Could I Live Without You?/Chapter 3

I was lost in thought, still reliving the kiss this afternoon.

Voices in the background speaking in indecisively

<Speak to him/Who was she?/ I didn't see any journalist in the premises/ Does he know who she is?/She don't look like a fan of his/He's not listening/ I think he knows who she is >

Member 1 K-pop Idol

"Who was that?" Kai my teammate asked me seating on the couch next to me.

An hour later, back from the photoshoot which was cancelled because of the drama this afternoon and the industry afraid of the reporters and rumors spreading brought us back to the company.

                   Member 3 K-pop Idol

"Soo Yeon?!" Jemmy called out this time bringing me back to my senses

                  Member 7 K-pop Idol

"Soo Yeon, who was she?" Dae-Hyun asked staring at me intensely waiting for a response.

"She's my muse" they stared as though was stupid and confusing as though that wasn't the answer to the question, the answer they wanted.

"Your muse?!" Agent Kim asked surprised stunned by my response, knowing full well they didn't get my answer I repeat myself this time clearly.

"She's my muse, the inspiration for all the songs I've been written this past two years, the ones that won us those awards, last year and this year too" I paused, inhaled and exhaled and continued explaining to them.

"I met someone back in LA two years ago on the beach. That day I decided to tour the city alone, that's how we met" now I could see how interested they were to hear the story.

"You know I said something about quitting music and acting because I lacked inspiration and how I never found it satisfying; all those feelings went away when I met her, the word she spoke to me that day after listening to a song she couldn't hear it's word, a song it's lyrics I knew felt and sounded foreign and strange to her but yet"

I smiled as I reminisce of the past flashed my eyes, how strange it felt meeting her the first time, how she listened to the song I'd never let any soul listen too.

How she dissected every word the song writer sang, how he felt and how empty his heart was.

"I felt better, I felt loved even though I hadn't seen her again, I would look up at the sun and smile, it was really strange at the time how those things that irritated me made my day; it hit me a year ago that I had fallen in love with a stranger I couldn't locate, I was head over heels for her" they all looked surprised and sympathetic

"After waiting for two years, seeing her for the first time after all this years, it awoken something in me and...." The words in my mind not fully expressed, unable to hold in the excitement and the panic I feel.

"I need to see her again, could you guys help me please?" I asked my teammate as I stared at them crazily.

              Member 6 K-pop Idol

"How are we supposed to find her?" Lee Bin asked staring at their agent.

Member 4 K-pop Idol

"I don't know; how hard can it be to find a brown skinned African American in South Korea" Shine said sarcastically and with a funny tone.

It wasn't funny or something to joke about with. He noticed how serious my face was and thick the atmosphere felt, his jokes wasn't needed but truthful made a point; how do I find her?

As though reading my mind, Chan Woo suggestions something-

               Num 5 K-pop Idol

"We could start from the hotel, that's where you found her after two years and after so many search. It's not a coincidence that she's in Korea and South Korea for that matter, if she visited that particular hotel that means she's there on a business trip"  Chan Woo told them making a smart face as he paced up and down the room.

The other teammates nodding in agreement of the suggestion made, but  agent Kim had to remind them that I had a schedule movie coming up and upon that that they have a packed schedule.

They agreed to look for Dora while I focused on my role as a  Lead in the movie  The Lost Kingdom.

My heart didn't feel at peace with the suggestion but I went for it anyways.

Three weeks into shooting the movie The news about a person similar to her description given was found but it wasn't Dora, I was beginning to lose my patients and focus.

The sixth week into the shoot, made me think "If it's possible that I'd ever find her again or were we destined to meet like this always and pact ways not knowing if we would have been more if only we go the chance" my mind echo"If only"

"You did really great in that last scene" the director complemented me asking me to perform more greatly as we took a break from shooting while my makeup artist fixed up my makeup for the next scene.

"That last scene just now, it felt as though you were really going to kill them; like you were angry, is anything wrong ?" Jerry asked me, with my mind wondering I couldn't hear him.

"I'll be in the restroom" I said standing up, interrupting both the makeup artist and himself as I made my way to the restroom.

Inhales/ exhales, inhales/exhales

I repeated the sequence over an over as I stared into the mirror, am my

After a while I made it out, while walking to the shooting venue with my mind a totally blank I boomed into someone (That familiar frequency).

I looked up and my eyes met the one who hers

"Found you!" I said with a smile, a very relieved one as I held her by the hands, she reacted a little at what I did but I didn't quit, I dragging her to seat where my assistant was, telling him not to let her go no matter what.

While the shooting was going on I gave it all me best with my mind constantly telling me 'We found her'

Thinking about it all, constantly, for the past two years I've thought only of her and now she's here, really here.

Could I live without you?, Fedora.

My Sun on a Dark day.