How to Talk Like a VIP

Welcome to the human jungle. When two tigers prowling through

the jungle chance upon one another in a clearing, they look at each

other. They freeze. Instinctively they calculate, "If our staring

came to hissing—came to scratching—came to clawing—who

would win? Which of us has the stronger survival skills?"

Tigers in the wilderness differ little from the urban upright

animals inhabiting the corporate jungle (or singles jungle or social

jungle). Humans start the process by looking at each other and

talking. In the business world, while smiling and uttering "How

do you do?" "Hello," "Howdy," or "Hi," they are, like tigers,

instinctively, instantaneously, sizing each other up.

They're not calculating the length of each other's claws or the

sharpness of their teeth. They're judging each other on a weapon

far more powerful to survival as they have defined it. Humans are

judging each other's communications skills. Although they may

not know the names of the specific studies first proving it, they

sense the truth: 85 percent of one's success in life is directly due

to communications skills.13

They may not be familiar with the U.S. Census Bureau's

recent survey showing employers choose candidates with good

communications skills and attitude way over education, experi03 (093-142B) part three 8/14/03 9:17 AM Page 93

ence, and training.14 But they know communications skills get people to the top. Thus, by observing each other carefully during

casual conversing, it becomes almost immediately evident to both

which is the bigger cat in the human jungle.

It doesn't take long for people to recognize who is an "important" person. One cliché, one insensitive remark, one overanxious

reaction, and you can be professionally or personally demoted. You

can lose a potentially important friendship or business contact.

One stupid move and you can tumble off the corporate or social

ladder.

The techniques in this section will help ensure that you make

all the right moves so this doesn't happen. The following communications skills give you a leg up to start your ascent to the top

of any ladder you choose