Should I move in?

~4 days later

Nakul was in his school. The colors had started to fade away. Only glimpses of them were visible to him. Life had suddenly become a tat-bit unbearable without Dhiraj in it. His mind flocked back to what had happened 4 days earlier.

2 people in a room questioning each other's intentions and decisions. Nakul was at loss of words when Dhiraj asked him the very last question. With his mind confused, all he could do was leave.

And here he was 4 days later, still trying to find a solid reason to counter Dhiraj's last question. Nakul was still at loss. He had a taste of how a life without that man would be like. And as the colors started to fade.....he started hating every minute of it.

'Maybe that's why you aren't supposed to get a taste of the forbidden fruit. You get it once, and you are no better than an addict. FUCK!!I hate this. What should I do?'

A solution popped into his mind. The counselor. 'I should talk to her. But will she talk to me...again? It was me who rode off a high horse from her office. Fuck.....I could be so dumb sometimes.'

Despite his initial fear of "how-should-I-approach-her-when-I-was-an-ass", he booked an appointment. Despite Nakul's fears, he felt relieved when he saw the same warm smile greeting him. He made himself comfortable in the office and soon started.

"Ah.. firstly I wanted to apologize for the way I stormed out last time." Nakul said, embarrassed at his past behavior.

"No no. Don't be. I'm sure you took that decision keeping in mind your circumstances." she gave him an understanding nod as she moved on to the next question. "So tell me, how have things been?...Are you....in touch with Dhiraj?"

"Yeah-" Nakul let out an awkward chuckle. "I did intend to keep my distance from him. But you know how determine he can get..."

"Yeah. yeah...he can be...quite adamant at times." the counselor agreed, having a clear picture of how her previous client was.

Nakul continued, "yeah. So....he just convinced me to spend some time with him"

"Okay. Were there moments of discomfort that you faced? Perhaps with the color rush?"

"No. no. I am fine. In fact....better. I hardly experience the color rush now. Actually, that's what I wanted to ask. I've heard that being with your chrome improves your health. And I do feel much better. My mind is less of a mess. And I experience this state of....serenity inside me. And I was just curious....since your husband....is a monochrome too. I hope you don't mind me asking this..."

"No. that perfectly fine...."

"Yeah. I just wanted a 1st hand experience. So I...."

"Nakul. I'm more than willing to help you." the counselor reassured him with a smile. And Nakul knew he could open up to her.

"I wanted to know if being with your chrome actually improves your health?"

"Well, yeah. It does. My husband earlier was this really agitated, short tempered person. He also had issues with high blood pressure. But yeah, once we started spending more time together, he was less grumpy and aloof. He became more welcoming and laid back. And a warm person" She trailed off mid way, as if remembering the good-old days, but came back to senses a second later, "-yeah and his blood pressure got in control too. So yeah. I do believe that being with your chrome has a positive effect on your body."

Nakul was satisfied with that answer, but it only led him to wonder about another question. A question that was more convoluted and personal than the 1st one. But for some reason, he just wanted to ask it, which he did.

"But.... doesn't it feel unfair that all your life is revolving around 1 person? Doesn't it feel.....as if you have been chained down to 1 person for your entire life?"

The counselor let out a smile. Even though she felt a sense of anxiety and hesitation in Nakul's voice, that was a question she often got asked.

"Nakul.....I know where you are coming from. And I personally think Dhiraj is lucky to be your chrome. There aren't many monochromes who are willing to look at things from the perspective of the chromes."

She took a pause and continued, "I cannot say this on behalf of all the chromes. But I can give you my opinion based on my experience as a chrome."

"For some people, yes, that might be the case. But for me personally this most definitely isn't true. I don't feel this way. In fact, I'm glad that I am my husband's chrome. Because if I wasn't his chrome, I would've overlooked him as just another random guy and never truly understand the person he is. I would've just missed the chance to be with such a nice and kind man. A dutiful son, an amazing dad, a husband who cares about me and a friend, I love spending time with....I would've missed all of this..."

* * *

Nakul was at his home, replaying the conversation he had with the counselor that evening. Though his fears kept clutching on to him tightly, a part of him wanted to give Dhiraj a chance?!

He was just really amazed at how happy the counselor looked while she was talking about her husband, a monochrome. He had no idea; such happiness could exist between a monochrome and their chrome. Because all he had heard and seen was obsession and tying down each other in such a dynamic.

Confused, he knew he just had to talk to his final ray of hope. His sister. He dialed her number and 2 rings later she picked up the call.

"Hello Kuku. When are you dropping by?" asked his sister in her ever-cheerful voice.

"Yeah. soon. Someday"

"Okay!! Tara is waiting for you. She keeps asking me: Mumma when will Mamu come home?"

[A/N: Tara is Nakul's little Niece. Mamu is what you call your mom's brother I.e. your maternal uncle. So basically, Nakul is Tara's Mamu that is maternal uncle]

"Yup. I miss her too...."

Nakul paused in a bit. Not sure how to bring up the topic.

He continued, "so....."

"So...?!"

"Actually I wanted to tell you something?"

"What? That you found your chrome?"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

"A woman's intuition!! Tell me about it!!!"

"Yeah so-"

"Who is it?" His sister cut him off before Nakul could speak, "Is she a woman?"

Now Nakul had no idea how he should answer that question. Therefore, in confusion, he resorted to lying.

"Yeah..." he gave a weak reply.

"Oooooo!! Cool!! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!" and....she started with her looooong list of questions : "How did you guys meet? How is she? Is she older than you? wait.....I hope she isn't one of your students. Now that would be a mess.....is she cool though? Tell me about what she does for living-"

Nakul HAD to interrupt her, "I.....I just happened to stumble upon them. Remember the day I came to see you at your office. I met them back then."

[A/N: Nakul is using the hindi words of 'vo' 'unhe' which are gender neutral. There English equivalent would be 'they/them'.]

"And yeah they are older than me. 4 years to be precise. And yes.....they have a really cool job too." Nakul finally completed.

"Is she attractive?"

[A/N: Come on, it's Nakul's sister talking to him. She had waited her whole life to tease him about this. So she just had to ask him that question.]

Dhiraj's captivating smile from that morning came flashing to Nakul. His heart started increasing its pace.

"Yeah. Well an average person will surely find them attractive."

"My dear Kuku. We aren't talking about normal people. We are talking about you. What about you, hmmm?"

Nakul realized the immense amount of pleasure his sister was deriving from this interrogation. So he changed the topic.

"This isn't why I called you.....Actually....they asked me to move in with them"

"What!! Isn't that great?

"Yeah but should I?

"Yeah....I've heard it's amazing for the monochromes's health and life in general, if they keep a regular contact with their chromes-"

"But we are practically strangers?! So I'm not sure"

"Has she done anything suspicious?"

Nakul remembered the long streak of stalking but chose not to mention that. So he simply replied, "Ahh...no..."

"And what kind of vibes do you get from them? Do you feel she's a good person?"

"I do think so that they're good person"

"And you will be just starting off as roommates right? Then what's the issue? It's like you are back in college and you have a roommate?"

That was an argument Nakul had considered before. He could just pretend that they are roommates and cohabit together. That was something Nakul was some-what confident about. But deep down there was another reason holding him back. Something he wished he never had to confront.

After not getting an answer from Nakul, Riddhi knew something else was stopping her brother. So she felt the need to voice it.

"Is it because of her?"

The inevitable topic was finally brought up. Nakul didn't respond. His fear was too staggering.

"Kuku. You are not her. You are different. I trust you. You won't make the mistakes she made. So please.....please do not stop yourself from living a life that you know you deserve."

She waited to get a response from Nakul but all that greeted her was silence. She knew she had to make a desperate attempt for brother who was totally engulfed in fear.

"Kuku. Trust me. Please give this a try. You may never know what awaits you ahead in life...."

'Maybe I should give it a try?'

***

It was past 1 am. A few hours had passed since Nakul finished his call with his sister. On giving more thought, the temptation of living life with bright colors had won him over.

Yes!! He was going to stay with Dhiraj. Even though he was aware of that man's true intentions, strangely he trusted Dhiraj enough that he would be able to cohabit with that man.

But the question that Nakul had now was: How should I call him?

Usually, Dhiraj would always be the 1st one to get in touch with Nakul. But ever since "that" incident happened, his interactions with Dhiraj had halted. Of course he couldn't blame Dhiraj solely for it. It was Nakul who said those hurtful words. And as much as Nakul felt guilty for saying them he had no idea how he should approach Dhiraj.

He had been staring at Dhiraj's number for nearly 45 minutes now. Finally frustrated, he hit the call button.

1st ring went in....then the 2nd one....then the next....but Dhiraj didn't pick up the call. Nakul was ready to cut the call off when Dhiraj picked it up.

"Hey....It's late at night. Is there a problem? Are you okay?" Dhiraj asked in a raspy voice. It was clear that he had just woken up. But nevertheless Nakul still found a strange relief in being able to hear his voice.

"Yeah..."

"So...why did you call me?"

"I.....I wanted to ask you....Can we meet and have a small chat tomorrow?"

***

Trivia:

Nakul's sister's name is Riddhi. And his niece is Tara[it means star]. I think this is the 1st time I'm mentioning his sister's name.