Headmaster (part 1)

2.6 - Headmaster

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The headmaster stared at me silently and coldly as he waited for my answer.

Meanwhile, I can only guess what is going through his mind right now.

I'm a troublemaker who bullied twelve students using my ability to see ghosts. Ten if you exclude the girls outside who were guarding the door. I traumatized them so badly that they reported me to the teachers, not caring nor remembering about the crimes they committed last week to me.

Right… their crimes.

All I have to do is do the same thing as I've done to those homeroom teachers.

The same script, and the same strategies. This headmaster is probably just the same as those homeroom teachers, right?

"It was something they deserved, sir. They bullied me first."

I said while lifting the front part of my hair, and the headmaster shook his head.

"I do not care about such trifling matters. Conflicts among students should be solved between one another on their own. Teachers like us can only ever do so much if we try to solve it."

Huh.…? This is not what I expected.

"What I do care about… is how you react towards those threats. Twelve girls grouped up to harm you, and you return them with something so much worse than they can ever imagine, all by yourself. A senior tried putting their hands on you, and you threw his body to the ground and fractured all of his back bones.

I'm very entertained at your responses to those problems, Elizabeth. I am wondering where you obtain those courage from."

The headmaster asked me after explaining his feelings, and I can't help but be in awe. He is not like the homeroom teacher who is simply aiming to solve the situation. No, he is doing so much more than that.

He is genuinely… asking me about my situation.

"That courage, sir…?"

"Yes. That bravery of contesting opponents multiple times your size and much larger than yourself. Twelve girls versus one… A tall muscular senior versus your tiny frail arms. You get my question, surely? You're a smart girl."

Yeah.…yeah, I do understand his question.

What I don't understand is why he even asked. Why does he care about where I obtain my courage from? Why did he even bother with a first year problematic student like me?

"It came from… a built up rage, sir."

"Built up rage?"

I pondered once again whether or not I should answer truthfully to him. I also should be careful about opening up too much, since Nico is also here next to me. But, I also wanted to just completely release every pent up emotion within me and simply… share.

I couldn't share these feelings with Nico. I couldn't even share this with my Mom. Not Uncle Deve, nor Aunt Linda. This is something… a hidden emotion that I've been keeping shut inside my own heart.

A piled up combination of emotions. Pure anger, loneliness, sadness, anxiety, and annoyance.

The pain of being hated.

"It came from years of being ignored by everyone. Ostracized, bullied, and thrown away. My family… my schoolmates, everyone. I had no one.

So, for once, all I wanted to feel was… to not be lonely. If I can't have friends, then… I just have to be with everyone some other way, right? Even if they had to be my enemy."

"You wanted… enemies, because you want to be close with people?"

He finally stated my true feelings, and I lowered my gaze out of embarrassment.

"… Yes."

That is why I always find so much joy in bullying people. It's because I had no friends, that I have to find my own ways of socializing with people. Even negatively, bullying and fighting other people is still a means of connecting with others. It's definitely not the right way, but it's the only way available for me since no one wants to befriend me.

Enemies… were all I got.

"How unique... Of all the decades I've spent on this job, meeting any kind of student from every generation, you are by far the most unique one. Surely, the ability to see ghosts was never your strongest quirk. It was your personality."

The headmaster commented, and I still kept my head down. I know for sure Nico is staring at me deeply right now, wondering what exactly is going through my head. But, I can't really tell him anything right now.

Even later, I don't know what to say to him.

"Elizabeth. Do you see me as your enemy?"

The headmaster suddenly asked, and I turned my surprised gaze at him.

"N-No, sir…"

"Then, if I'm not your enemy, what am I?"

"You're my.…teacher. Headmaster. Sir."

Hearing my awkward answer, the headmaster smiled softly.

"That's right. I'm not your enemy. I'm your headmaster. You are a student that is under my care, and as long as you are within this school, I will take care of you. As long as you are within this school, you are not alone, Elizabeth.

In fact, I don't think you were ever alone. A handsome young man is sitting right next to you, so there is no reason for you to be alone. Inside your classroom, there has to be at least one student who doesn't dislike you, so perhaps there is a possibility where you no longer need to be alone.

In this entire school, there are definitely plenty of students who don't dislike you. Whether they are from the first year, or the seniors above you. No one is ever truly alone in this world, Elizabeth.

Which now comes to why you are alone in the first place. Maybe you just weren't looking at the right places? Have you tried your best to socialize? Have you even tried finding the right people to be friends with?

And most importantly… have you tried accepting the people who are trying to be close to you?"

Hearing his last question, I opened my eyes widely.

'That's it! That's the whole problem, isn't it? You pushed others away because you are afraid of them being affected negatively by being next to you!'

The words Nico said to me on our first date was ringing once more inside my head. I realized now that after hearing his question, that the whole problem with my life has always been… within myself.

I turned my gaze to Nico and found the guy staring at me worriedly. He knows that the headmaster is right, that I always push people away. And he knows that I might be denying that since I answered the same way to him.

But… now that I've realized it…

"People who are close to me were always affected negatively. Nico kept on getting unlucky things because of me. A classmate of mine could have gotten hurt thanks to my request for her to fight for me. Hah, even my Mom got divorced because I existed.

My whole existence… has brought nothing but trouble. Sir."

I answered wholeheartedly to the headmaster, but he was very ready to counter my argument.

"Funny. When I was young, all I did was cause nothing but trouble.

When I was seven, I caused an accident which killed my younger brother. Five years later, my father got into the hospital because of a car accident, and he wouldn't be in that situation if I didn't request him to buy me books. Not long after, he then proceeded to lose his job, and I made the situation worse by getting into a prestigious university.

I remember we couldn't eat anything for a whole week straight, which was rather fun to recall, haha!"

W-Wow… I don't know where he is going with this story, but wow. I feel really bad for his family.

"However, that was the end of it. Because after I got into university, I started finding a job. Teaching has always been a hobby of mine, and I was able to find a teaching job while doing university, replacing my father as the money maker. After I graduated, I worked as a contracted teacher for three years before finally becoming the headmaster of this school.

I went from being an annoying cursed child who brought nothing but misfortune to becoming the person who saved my family. I bought my parents and my siblings new houses, and I bought a new car for my father. None of my brothers and sisters were as successful as I am, unintentionally bragging.

I was able to change my fate from a cursed burdening child to become the person who changes their lives. It was all because of a powerful wish from my heart to change the way I'm living.

So… can you do the same?"

He finally finished his story, and I was indeed quite moved. But, changing my life isn't as easy as listening to a motivating story or realizing a bitter truth about myself. It requires action, and it requires effort. Even if I find out the problem with me, I still need to work hard to make that effort come true.

It was never… that easy.