How to Win Their Heart When Their Tongue Is Faltering

In ancient Japan, if you saved someone's life, it was their selfimposed task to spend the rest of their life serving you. Nowadays,

if you rescue someone's story, a molecule of that ancient instinct

still gushes through his or her veins.

It happens all the time. Someone in a group is telling a story

and, just before their big point, BOOM! There's an interruption.

Someone new joins the group, a catering person with a tray of

crackers and cheese comes over, or a baby starts crying. Suddenly

everyone's attention turns to the new arrival, the nibbles on the

tray, or the "adorable" little tyke. Nobody is aware of the interruption—except the speaker. They forget all about the fact that

the speaker hasn't made his or her point.

Or you're all sitting around the living room and someone is

telling a joke. Suddenly, just before their big punch line, little

Johnny drops a dish or the phone rings. After the crash, everyone

talks about little Johnny's clumsiness. After the call, the subject

turns to the impending marriage or medical operation of the caller.

Nobody remembers the great punch line got aborted—except the

joke teller. (When it's you regaling everyone at a restaurant, have

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How to Win Their

Heart When Their

Tongue Is Faltering

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you ever noticed how you can almost set your clock by the waiter

coming to take everyone's order just before your hilarious punch

line?)

Most joke and story tellers are too timid to say, after the invasion, "Now, as I was saying . . ." Instead, they'll spend the rest of

the evening feeling miserable they didn't get to finish. Here's where

you come in. Rescue them with the technique I call "Lend a Helping Tongue."

Watch the gratitude in the storyteller's eyes as he stabilizes

where his story sunk and he sails off again toward the center of

attention. His expression and the recognition of your sensitivity by

the rest of the group are often reward enough. You are even more

fortunate if you can rescue the story of someone who can hire you,

promote you, buy from you, or otherwise lift your life. Big winners

have elephantine memories. When you do them subtle favors like

Lend a Helping Tongue, they find a way to pay you back.

How to Win Their Heart When Their Tongue Is Faltering 301

Technique #79

Lend a Helping Tongue

Whenever someone's story is aborted, let the interruption play itself out. Give everyone time to dote on the

little darling, give their dinner order, or pick up the

jagged pieces of china.

Then, when the group reassembles, simply say to the

person who suffered story-interruptus, "Now please get

back to your story." Or better yet, remember where they

were and then ask, "So what happened after the . . ."

(and fill in the last few words).

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Harvey Mackay, the world's most notable networker who rose

from envelope salesman to corporate CEO and one of America's

most sought-after business and motivational speakers, teaches us

that the world goes 'round on favors. How right he is! The next

three techniques reveal unspoken subtleties of this critical balance

of power.