How to Use Motivational Speakers’ Techniques to Enhance Your Conversation

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. It is, but the tongue

is even mightier than the pen. Our tongues can bring crowds to

laughter, to tears, and often to their feet in shouting appreciation.

Orators have moved nations to war or brought lost souls to God.

And what is their equipment? The same eyes, ears, hands, legs,

arms, and vocal chords you and I have.

Perhaps a professional athlete has a stronger body or a professional singer is blessed with a more beautiful singing voice than

the one we were doled out. But the professional speaker starts out

with the same equipment we all have. The difference is, these jawsmiths use it all. They use their hands, they use their bodies, and

they use specific gestures with heavy impact. They think about the

space they're talking in. They employ many different tones of

voice, they invoke various expressions, they vary the speed with

which they speak . . . and they make effective use of silence.

You may not have to make a formal speech anytime soon, but

chances are sometime (probably very soon) you're going to want

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How to Use

Motivational Speakers'

Techniques to Enhance

Your Conversation

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people to see things your way. Whether it's persuading your family to spend their next vacation at Grandma's, or convincing the

stockholders in your multimillion-dollar corporation that it's time

to do a takeover, do it like a pro. Get a book or two on public

speaking and learn some of the tricks of the trade. Then put some

of that drama into your everyday conversation.

A Gem for Every Occasion

If stirring words help make your point, ponder the impact of powerful phrases. They've helped politicians get elected ("Read my

lips: no new taxes.") and defendants get acquitted ("If it doesn't

fit, you must acquit.").

If George H. W. Bush had said, "I promise not to raise taxes,"

or Johnny Cochran, during O. J. Simpson's criminal trial, had said,

"If the glove doesn't fit, he must be innocent," their bulky sentences would have slipped in and out of the voter's or juror's consciousness. As every politician and trial lawyer knows, neat phrases

make powerful weapons. (If you're not careful, your enemies will

later use them against you—read my lips!)

One of my favorite speakers is a radio broadcaster named

Barry Farber who brightens up late-night radio with sparkling similes. Barry would never use a cliché like "nervous as a cat on a hot

tin roof." He'd describe being nervous about losing his job as "I

felt like an elephant dangling over a cliff with his tail tied to a

daisy." Instead of saying he looked at a pretty woman, he'd say,

"My eyeballs popped out and dangled by the optic nerve."

When I first met him, I asked, "Mr. Farber, how do you come

up with these phrases?"

"My daddy's Mr. Farber. I'm Barry," he chided (his way of saying, "Call me Barry"). He then candidly admitted, although some

of his phrases are original, many are borrowed. (Elvis Presley used

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to say, "My daddy's Mr. Presley. Call me Elvis.") Like all professional speakers, Barry spends several hours a week gleaning

through books of quotations and humor. All professional speakers

do. They collect bon mots they can use in a variety of situations—

most especially to scrape egg off their faces when something unexpected happens.

Many speakers use author's and speaker's agent Lilly Walters's

face-saver lines from her book, What to Say When You're Dying on

the Platform.

16 If you tell a joke and no one laughs, try "That joke

was designed to get a silent laugh—and it worked." If the microphone lets out an agonizing howl, look at it and say, "I don't understand. I brushed my teeth this morning." If someone asks you a

question you don't want to answer, "Could you save that question

until I'm finished—and well on my way home?" All pros think of

holes they might fall into and then memorize great escape lines.

You can do the same.

Look through books of similes to enrich your day-to-day conversations. Instead of "happy as a lark" try "happy as a lottery winner" or "happy as a baby with its first ice cream cone." Instead of

"bald as an eagle," try "bald as a new marine" or "bald as a bullfrog's belly." Instead of "quiet as a mouse," try "quiet as an eel

swimming in oil" or "quiet as a fly lighting on a feather duster."

Find phrases that have visual impact. Instead of a cliché like

"sure as death and taxes," try "as certain as beach traffic in July"

or "as sure as your shadow will follow you." Your listeners can't see

death or taxes. But they sure can see beach traffic in July or their

shadow following them down the street.

Try to make your similes relate to the situation. If you're riding in a taxi with someone, "as sure as that taxi meter will rise" has

immediate impact. If you're talking with a man walking his dog,

"as sure as your dog is thinking about that tree" adds a touch of

humor.

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Make 'Em Laugh, Make 'Em Laugh,

Make 'Em Laugh

Humor enriches any conversation. But not jokes starting with,

"Hey didja hear the one about . . . ?" Plan your humor and make

it relevant. For example, if you're going to a meeting on the budget, look up money in a quotation book. In an uptight business

situation, a little levity shows you're at ease.

Once, during an oppressive financial meeting, I heard a top

executive say, "Don't worry, this company has enough money to

stay in business for years—unless we pay our creditors." He broke

the tension and won the appreciation of all. Later I saw a similar

quote in a humor book attributed to Jackie Mason, the comedian.

So what? The exec still came across as a cool communicator with

his clever comment.

Big players who want to be quoted in the media lie awake at

night gnawing the pillow trying to come up with phrases the press

will pick up. A Michigan veterinarian named Timothy, a heavy

hitter in his own field but completely unknown outside it, made

national headlines when he planned to attach a pair of feet to a

rooster who lost his to frostbite. Why? Because he called it a

"drumstick transplant."

I don't know if a French woman, Jeanne Calment, then officially the world's oldest person, was looking for publicity on her

122nd birthday. But she made international headlines when she told

the media, "I've only ever had one wrinkle, and I'm sitting on it."

Mark Victor Hansen, a big player in his own field but once relatively unknown outside of it, was propelled into national prominence when he came up with a catchy name for his book

coauthored with Jack Canfield, Chicken Soup for the Soul. He told

me his original title was 101 Pretty Stories. How far would that have

gone? Soon the world was lapping up, among others, his Chicken

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Soup for the Woman's Soul, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul,

Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul, Chicken Soup for the Christian

Soul, plus second, third, and fourth servings of chicken soup in

hardcover, paperback, audiocassette, videocassette, and calendars.

A Word of Warning

No matter how good your material is, it bombs if it doesn't fit the

situation. I learned this the hard way during my cruise ship days.

On a cruise to England I decided to give my passengers a reading

of the English love poems of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning. You know, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." It

was a BIG hit. The passengers loved it and raved for days. I

couldn't walk out on deck without some passenger turning to me

and affectionately echoing, "How do I love thee?"