Technique #24 What Do You Do—NOT!

A sure sign you're a Somebody is the conspicuous absence of the question, "What do you do?" (You determine this, of course, but not with those four dirty

words that label you as either a ruthless networker, a

social climber, a gold-digging husband or wife hunter,

or someone who's never strolled along Easy Street.)

The Right Way to Find Out

So how do you find out what someone does for a living? (I thought

you'd never ask.) You simply practice the following eight words.

All together now: "How . . . do . . . you . . . spend . . . most . . .

of . . . your . . . time?"

96 How to Talk to Anyone

Technique #24

What Do You Do—NOT!

A sure sign you're a Somebody is the conspicuous absence of the question, "What do you do?" (You determine this, of course, but not with those four dirty

words that label you as either a ruthless networker, a

social climber, a gold-digging husband or wife hunter,

or someone who's never strolled along Easy Street.)

"How do you spend most of your time?" is the gracious way

to let a cadaver cutter, a tax collector, or a capsized employee off

the hook. It's the way to reinforce an accomplished mother's

choice. It's the way to assure a spiritual soul you see his or her inner

beauty. It's a way to suggest to a swell that you reside on Easy

Street, too.

Now, suppose you've just made the acquaintance of someone

who does like to talk about his or her work? Asking, "How do you spend most of your time?" also opens the door for workaholics to

spout off, "Oh golly," they mock moan, "I just spend all my time working." That, of course, is your invitation to grill them for

details. (Then they'll talk your ear off.) Yet the new wording of your question gives those who are somewhere between "at leisure"

and "work addicted" the choice of telling you about their job or not. Finally, asking "How do you spend most of your time?"

instead of "And what do you do?" gives you your big cat stripes

right off