4. Chapter 4

A lengthy run on a crisp morning just as the sun is starting to rise will always be Maya's happiest time. Even though she hasn't been competitively running for years, running is still her therapy. There's nothing a few miles through the neighborhood can't solve. She's been going on even more runs lately, trying to work through her attraction towards Carina.

It hasn't helped.

Even still, running will always be a simple pleasure for her. But for Andrew, the story is a bit different.

"Six miles is way too many," Andrew huffs, collapsing to the ground outside their townhouse the second they get back. "Remind me to never let you convince me to do that ever again." He's flat on his back, arms stretched above his head to open up his lungs as he heaves in deep breaths.

Maya laughs as she jogs in place next to him, wanting to hit 10,000 steps before going back inside. "It wasn't that bad," she tells him. "And it wasn't even a full six miles. I usually go twice as far, but I was worried about you passing out. Just six miles is a piece of cake."

"Easy for you to say, you're like a running robot. A gold medal winning, unstoppable, running robot whose batteries are fueled by your obsessive desire to win that's so vast it shouldn't be able to fit in your tiny body," Andrew complains. "For us mere mortals, six miles is fucking insane."

That just makes Maya laugh even harder, while also filling her with a surge of pride. She's always been proud of her running prowess and even though most people call her a robot as an insult, she's always taken it as a compliment. She is a machine. A finely tuned, meticulously cared for machine and she's proud of all the effort she's put into being her best. There's nothing insulting about that to her.

"You're the one who said you wanted to join me this morning," Maya points out. "You could've just slept in." She checks the step count on her watch and sees she's just 200 steps away from her goal. She increases her steps so she'll finish more quickly.

"Worst idea I've ever had," Andrew groans. He rolls over so he's face down on the ground, running his hands over the freshly cut grass. "This grass is so soft, like a pillow. Which is good because I don't think I can ever move again." His words are muffled by the grass, but he makes no effort to turn his head.

Maya rolls her eyes, watching the count on her watch for the last dozen steps. As soon as 10,000 flashes across the screen she halts her steps and smiles to herself at her accomplishment.

"Just think about how much your secret crush is going to appreciate your hot bod after you go on a few more runs like that," Maya teases, laughing when Andrew groans into the grass.

He's been smiling at his phone a little too often and getting lost in his thoughts, staring all doe-eyed at nothing as he thinks about whoever it is on his mind. He refuses to divulge any information, though, and he denies the existence of such a crush anytime he's asked about it. Saying instead he's just distracted by a case at work. Maya knows it's bullshit, and Carina does too once she joins in on the line of questioning, but he refuses to budge.

Maya is pretty sure it's someone at work, but she knows it isn't Stephanie or Jo, so she assumes it's his ex, Sam. Andrew vehemently denies it's her and swears there's no one at all. Carina told Maya on the down low she was going to try and gather some intel at the hospital, but Andrew caught on quickly and now avoids his sister expertly at work. Carina hasn't been able to get anything so far. Carina thinks it's Sam as well, but she really hopes it isn't. She swears if it's Sam then she'll never let Andrew hear the end of it, but Maya just wants him to be happy.

"There's no crush," he insists, exasperation clear even through his muffled words.

"Sure there's not," she chuckles, letting it go. For now, at least. "Do I need to carry you inside?"

"You honestly might have to," he says quickly, grateful for the change of topic.

"You're so dramatic," Maya teases. She walks the few feet over to him and nudges him in the ribs with the toe of her shoe. "Roll over, I'll help you up."

Andrew groans loudly as he does what she says. He reaches up a hand weakly and looks genuinely surprised by how easily Maya pulls him to his feet. She reaches up and picks a few pieces of grass out of his hair.

"You need to shower, you're disgusting," she tells him, wrinkling her nose at how drenched in sweat he is.

"The fact you barely break a sweat running that far just reinforces my whole robot theory," Andrew says.

"Drew, babe, that's just called being in shape."

Maya heads towards their door, tugging on Andrew's elbow so he follows after her instead of falling back to the ground like she knows he's tempted to do.

When they get back inside, there's Italian music playing through a speaker in the kitchen and Maya can hear Carina softly singing along. When she hears the door close, Carina steps into the living room with a small cup of espresso in each hand. She followed through with her promise of buying a machine for the house to make Maya authentic Italian coffee and it's honestly been life changing. And not just because Carina is the one making it for her, though that certainly doesn't hurt.

"Buongiorno," Carina beams, stepping forward and handing one cup each to Maya and Andrew. "How was your run?"

"It was hell," Andrew complains, taking a sip of his espresso and sighing at how good it is.

"He's exaggerating," Maya says, shaking her head. "It was really great." She takes her own sip of espresso and barely stops herself from groaning. She doesn't know if she can ever drink American coffee ever again. "You should come with us sometime," she tells Carina.

Both Carina and Andrew burst out laughing at the suggestion.

"No, I don't run," Carina says, dismissing the idea immediately. "You two are on your own."

"I'm going to shower and get ready for work," Andrew says, backing down the hallway towards the bathroom. "Thanks for the caffè, Carina. Maya, I hate you for doing that to me." He practically limps into his room and closes the door, only for it to pop back open a second later. "If I'm not out in 15 minutes, check to make sure I haven't passed out in the shower," he says before closing the door again.

"Yeah, I might have pushed him a little too far," she admits to Carina once he's gone. "You're up early this morning," she observes, noticing Carina is already dressed for work, hair and makeup done as well.

And damn does she look so good.

There's nothing special about the flowy beige blouse and black pants she's wearing, but there doesn't have to be something special about anything Carina wears. Just by being worn by her, it's automatically an outfit suitable for any high end fashion runway.

"I have many participants today. I need to get started early," Carina says. She walks back towards the kitchen where her laptop bag is on the counter. "I was worried I wouldn't see you before I left." She looks back at Maya over her shoulder and smiles.

Against her wishes, Maya breaks out into a smile knowing Carina wanted to see her. Admittedly, she would've been disappointed if she got back and Carina was already gone.

"Don't worry, I'm here," Maya says, hopping up onto one of the stools next to where Carina is standing at the counter. Whiskers is asleep on the next stool, so she reaches over to scratch behind his ears and he starts purring softly.

"Thank god for that," Carina says with a wink.

Maya drops her eyes and focuses on her espresso instead, taking another sip and hoping the blush in her cheeks isn't obvious.

"You will be home tonight, yes?" Carina asks. "I am going to cook us all dinner, my mom's chicken cacciatore recipe. It was always Andrea's favorite growing up."

"Yeah, Andrew told me. That sounds incredible," Maya says. "I'll definitely be here."

"Perfetto." Carina reaches out and squeezes Maya's arm, letting her fingertips slide across her skin when she pulls her hand away. "I have to go, but I will see you tonight."

"See you tonight," Maya smiles, ignoring the way her skin burns where Carina touched her. "Have a good day."

Carina's eyes linger on Maya for a moment, like she wants to say something else. But instead, she grabs her bag off the counter and gives Maya a wave before turning around and leaving the house.

Maya waits until she hears the door latch closed before letting out a sigh and dropping her shoulders.

She doesn't know how much longer she can keep doing this. She isn't used to being so out of control with her feelings. She's usually so good at staying on task, but with Carina she keeps forgetting what the task even is.

Maybe she could talk to Andrew, see if now that they're such good friends and Carina hasn't caused any trouble yet, maybe he would be open to the idea of them dating.

Maya actually laughs at herself when she realizes what she's thinking. She doesn't date. And Carina probably won't even be here much longer. There's no reason to risk ruining things with Andrew for a fling.

No.

This isn't happening.

She walks over to the speaker and switches it off, ending the Italian music that's been playing and willing her brain to stop plaguing her with thoughts of Carina just as easily.

++++++++

So mandatory days off were a foreign concept to her when she started working at Station 19. She used to still go to the station every day she had off and see if she could pick up extra time either on the aid car or even the front desk as much as she hated it. Anything to keep moving forward. Then Captain Herrera noticed she was on the clock over 80 hours most weeks and he put a stop to it immediately. Andy started inviting her to lunch or the movies on their days off for a while after that and Maya is sure Captain had something to do with it.

She's gotten better about actually taking advantage of her off days, but barely. She still makes herself be productive in some way whether she's cleaning or grocery shopping or working out. She can't just sit still.

These days, she has even more reason to keep herself occupied. If she's busy, she can't think of Carina.

But by lunchtime, she's done three loads of laundry, has cleaned every surface in the house and even brushed Whiskers so much she could make a second cat out of all the fur. She has nothing left to do and she still has several hours before Andrew and Carina get home.

She knows the normal thing to do would be relaxing on the couch and watching Netflix or reading, but that all sounds terrible to her. She can't sit still that long by herself.

She reaches for her phone across the kitchen island and calls Andy, figuring maybe she can give her something to do. The phone rings and rings and rings. Maya is about to hang up, assuming Andy is busy, when finally the call connects.

"Hey, Maya. What's up?" Andy answers, breathing heavily.

"Why are you so out of breath?" She asks instead of answering Andy's question.

"Oh uh…I'm just finishing up a workout."

Maya doesn't buy that for a second. "I've never heard you breathe like that after a workout. You're almost in as good of shape as me." Maya waits for a reply that never comes when finally it clicks in her head what's going on. "Oh my god, ew. Are you with Jack right now?"

There's a hesitant pause as Andy tries to slow her breathing down. "I feel like you don't want an honest answer to that."

"Gross, I can't believe you answered your phone while you're screwing him. As proud of you as I am that you're getting laid, that's so creepy."

"I'm not currently screwing him. He's in the bathroom," Andy says in a hushed tone.

Andy and Jack aren't public with their relationship. Captain Herrera would lose his shit if he knew about it. So they keep things a secret and steal moments away when they're able.

Maya knows, of course. Andy could never keep anything from her. And while Jack doesn't outright know Maya is aware of their discreet affair, she knows he assumes so. He'll never ask, but she'll catch him looking at her sometimes like he's wondering what she knows.

Maya is pretty sure Andy is just in it for the sex and gets turned on by the secrecy of it all, though she swears she really does have feelings for him. Maya is definitely sure Jack is head over heels for Andy. She almost feels a little sorry for him, knowing Andy might not be as into it. But she can never say anything about that to him, can never warn him before he gets hurt. Andy dismisses Maya's concerns anytime she brings it up, insisting her feelings are genuine.

"Still kinda creepy," Maya says. "I was calling to see if you wanted to hang out, but you're clearly preoccupied."

"Yeah, you could say that," Andy laughs. The sound of sheets ruffling filters through the line before Andy says, "it's barely past noon and you're already bored? Can you ever just relax? That's what I do on my off days. That's the whole point."

"Well we don't all have such easy access to a fuck buddy like you do." She sounds a little bitter, she knows. She doesn't mean to, but she's realizing now it's been way too long since she’s had sex and she's not okay with it.

Her off days on Wednesdays used to be her hookup days. She'd go to a bar on those nights, find some cute girl or guy to talk up, then she'd bring them home and enjoy a night of meaningless sex only to send them on their way come morning and never look back. It was practically her brand. She was so consistent, even after Andrew moved in. He would tease her about it on Thursday mornings, waking up earlier so he could make sure to see them leave. He would make up his own names for them because she would never remember what they really were. Taylor Swift Wannabe, Pornstache, Bicurious Prom Queen, Hipster Ken Doll, the list goes on. He got such a kick out of it, she got to the point where she was picking people up solely based on their name-ability the next morning, trying to guess what Andrew would call them.

She's realizing now it's been nearly a month since she's had her Wednesday night conquest. Not since Carina arrived to town. She tells herself it's just because she's been busy and not because she isn't interested in anyone other than Carina. That can't be true.

Today is Wednesday, she should go out tonight. But Carina is making dinner and she said she'd be home.

Dammit. This can't be about her.

"He's more than just a fuck buddy," Andy insists, interrupting Maya's thoughts. "And you could have the same easy access to great sex if you would just woman up and make a move on your hot, Italian doctor."

"She isn't my anything. There's nothing going on," Maya dismisses. She's regretting calling Andy in the first place.

"But you want there to be."

"Okay, I'm hanging up now."

There's a sound of a door opening and Andy says, "perfect timing. Try to enjoy your day off, okay? Read a book or take a walk. Just relax, it'll be good for you."

"Yeah, I'll try that," Maya says, even though they both know she won't. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye," Andy says, cutting off a giggle as she hangs up the phone.

Maya doesn't even want to imagine what Jack was doing to make her laugh like that.

She knows Andy is right. She needs to just relax, but how is she supposed to do that? When things get quiet, she can only think of Carina, which is the worst possible thing she could be thinking of. She shouldn't be so preoccupied with the way Carina laughs when she's tipsy off one too many glasses of wine with dinner. Or the way her voice cracks when she's still sleepy in the mornings before she's made coffee. Or the way her hands seem to always find Maya when they're around each other, whether they're gently pressed to her back when she passes by in the kitchen or how she always goes out of her way to brush her fingers against Maya's hands whenever she gives her something.

No. She can't be thinking about that. She needs something to do in order to keep herself distracted.

She considers calling Vic, but thinks she remembers her saying something about a spa day with Travis. She could call Miller, but he's been almost as bad as Andy when it comes to teasing her about Carina, so she doesn't want to deal with that.

Ultimately, she decides to go for another run. A longer one this time since she doesn't need to keep things easy for Andrew. She brings her headphones and finds a heavy metal playlist that she'll be able to turn up loud enough to drown out her thoughts.

Maybe that'll do the trick.

++++++++

8 miles into the run her phone chimes with a string of 4 texts, interrupting her music. Usually, she would ignore them until after she was done, but so many messages in quick succession has her worried something is wrong. So she slows down and steps off the trail, walking a few steps towards the water to be out of everyone's way.

When she pulls her phone from her pocket, she has to fight to suppress her grin when she sees the texts are from Carina. Dammit. Carina shouldn't have her smiling like this, but luckily no one is around to judge her for it. She lets herself freely smile.

But the smile fades once she unlocks the phone and reads the messages.

Carina: 1:39PMAndrea has to observe a patientall night. He won't be home fordinner

:(

Carina: 1:40PMBut he told me to still cook for you.I guess it's just you and me tonight

:)

She's excited about the idea of them having the house to themselves, but that's also what worries her. Aside from that day they got coffee together and a few minutes here and there while Andrew is in his room or when he gets home a little later than Carina, they've hardly spent any time alone.

Maya wants to get to know Carina better. She's Andrew's sister and has been their third roommate for a few weeks now and she still doesn't know much about her aside from her research and the limited info Andrew has told her. This is a good opportunity to learn more. But yet her stomach is doing somersaults and her heart rate is picking up, which she knows she can't blame on the run.

It's infuriating how much of an effect Carina is able to have on her. This isn't normal for Maya, none of it is. She's historically been so good at avoiding catching feelings no matter how hard the person of interest tries. But with Carina, all she had to do was smile at Maya in her kitchen and she was a goner.

Maya hates it.

She considers telling Carina they should just do dinner another night and making Andy get dinner with her instead so she has an excuse. This whole night was planned for Andrew anyway, so would it really be fair to carry on without him?

But she can't do that. Carina was so excited to make Andrew's favorite meal tonight and she has to be upset he can't make it now. Maya can't bail on her too. She isn't that cruel.

She types out a quick text, then starts her run back home, knowing continuing it will be pointless with all the thoughts flying through her head. She'll just go home, shower, and figure out how to deal with it. She's stronger than this.

Right?

Maya: 1:45PMBummed Andrew can't make it.More cacciatore for me I guess

Carina: 1:47PM;)

++++++++

She hasn't even done anything with Carina, but if Andrew knew even half of the thoughts she's been having, he'd surely never speak to her again.

She swallows down the guilt as best she can and answers the phone.

"Hey, Andrew."

"Maya, hi!" He says, as cheerful as ever. "How many miles have you ran today to try and keep yourself busy?"

Maya rolls her eyes, annoyed at herself for letting Andrew get to know her so well, but also happy she has someone in her life that does.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she dismisses.

Andrew laughs lightly, "uh huh, sure you don't." He pauses and there's an uncomfortable hitch in his breath. "So uh, did Carina get up with you about tonight?"

Maya hates how sad he sounds. He's trying to put on a brave tone, but Maya knows him just as well as he knows her. She can hear the way his voice drops in tone, his cadence slows. He's really upset about having to miss dinner tonight.

"Yeah she did. I'm sorry you can't make it," Maya tells him genuinely.

She unlocks the front door and steps inside. Whiskers immediately jumps up from where he was sleeping under the coat rack and runs to hide under the couch, worried Maya is going to try and brush him again. She hangs her keys on one of the little hooks and kicks off her shoes.

"Me too, I was really looking forward to it," he laments. "How did Carina seem?"

"Uh…" Maya clears her throat and tries her hardest to school her tone. "I mean she only texted me so I couldn't get a good read. She's sad I'm sure, but she understands of course."

"I hated to upset her, but Dr. Grey and I have this patient who's really touch and go, so I need to stay and monitor him overnight."

"It's okay Andrew, really I get it. And Carina is a doctor, so of course she gets it too." Maya pauses as she realizes a way she could get out of this potentially friendship ruining dinner alone with Carina tonight. "You know, why don't you two just have dinner tomorrow night? She's doing this for you, after all."

"No, you two should have dinner. I want you both to still enjoy it and Carina wants to thank you for letting her stay with us," Andrew says, shutting that idea down. "Besides, if we do it tomorrow night then you'll be working and trust me, you don't want to miss out on this meal. Carina makes it almost as good as our mom and it's amazing. You're really in for a treat."

"Well if you insist," Maya says, hoping Andrew can't hear the way her voice starts to break. She walks into the kitchen and pours a glass of water to try and wash down the lump on her throat.

This dinner is really happening then. She's really going to spend the entire evening alone with Carina. And Andrew is encouraging it because he trusts Maya.

She's such a shitty friend for being excited at the idea of being alone with her best friend's sister. What's wrong with her?

"I definitely do. You two have fun, but you better save me some leftovers, okay?"

"If it's as good as you say, then I can't make any promises," Maya teases to lighten the mood.

"Watch it or I'm going to have to scare an intern into staying with my patient for a bit so I can run home and make sure you don't eat it all," Andrew playfully threatens.

"You would leave your critical patient alone with an incompetent intern just for dinner? What would Dr. Grey say?"

"I'd share some cacciatore with her and then she would understand it was necessary," Andrew laughs.

Andrew has the best laugh. It always brightens Maya's day. She never wants to do anything to take that away. She promises herself she'll be on her best behavior tonight.

"So you and Dr. Grey huh?" Maya asks, not able to pass up the opportunity. "You sure are working with her a lot. Maybe she's your secret crush."

"Oh whatever," Andrew laughs. "I don't have a secret crush. I swear between you and Carina, you're starting to actually convince me I am crushing on someone that's apparently a secret to me too."

"Because you are! Andrew, you're terrible at hiding this."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he dismisses.

"I'm talking about your crush, duh."

"I don't have a crush!" Andrew cuts himself off mid-laugh and groans. "Great, like 12 people in the hallway just heard me say that. Totally not embarrassing or anything."

"If you don't actually have a crush, then you shouldn't be bothered by it," Maya points out.

"Oh, fuck you," Andrew laughs. There's some shuffling from his end of the phone and then the sound of a door closing. "I'm going to try and take a nap since I'm going to be up most of the night. Have a good time at dinner, okay? I'm sorry again I can't be there, but I know you'll both have fun."

"Don't worry about us," Maya says even though all she's doing is worrying. "Get some sleep and then just focus on your patient. I hope everything goes okay."

"Yeah, me too. I'll see you later, Maya."

"Bye, Andrew."

She ends the call and then slides her phone so far across the kitchen island it almost falls over the edge, wanting to put distance between it and herself. She can't believe the turn this dinner has taken.

What was supposed to be a fun, family dinner has turned into the biggest challenge she's ever had. Being alone with Carina all night with good food, wine, and inevitably Carina dancing in the kitchen while she cooks and being cute as hell. And Maya has to act as if she isn't affected by any of it. She has to keep her cool and keep it together.

She can totally do this.

Or maybe she should just start packing Andrew's things up for him now since he'll surely want to move out immediately if this night takes the turn Maya's afraid of.

No. No, she can do this. She made a promise and she has to honor that. Maya Bishop isn't a liar.

Everything will be fine. They'll have a nice, polite dinner, and nothing more. This will be okay.

Right?