Chapter 70

Purpose is the defining difference between humans and tools.

But in what way?

A human being who chooses a purpose with his or her own will, and does whatever it takes to fulfill it.

And the thing that is used and utilized by such a human being is a tool.

That's it, right?

Wrong.

Everything was the complete opposite.

A nail clipper exists to cut human nails.

That is its purpose, and that is why the so-called "tool" exists and was born.

A chair has a purpose: to allow humans to sit on it.

It is born, exists, and lives for that purpose from the beginning.

Humans, the beings called humans, are different.

Humans have no reason to exist. There is no purpose to the life of a human creature.

When I woke up as Rain Gray, there was no reason for it, or perhaps it was better to say that I didn't know; I just was, and no one had an answer for that way of being.

It was the same then, and even after meeting the real Rain Gray, nothing changed.

I woke up as Rain Gray, and I've never forgotten it, not even for a moment.

Why me? Why did this happen to me? Why?

The questions were unfathomable, and I couldn't answer any of them.

Until then – I realized.

In this world, all those questions I'd been asking myself, from the moment I opened my eyes as Rain Gray.

Even when I wasn't Rain Gray, when I existed as "that other human," I realized that they were all the same unanswerable questions.

All the questions I asked myself when I woke up as Rain Gray.

It was like, why are we born, why do we live, and what do we live for?

Someone would answer that we live for the purpose of the genetic unit, to reproduce the species.

But no human being would question a way of life that abandons reproduction and leaves no offspring.

─

I look around.

There were members of the Black Snake that Rain Gray did not love, members who he would not hesitate to use and discard for his own purpose.

They... had been like that since the beginning.

That's why Rain Gray referred to them as his 'tools'.

Even when I said I 'loved' them, it was with such cold sarcasm.

I was silent.

─What, then, does Rain Gray mean when he says "my purpose is the world's destruction"?

I couldn't tell.

Still, I vaguely understood.

The difference between a tool that serves a purpose and a human being who does not. For it was the 'real' Rain Gray who asked the question, not anyone else.

And he hadn't given me any purpose.

No answers, no meaning, no explanation.

And that wasn't all.

"Whether you seek answers or continue your hopeless wanderings is up to you."

"My freedom...?"

"If you value the members of the Black Snake, that's what you do."

He has given me freedom.

And it wasn't technically me he gave it to.

It was Rain Gray himself, the one I was imitating.

It was his wish.

"─"

─A nail clipper that cannot cut nails is not worthy of existence.

At the same time, no one cares if a human being chooses to cut their nails or not.

That's the freedom we're given.

No matter how flawed a human being is.

And so it was with Rain Gray, right here, right now.

The man here, Rain Gray, no longer lives to destroy the world.

He is simply wandering, without any manual, without any instructions, without any answers to why he is here, what he is supposed to do, or how to live his life.

─freer than anyone else.

"Free...."

I repeat the words wordlessly.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

One of the members around me asks. I didn't answer right away.

"It's a new command."

After a silence, I answered.

"Hot, it's a new order! Just give me the order!"

"Just say the word, Chief!"

In front of everyone there.

"Act freely."

I said.

I'm not necessarily saying that's the right answer. Maybe it was the wrong answer, my own arbitrary conclusion. Either way, I didn't care.

I just realized that I am free.

In that freedom, I wanted the same for the troupe members who followed me of their own volition.

"Be free!"

Chuck and Sandalfon burst out laughing. It was the same laugh as before.

"Okay, I'll gladly obey your orders!"

I still wanted him to follow my orders. To embrace the freedom of action I commanded.

"Hoohoo, of course."

Freya smiled and returned the same affirmation.

"As the reason for a girl's existence, as the reason for a girl's living, as the reason for all that a girl will ever be-."

Their answers were unchanged.

"The girl pledges her eternal allegiance, her entire being, to you, Lord Rain."

"Even this life!"

Sandalfon laughed heartily at Freya's words.

"I would do it...if it were your command."

"Yes, Alice, so would I!"

They make that choice, willingly, of their own free will.

How that choice would make them feel-I didn't care.

They, they, choose to remain my instruments. I affirm that way of being.

Then-I, who love my tools, affirm their way of being.

"...Yes."

I said, affirming.

"Then, feel free to speak of your desires."

I ask the unchanging question.

"─Destruction."

Aria answered.

Her eyes, as usual, were shielded by a dark, jet-black bandage, and she spoke softly.

"I wish for the same thing you wish for, the destruction of this world."

That was her wish, just because I wanted it.

I can see it now.

I no longer need to be afraid of them, of her, of the fact that they were members of some unknown, ghastly group of villains.

They were just tools. Always have been, and always will be.

─I turn my head.

The conflict between the Holy Kingdom and the Duchy that had spread over the horizon had been settled by the hand of the Holy Maiden, who had suddenly and miraculously appeared on the side of the Holy Kingdom.

And none of the soldiers on the kingdom's side had any idea of the hero who had just appeared at their side as if he had never existed in the first place and yet, the hero's body was still at my feet.

"...."

I turn my head.

I still had no answers and no purpose.

I still don't know what the real Rain Gray wanted, or why he had me stand in for him.

Now I realize it was probably for the best.

For I understood that unlike him, who clearly moved and functioned and existed for the destruction of the world, the endless ignorance and wandering before me was truly the way he wanted to live.

"My work in the Holy Kingdom is done."

I said.

Our duty here is done.

I no longer have any form of doubt about its ending.

"Well, the hero is dead."

In the face of such a decision, Jinzo Scarlet laughed.

"Looks like there's no more blood to shed."

Hoping for more battles in the realm was like wringing a dry towel. There is no meaningful outcome to be gained.

But as long as I exist in this world, my life here is not over.

Of course, one day my life here will end.

Just as every human being in this world will die at some point.

Therefore, all that remains is to live until the end of life.

"I don't remember caring much for the troupe."

I remember Rain Gray words.

"But if you value them so much, I suppose that's not a bad thing."

"What about Aria?"

"Do you like her?"

He asked.

"If you do, then that's what you should do."

That was his answer, and that was the end of the conversation.

"...Let's go back, Aria."

I said, up on that ridge, with the hellish battlefield stretching across the horizon, crows circling in the dusk, waiting for the feast of corpses to come.

"Yes, sir."

Aria bowed her head in silence and smiled.

It was a very beautiful smile.

"Oh, and Alice, come with me!"

Alice shouted as she followed Aria's lead.

The rest of the troupe followed in silent approval.

From the beginning, it was just that.