How to Make Them Feel You’re of the Same “Class”

Just like the finch flaps its wings faster than the gliding eagle, people of different backgrounds move differently. For example, Westerners used to the wide-open plains stand farther from each other.

Easterners, systematically sardined into subways and crowded

busses, stand closer. Asian Americans make modest movements.

Italian Americans make massive ones.

At teatime, the finishing-school set genuflects and gracefully

lowers derrieres onto the sofa. When the ladies reach for a cup,

they hold the saucer in one hand and the cup in the other, pinkie

ever so slightly extended. Folks who never finished any manners

school make a fanny dive in the middle of the sofa and clutch the

cup with both hands.

Is one right? Is the other wrong? No. However, top communicators know when doing business with a derriere-dipping pinkie

extender or a fanny-plopping, two-fisted mug grabber, they darn

well should do the same. People feel comfortable around people

who move just like they do.

I have a friend who travels the country giving an outrageous

seminar called "How to Marry the Rich." Genie was once in a Las

Vegas casino when a television reporter asked if she could tell the

real rich from the great pretenders.

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How to Make Them

Feel You're of the

Same "Class"

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"Of course," Genie answered.

"All right," challenged the reporter. "Who is the wealthiest

man in this room?" Convened at the next table were three men in

tailored suits (Hayward of Mayfair, London, no doubt), handmade shirts (Charvet of Place Vendôme in Paris, no doubt), and

sipping scotch (single-malt Laphroaig from the Scottish island of

Islay, no doubt). The reporter, naturally, assumed Genie would

choose one of these likely candidates.

Instead, with the scrutiny of a hunting dog, Genie's eyes

scanned the room. Like a trained basset hound, she instinctively

pointed a long red fingernail at a fellow in torn jeans at a corner

table. She murmured, "He's very rich."

Flabbergasted, the reporter asked Genie, "How can you tell?"

"He moves like old money," she said. "You see," Genie went

on to explain, "there's moving like old money. There's moving like

new money. And there's moving like no money." Genie could tell

the unlikely chap in the corner was obviously sitting on big assets

and all because of the way he moved.

174 How to Talk to Anyone

Technique #44

Be a Copyclass

Watch people. Look at the way they move. Small

movements? Big movements? Fast? Slow? Jerky? Fluid?

Old? Young? Classy? Trashy?

Pretend the person you are talking to is your dance

instructor. Is he a jazzy mover? Is she a balletic mover?

Watch his or her body, then imitate the style of

movement. That makes your conversation partner

subliminally real comfy with you.

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They're Buying You, Too

If you're in sales, copy not only your customer's class but the class

of your product as well. I live in a section of New York City called

Soho, which is a few blocks above the famous-for-being-trashy

Canal Street. Often, clutching my purse tightly and dodging the

crowds on Canal Street, I'll pass a pickpocket-turned-salesmanfor-the-day. He furtively looks around and flashes a greasy handkerchief at me with a piece of jewelry on it. "Psst, wanna buy a

gold chain?" His nervous thief 's demeanor alone could get him

arrested.

Now, about sixty blocks uptown, you'll find the fashionable

and very expensive Tiffany's jewelry store. Occasionally, clutching

my fantasies of being able to afford something therein, I stroll

through the huge gilt doors. Imagine one of the impeccably

dressed sales professionals behind the beveled glass counters

furtively looking around and saying to me, "Psst, wanna buy a

diamond?"

No sale!

Match your personality to your product. Selling handmade

suits? A little decorum please. Selling jeans? A little cool, please.

Selling sweat suits? A little sporty, please. And so on for whatever

you're selling. Remember, you are your customers' buying experience. Therefore you are part of the product they're buying