New Songs and Old Ones/Chapter 13

I told myself once the drama stated I had to immerse myself into the role of the character, I had to be one with him and he, I.

I wasn't sure how but I needed to prove myself more, I needed to pass time some how, with my thoughts going back and forth on probability of her not interested anymore, not interested in the connection or in me!

it's been long I heard from her and the insecurity I felt from the distance grew wider with every passing day I didn't get to speak or hear from here; I couldn't get my feelings of insecurity in check and it was messing with my work.

"The what if's?" kept popping into my mind and I couldn't shake it off.

Meanwhile, Yang Da-Som and I were getting closer, she seems to have changed a lot since we last spoke and also, more matured.... surprisingly, understanding too.

I never for once saw her that way when we were still together but here she was a "changed person!"

I tried my possible best to be professional in front of her, I was happy about her changes but I wasn't planning to rekindle any old feelings. Just colleagues now, but I doubt she feels that way and tried to make small jokes and reminisce about our past relationships and the good times we shared.

Truthful, we had good times but it got to a point where I thought I wasn't her priority and it made me feel emotionally drained... I also wanted to be seen by her but I think we gradually drifted apart which in turn... I think lead to the point and the situation of our break up. It wasn't all her fault, I contributed to it, abrupt end. So many things were said at that moment but all is forgiven and I don't see myself with her in the future in that kind of way ever again. The past is in the past, I've let it go and I hope she does the same. Truthfully, I wish the best for her... but not me.

As I tried my best not to give off any wrong signal to Yang Da-Som, I also tried to grow closer to my Co-Star and Idol, Lee Byung-hun...I still can't believe I get to star in the same drama series with him. I've idolize the man for as long as I can remember and getting this opportunity was one of the biggest achievement I thought I had made in my career, it made me really happy and I wanted to show off my best and positive sides.

I wanted to prove to him that I deserved this opportunity as well as the role given...I wanted to prove I wasn't a rookie.

The first time he walked into the room for the cast reading, I was star-struck and when I saw him on set I couldn't help but stare, his aura... his aura is on another level. He instantly changed completely, you could tell he was in his domain. Yes, he is that marvelous of a person and it made me nervous a bit... here before me was someone I idolize and when he spoke to me first I couldn't help but be nervous with how confident and how bold he was. How he kept on advising on the rules of achieving a successful career.

All he said to me were constructive criticisms and never a bad word. I know most will tell you "Never meet your idols. Admire them from afar" but meeting him for the first time and his words of advice reminded me that he was the right man to be my mentor.

I remember once, when I told my band mates how badly I wanted to film in the same set and how they looked at me, like a puppy who imprinted on his owner.

And here he is, he spoke to me a lot but the word that resonated with me was "...see the world through the eyes of the character, live your life in their moment like you were born to them, like you sleep as them, you eat as them and carry the thought they cherish..." the words of a through movie veteran. 

In know time we were in the last day on set.

I looked around for Lee Byung-hun to rehearse our final lines but he was no where insight. When I finally caught a glimpse of him, right beside him was Yang Da-Som?!

Why was she there? Okay that was a stupid question, we are all on set, in the same production, but I couldn't help but get curious.

"Hello!" I tried to say calmly and compose as I could but it came out as a whisper, which made them unable to hear me.

I got closer to repeat the formality but Yang Da-Som made it impossible with how wildly she smiled at him.

Okay.

"Hello?" I said this time more clearly.

"Hey!" she replied first as Lee Byung-hun turned towards me with the most crazy expression I never thought I would see on his face. Was he making goofy facial expressions and for Yang Da-Som at that? Now am worried.

"What's going on?" I asked as the group went silent, then followed by a giggle and a uncontrollably burst of laughter from Yang Da-Som herself, her personal assistant, the stylist and some other people, followed by Lee Byung-hun. The laughed hysterically, as I stood there lost and confused.

"We made a bet" she tells me as I stared more confused "If he couldn't stand on one foot for half and hour, he would have to make goofy expression for the thirty minutes" she said giggling.

And that's funny, why? I tried playing along as I looked at them with a big smile on face, pretending to find it funny. His just reconstructing his perfectly handsome shaped face and not in a good way.

Yang Da-Som pulls me to a corner as Lee Byung-hun eyes trailed after her. She sighed for a minute, making me wonder why she pulled me away from the group.

"Is not funny, is it?" she asked as her smile faded away "You know it was hard for me to get you to smile back when we were together. The only thing that could manage to do so, was writing music" she told me as she stared at me "But something is different about you this days, you smile a lot. It's good on you"

She's not wrong, I wasn't all lively back in the days. I guess after encounter with Dora, everything changed. You could tell she is my light.

"I guess...I guess I was stuck on replay to an old tone but recently found a New song to sing" I told her with a smile.

"New songs and old ones" she said a little taking back, wearing a sad expression on her face "I'm happy for you and I hope it last, you deserve it" she concludes with a smile as she gives me a friendly tap on the shoulder and leaves.

Hmmm.

New Songs and Old Ones.