Technique #2 Sticky Eyes

Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation

partner's with sticky warm taffy. Don't break eye

contact even after he or she has finished speaking.

When you must look away, do it ever so slowly,

reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny

string finally breaks.

What About Guys' Eyes?

Now gentlemen: when talking to men, you, too, can use Sticky

Eyes. Just make them a little less sticky when discussing personal

matters with other men, lest your listener feel threatened or misinterpret your intentions. But do increase your eye contact slightly

12 How to Talk to Anyone

Technique #2

Sticky Eyes

Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation

partner's with sticky warm taffy. Don't break eye

contact even after he or she has finished speaking.

When you must look away, do it ever so slowly,

reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny

string finally breaks.

01 (001-042B) part one 8/14/03 9:16 AM Page 12

more than normal with men on day-to-day communications—

and a lot more when talking to women. It broadcasts a visceral

message of comprehension and respect.

I have a friend, Sammy, a salesman who unwittingly comes

across as an arrogant chap. He doesn't mean to, but sometimes his

brusque manner makes it look like he's running roughshod over

people's feelings.

Once while we were having dinner together in a restaurant, I

told him about the Sticky Eyes technique. I guess he took it to

heart. When the waiter came over, Sammy, uncharacteristically,

instead of bluntly blurting out his order with his nose in the menu,

looked at the waiter. He smiled, gave his order for the appetizer,

and kept his eyes on the waiter's for an extra second before looking down again at the menu to choose the main dish. I can't tell

you how different Sammy seemed to me just then! He came across

as a sensitive and caring man, and all it took was two extra seconds of eye contact. I saw the effect it had on the waiter, too. We

received exceptionally gracious service the rest of the evening.

A week later Sammy called me and said, "Leil, Sticky Eyes has

changed my life. I've been following it to a T. With women, I

make my eyes real sticky and with men slightly sticky. And now

everybody's treating me with such deference. I think it's part of

the reason I've made more sales this week than all last month!"

If you deal with customers or clients in your professional life,

Sticky Eyes is a definite boon to your bottom line. To most people in our culture, profound eye contact signals trust, knowledge,

an "I'm here for you" attitude.

Let's carry Sticky Eyes one step further. Like a potent medicine that has the power to kill or cure, the next eye-contact technique has the potential to captivate or annihilate.