How to Really Make It Clear to Them

I recently had to make a presentation to fifteen men in a corporate meeting. "OK," I said to myself as I stood up, "fifteen Martians and one Venusian." No problem! I'd read Men Are from Mars,

Women Are from Venus. I'd explored neurological differences in

men's and women's brains. I knew all about gender-specific bodylanguage signals. Hey, I teach communications differences. I was

well prepared to talk to these men, get my point across, and fend

any questions.

Everything started out fine. I'd conceived my presentation

clearly and concisely, developed each theme, and presented it flawlessly. Then, I sat down and confidently invited questions and open

discussion.

That's when it fell apart. All I remember is a horrifying barrage of questions couched in football analogies.

"Do you think we dropped the ball on that one?" one man

asked.

"Yeah," another responded. "But can we make a fumble

recovery?"

Those two I understood. However, when it got to pass coverage and intentional grounding, I started to lose it. When one

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How toReally Make It

Clear to Them

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guy raved about a Hail Mary pass being needed to save the deal,

I suffered the ultimate humiliation. I had to ask, "Uh, what does

that mean?" The guys looked at each other knowingly and then

smiled condescendingly as they explained it to me.

That night I had sadistic fantasies of fifteen women running

the company and one man left scratching his head as we bandied

about childbirth analogies.

"We won't get his new proposal 'til the third trimester,"

reports the account exec.

"Yeah, but that's six months away. Let's get it by C-section,"

responds the comptroller.

"Why bother?" asks the marketing VP. "All his ideas are developed in vitro anyway."

"I'm about to go into postpartum depression," murmurs the

CEO. The lone male employee is left as confused and humiliated

as I was in the face of football analogies.

Ahem, the aim of this book is not to feed fiendish fantasies,

but to improve communications. To that end, I offer the following technique based on analogies, not just football analogies.

Because old-boy analogies are unsportsman-like conduct with the

girls.

On-Target Analogies Hit Bull's-Eye

Analogies can be an effective communications tool—if you evoke

images from the life of the person you are talking to. Men don't

use football analogies to obfuscate matters or to confuse women

but to clarify situations for each other. Analogies from the sport

bring situations to life for men because generally they watch more

football than women.

Moving on to other sports analogies: everyone knows what

the speaker means when he or she hears, "We'll never strike out

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with this solution." Nevertheless, the image would be more compelling to a baseball fan as would analogies like "caught on the fly,"

"hitting the dirt," "or throwing a spit ball."

You've heard people say, "This solution is right on target." We

all understand it. But the phrasing would be more dramatic for

archery enthusiasts. If your listener were a bowler, speaking of

"gutter balls" or "big splits" would bring whatever you were discussing to life. If your business buddies were basketball fans,

analogies like "hook shot" or "air ball" would land right in their

basket. If your client wrestles, saying "feints" and "scissor holds"

would be the way to grab him.

These analogies might sound far-fetched to you. But they are

potent communications tools when they evoke your conversation

partner's world. Why not use the most powerful terms possible to

get your point across and make the sale? I call the technique

"Potent Imaging."

184 How to Talk to Anyone

Technique #46

Potent Imaging

Does your customer have a garden? Talk about "sowing

the seeds for success." Does your boss own a boat? Tell

him or her about a concept that will "hold water" or

"stay afloat." Maybe he is a private pilot? Talk about a

concept really "taking off." She plays tennis? Tell her it

really hits the "sweet spot."

Evoke your listener's interests or lifestyle and weave

images around it. To give your points more power and

punch, use analogies from your listener's world, not

your own. Potent Imaging also tells your listeners you

think like them and hints you share their interests.

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Pardon me while I return momentarily to my sadistic fantasies

of the hopelessly confused lone male employee. The all-female

management team is now arguing the corporate strategy using,

not football of course, but ballet analogies.

"I say let's do the corporate takeover allegro," she suggests.

"Nah, you gotta go adagio in these matters," her colleague

responds.

"But what if they do a tour jeté while we're poised in fifth?"

"C'mon did you ever see a good pas seul from their president?"

The top woman settles it. "I say let's just give him a little

révérence, and then a grand battement in the balls."