Technique #6 Hello Old Friend

When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old

friend (an old customer, an old beloved, or someone

else you had great affection for). How sad, the vicissitudes of life tore you two asunder. But, holy mackerel, now the party (the meeting, the convention) has

reunited you with your long-lost old friend!

The joyful experience starts a remarkable chain

reaction in your body from the subconscious softening

of your eyebrows to the positioning of your toes—and

everything between.

In my seminars, I first have people introduce themselves to

another participant before they've learned the Hello Old Friend

technique. The group chats as though at a pleasant semiformal

gathering. Later I ask them to introduce themselves to another

stranger, imagining they are old friends. The difference is extraordinary. When they're using Hello Old Friend, the room comes

alive. The atmosphere is charged with good feeling. The air

sparkles with happier, high-energy people. They are standing

closer, laughing more sincerely, and reaching out to one another. I

feel like I'm attending a terrific bash that's been going on for hours.

How to Make Someone Feel Like an Old Friend at Once 29

Technique #6

Hello Old Friend

When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old

friend (an old customer, an old beloved, or someone

else you had great affection for). How sad, the vicissitudes of life tore you two asunder. But, holy mackerel, now the party (the meeting, the convention) has

reunited you with your long-lost old friend!

The joyful experience starts a remarkable chain

reaction in your body from the subconscious softening

of your eyebrows to the positioning of your toes—and

everything between.

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Not a Word Need Be Spoken

The Hello Old Friend technique even supersedes language. Whenever you're traveling in countries where you don't speak the native

tongue, be sure to use it. If you find yourself with a group of people who are all speaking a language unknown to you, just imagine them to be a group of your old friends. Everything is fine

except they momentarily forgot how to speak English. In spite of

the fact you won't understand a word, your whole body still

responds with congeniality and acceptance.

I've used the Hello Old Friend technique while traveling in

Europe. Sometimes my English-speaking friends who live there

tell me their European colleagues say I am the friendliest American they've ever met. Yet, we'd never spoken a word between us!

A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

An added benefit to the Hello Old Friend technique is it becomes a

self-fulfilling prophecy. When you act as though you like someone,

you start to really like them. An Adelphi University study called,

appropriately, "Believing Another Likes or Dislikes You: Behaviors

Making the Beliefs Come True" proved it.10 Researchers told volunteers to treat unsuspecting subjects as though they liked them.

When surveyed later, the results showed the volunteers wound up

genuinely liking the subjects. The unsuspecting subjects were also

surveyed. These respondents expressed much higher respect and

affection for the volunteers who pretended they liked them. What

it boils down to is love begets love, like begets like, respect begets

respect. Use the Hello Old Friend technique and you will soon have

many new "old friends" who wind up genuinely liking you.

You now have all the basics to come across to everyone you

meet as a Somebody, a friendly Somebody. But your job isn't over

yet. In addition to being liked, you want to appear credible, intelligent, and sure of yourself. Each of the next three techniques

accomplishes one of those goals.