Technique #11 Prosaic with Passion

Worried about your first words? Fear not, because 80

percent of your listener's impression has nothing to do

with your words anyway. Almost anything you say at

first is fine. No matter how prosaic the text, an

empathetic mood, a positive demeanor, and passionate

delivery make you sound exciting

"Anything, Except Liverwurst!"

Back to Dottie waiting for her sandwich at her desk. Sometimes

as I walked out the door scratching my head wondering what to

bring her, she'd call after me, "Anything, except liverwurst, that

is." Thanks, Dottie, that's a little bit of help.

Here's my "anything, except liverwurst" on small talk. Anything you say is fine as long as it is not complaining, rude, or

54 How to Talk to Anyone

Technique #11

Prosaic with Passion

Worried about your first words? Fear not, because 80

percent of your listener's impression has nothing to do

with your words anyway. Almost anything you say at

first is fine. No matter how prosaic the text, an

empathetic mood, a positive demeanor, and passionate

delivery make you sound exciting.

02 (043-92B) part two 8/14/03 9:17 AM Page 54

unpleasant. If the first words out of your mouth are a complaint—

BLAM—people label you a complainer. Why? Because that complaint is your new acquaintance's 100 percent sampling of you so

far. You could be the happiest Pollyanna ever, but how will they

know? If your first comment is a complaint, you're a griper. If your

first words are rude, you're a creep. If your first words are unpleasant, you're a stinker. Open and shut.

Other than these downers, anything goes. Ask them where

they're from, how they know the host of the party, where they

bought the lovely suit they're wearing—or hundreds of etceteras.

The trick is to ask your prosaic question with passion to get the

other person talking.

Still feel a bit shaky on making the approach to strangers? Let's

take a quick detour on our road to meaningful communicating.

I'll give you three quickie techniques to meet people at parties—

then nine more to make small talk not so smal