him in my arms. I like everything about him, and when he is excited, that's really another level of cuteness and stuff.

I don't really care about the colossal sums of money I invested in his mother's charity galas. What matters is that she uses the money for the needs of these needy people, and that's why I continue to contribute a reasonable sum annually to the worthy cause that she defends. She respects her words and is not a crook thirsty for power and money. She loves what she does.

" So what will I do, and if he finds out who I really am and what I'm doing with my life, what will happen to us? Did he know who I was long before he got on that roof? "

" After all, he is the first to have recognized me when he has never seen me face-to-face, not even once in his life."

" There are many other people in this world with eyes as blue as mine. They may not all have the same social status and difficulty as me, and their eyes may not change color according to their mood, but blue eyes remain blue. "

"I am for the fact he did not know, and your eyes are not like everyone else's." You know that they are outstanding and not blue like all blue eyes. "

"You can't help but defend him, right?"

"Exactly, I am sorry for that, and he was only a child then, so it would be very crazy for a child to be involved in a murder or even to be an accomplice."

" I know Cody, I'm not that stupid and bitter to believe all this, but if I hurt his family, I will hurt him."

"I know too. That's why you have to talk to him and let him know everything. And this story of that night? He must know. Otherwise, he will believe that you are a psychopath. You and I know that you are not, right? "

" Well, you know why you believe that's because you're not the one I inflict these pains on. "You're not the one I torture to soothe myself every time I go out at night."

"I'm a psycho, Cody." Stop thinking with feelings and use reason. "

" Do you know if you really love him, or do you just want to enjoy everything he gives you until he means nothing to you?"

He completely ignores what I tell him to go directly to another subject. He's so good at acting like a human that sometimes I wonder about my abilities. But with me, he can't act that way, but sometimes I let his game go because sometimes it's better for me.

"I don't know, but right now, I like how things are between us, and I also know that I don't want to hurt him." I don't want him to suffer."

"I have the impression that sometimes you are a little confused about the nature of your feelings for him. Sometimes you say that you love him, and other times you don't. "

"That's not what's important right now, Cody, and I never said I love him, but I say I like being with him." That's different.

" Now, can we concentrate on what I am saying? This time I have to do everything much more carefully. "

"Yeah, sure, I was thinking that too..." He answered evasively as if he were somewhere else or even lost in space.

****************************

Usually, he does not bother to ask questions about his next move. He acts without asking questions when a situation arises, and here he is today.

Ewen puts him in a position that pushes him to think about the punishment he should inflict on those who hurt him and those who took his parents away from him.

He may have tried to deny his feelings for Ewen, but he's not fooling anyone here, not me.

I like Ewen a lot, yet I'm not even the one who touches him all the time and all over, who uses my mouth to do all this dirty stuff to him.

I didn't expect Aim to be someone like this: someone who is not afraid to put their mouth on someone's body that much, someone who likes to play with other people's nerves, and worst, he knows how to drive the little one nuts.

Sometimes I'm afraid he'll swallow him up or swallow his tongue.

He likes to kiss him, and he likes to use his mouth as an instrument of torture to destabilize the poor little thing, although Ewen likes that too.

I also didn't know that a boy could cum without penetration or being touched... I must say that I have been in my sex class in this house lately.

I see how he does everything to avoid pushing their session further than these unhealthy things he is already doing to him, and they become more and more unbearable to watch.

They love each other for sure. Even a blind person can see that. No one would do such things if they did not love the other, and in Aim's case, it's even more unbelievable.

Ewen waits for him to start taking him further in his whirlwinds of pleasure while he is content to bring him to the door and leave him helpless in front of the entrance. The key hangs very high, out of Ewen's reach. He is like a kid in front of the house candies.

Oh no, don't think I'm some treacherous voyeur. My mission is to always keep an eye on my creator, my friend, and my brother, whatever he wants me to call him, and never let him out of my sight.

But I somehow try to stay out of his relationship to give them privacy because they want some.

I do everything, but the images will stay there, and I can't turn off my functions when they are intertwined.

I have to try to understand Ewen if he has something in mind if he has to help his parents.

I need to know if he knows anything, but Aim still won't let me dig into his life. And he keeps saying he doesn't like him. Hm.

Maybe his definition of love is not the same as mine. After all, love is a complex feeling, to each its own description.

" We need to talk." I've been trying to have a good conversation with you for days, but you do everything to avoid the moment. Enough is enough, Mr. Kenbes. You really need to stop this time. How are you going to explain all this to your boyfriend? And you really don't intend to tell him about this story for real? "

" What do you want me to tell you, Cody? What do you expect from me, huh? I woke one fine morning and started throwing everything at his face as if nothing had happened. Is that what you want? "

"So, stop? It's time for you to stop. You have someone who is counting on you now and is close to you. If something happens to you, it will affect him, and your activities will not help him. You have to end this unhealthy game, and if you are caught, what will you do? "

" You have seen the news in the last few days." They are getting closer and closer to you."

"You don't have to worry so much; they won't get me, and then you're there to watch over my back. What would I be afraid of? Unless you, too, want to shout to the whole world that I'm some psychopath who roams the streets at nightfall in search of his new victim, hm? Is that right, Cody? "

"What are you talking about?" I will never do such a thing, and I know very well that you are not yourself when you go out. My duties are to protect you against wind and tide, so stop talking nonsense. "

" You're going to have to get some sleep too. You've spent nights and nights without sleeping since this thing. Your ideas are not clear at all. "

" If you don't talk about all this as soon as possible, your condition will get worse by the day, and you're going to want to go out more and more to fill the void inside you."

" And I don't think you'll be able to do it; it'll make you even more unreasonable, and they'll end up arresting you."

"I can't sleep. I can't sleep at night, and I can't stay in my bed either by trying to sleep or doing anything. Everything is confusing. Relaxation, meditation, yoga Nothing worked this time. I feel my demons want to take me to my grave this time. They don't have any mercy on me anymore. "

"I think I know why; it's because of Ewen. He turned everything upside down in your life because his presence alone was enough to put you at ease."

" Everything has changed since he came into your life. You have become calmer, and your anxiety and panic attacks have diminished."

"So the other means you used before him are no longer helpful because your system has become accustomed to his presence. The fact that he almost suffered such a terrible act completely drove you crazy. "

" So if you keep avoiding talking about it, you will only get worse, and he will wonder and keep going to call you until he goes crazy."

" He'll think you don't want him anymore, that his time is up now that you got what you wanted from him." Is that what you want him to believe? "

"I don't want to discuss this with him yet." What will I do if he sees me as a monster and looks at me differently? I don't think I will have the courage. "

"Ok, I understand, but get down from there." Walking on the ramparts at this height is not safe at all, and you are not in your right state now. You're upset. Please give me your hand, and let me help you get down. "

"I don't want to get down there, Cody, and I don't want to see him either. He lied to me about going out with his friends, and he almost didn't come back from this outing safe and sound. I forbade him.

**********************

I feel you're all lost right now, and you have no idea what's happening here. I'm not even supposed to talk about it, and I don't know how to approach this whole thing.

But one thing is sure: with time, everything will be back to normal, but for now, I can only care about the well-being of one person, and he is there in front of me, walking on this steep slope of more than six hundred meters.

If I were human, I would have already died of a heart attack by watching him go forth and back on that dangerous thing.

.

He may have good balance, but that does not prevent him from taking the wrong step and finding himself at the foot of the building in a most unpleasant posture. A very unpleasant one to watch, with his brains scattered on the ground, his spine in shambles, and the bones of his body turned into mush.

These last few days with them were auspicious, but now I doubt the duration of this peace settled in Aim's head.

After the incident with Ewen, he ultimately resumed his service, and nothing good will come out of this return to walking the streets after dark.

When he does his nocturnal rounds, I have to watch him and ensure he hasn't appeared on any surveillance cameras. I'm not protecting a psychopath or whatever name you give him; I'm protecting my creator and my only friend, that's all.

Nobody must know about him, not even Nodge, but I know.

When his demons wake up in him, he has to appease them and feed them, and the only way to do that is to start chasing everything that moves and lurks outside late. He is a ruthless predator.

I was happy when he fled from the roof when Ewen appeared in his oasis. I was surprised at how he reacted when he saw his face. It was a sign, and I was right.

He never paid attention to anyone if it wasn't a target or prey, but it wasn't the same with Ewen.

He began to look at his physical attractions. The first thing he saw about him was his beautiful eyes. He paid particular attention to him. He saw something else by laying eyes on him.

He indeed had beautiful eyes, boldness, and grace. He found him stunning for a man, even if he made him feel uncomfortable. With others, he doesn't look at them that way. He sees them as nuisances and a way to eliminate his frustration.

The second thing is that he makes him lose his words. Aim hates people barging into his place, yet he is the one fleeing away, leaving Ewen by himself in his refuge.

I'm not going to agree with him on what he does and his methods, but I'd rather he be there and alive than see him wander like a soul in pain.

I've always feared he'd hurt himself by keeping things inside him. Things that he doesn't discuss with anyone, not even his therapists, have been able to make him say what's really on his mind.

He just tosses them around like they are fools and deals with his torments in the only way that brings him real peace.

Hunting others