How to Respond When You Don’t Want to Answer (and Wish They’d Shut the Heck Up)

One of my clients Barbara, a ministar in the furniture business,

recently separated from her husband and business partner, Frank,

a megastar in the furniture business. They suffered a long and

messy divorce that resulted in them keeping the business jointly

but not having to deal with each other.

Soon after the divorce, I was at an industry convention with

Barbara. Since she and Frank were both beloved in the industry,

people were curious about what had happened and how it affected

their company. But, of course, no one dared ask outright. And Barbara was offering no explanations.

I was seated next to Barbara at the gala farewell dinner. Apparently one of her colleagues at the table couldn't contain her curiosity any longer. During dessert, she leaned over to Barbara and in

a hushed voice asked, "Barbara, what happened with you and

Frank?"

Barbara, unruffled by the rude question, simply took a spoonful of her cherries jubilee and said, "We've separated, but the company is unaffected."

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How to Respond When

You Don't Want to

Answer (and Wish They'd

Shut the Heck Up)

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03 (093-142B) part three 8/14/03 9:17 AM Page 134

Not satisfied with that answer, the woman pumped harder.

"Are you still working together?"

Barbara took another bite of her dessert and repeated in precisely the same tone of voice, "We've separated, but the company

is unaffected."

The frustrated interrogator was not going to give up easily.

"Are you both still working in the company?"

Barbara, appearing not the least disturbed by the woman's

incontinent insistence, scooped the last cherry out of her dish,

smiled, looked directly at her, and said in the identical tone of

voice, "We've separated, but the company is unaffected."

That shut her up. Barbara had shown her big winner's badge

by using "The Broken Record" technique, the most effective way

to curtail an unwelcome cross-examination

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