How to Subliminally Lure People to You at a Gathering

Have you ever noticed how comfortable you feel sauntering into

certain rooms? The chairs are arranged in a way that welcomes

you as if saying, "Come right on in and sit on me." Conversely,

you enter other rooms where you must navigate a circuitous route

around tables and dressers before you finally find a free chair.

Likewise, some people arrange their body furniture, their arms

and legs, to say, "Hey, come right on over and talk to me." Yet

other people's body furniture shouts, "Keep out! Approach at your

own risk." Shy people inadvertently say "stay away" when they fold

their arms. They give off insecure signals by clutching a purse,

clasping a drink, or smoking a cigarette.

Controlled studies show that party goers are more comfortable approaching people who stand with an open body, arms

uncrossed and hanging at their sides, legs slightly separated, a slight

smile on their faces. Any object between you and the crowd is a

subliminal cutoff—even your purse. More people approach a

woman who sports a shoulder bag than one squeezing a handbag.

The shoulder bag hangs behind her back, thus leaving the path to

talk to her open.

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How to Subliminally

Lure People to You at

a Gathering

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Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.

Give Them the Ol' Wrist Flash

Now, here's the pièce de résistance. Next to your face, your wrists

and palms are one of the most expressive parts of your body. Palms

up speak volumes of good sentiments.

The Pope's wrists and palms are up when he beckons "Come

unto me my brethren." The burglar's wrists and palms are up

when he says, "I give up, don't shoot." The innocent man's wrists

and palms are up when he's saying, "I don't know who took

the money." Vulnerable, open palms signify "I have nothing to

hide."

They also signify acceptance. When you are listening to a

business colleague to whom you want to signal acceptance, make

sure your wrists and palms are up. Even if you're resting your head

on your chin, turn your wrists forward. Whenever you are chatting with anyone, give yourself a constant hand check. Make sure

you don't point your knuckles directly toward anyone. Let them

have the pleasure of seeing the soft, tender "come hither" skin of

your wrists and palms, not the wrinkled "go away" hide on your

knuckles.

Romance on your mind? Ladies, let your hands do some talking for you. Women instinctively turn their wrists and palms

upward when a man excites them. (In fact, the ol' wrist flash while

talking with males subconsciously gives them a sexy jolt.)

Pave a Clear Path for People Who

Find You Special

Frightened little jungle cats crouch behind rocks and logs so no

bigger animals will spot them. In the social jungle, shy people do

the same. They instinctively seek out corners and sit in seats where

they won't be seen.

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Whereas lynxes and lions stroll confidently to the center of

the jungle clearing, human big cats in the social jungle also stand

confidently in a clearing so others can see them. Like a politician,

position yourself near a doorway since everyone must pass your

way at some point in the evening.

Now we come to a technique all politicians use. In fact, some

political pundits have credited the election of both John Kennedy

and Bill Clinton to their mastery of the technique I call "Tracking