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How To Talk To Anyone 92 Little Tricks For big Success In Relationship

A book I took from the net; all credit belongs to Leil lowndes

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How to Let ’Em Know “What’s In It” for Them

Savvy businesspeople know everyone is constantly tuned to the

same radio station—WIIFM. Whenever anyone says anything, the

listener's instinctive reaction is "what's in it for me?" Sales pros

have elevated this constant query to the exalted status of acronym,

WIIFM. They pay such strict attention to the WIIFM principle

that they don't open their pitch with the features of their product

or service. Top pros start by highlighting the benefits to the buyer.

Except for tactical reasons during sensitive negotiating, big

winners lay both "what's in it for me?" and "what's in it for you?"

(WIIFY) right out on the table. This is so critical that, if one camouflages WIIFM or WIIFY, the concealer is relegated to the status of little loser.

I once invited a casual acquaintance to lunch. I had hoped to

consult with Sam, the head of a marketing association, on my

speaking business. I told him my desire and jokingly asked if an

hour of his valuable time was available in return for lunch at a great

restaurant. That was my way of saying, "Look Sam, I know there's

no real benefit to you except a tasty lunch and the dubious pleasure of my company." (In other words, I was revealing WIIFY.)

To make the meeting even more convenient for him, I said, "Sam,

choose the date and the best restaurant in your neighborhood."

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How to Let 'Em

Know "What's In It"

for Them

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Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.

The day of our lunch consultation rolled around and I traveled forty-five minutes across town to his chosen restaurant. As I

entered, I was surprised to see an assortment of people arranged

around the largest table in the room with Sam as the smiling centerpiece. Obviously, this was not the setting in which I could consult with him. Unfortunately, Sam had already spotted me by the

coat check. I was trapped.

It wasn't until after-lunch coffee arrived that I realized why

Sam had assembled the group. He wanted each to donate presentations on their particular expertise to his organization. The sly

fox hadn't revealed his own "what's in it for me?"

Had Sam been a straight shooter and big player, he would

have told me on the phone, "Leil, I'm getting a group of speakers

who might be helpful to my organization together for a Dutchtreat lunch. I will, of course, try to answer your questions about

your speaking business, but we will be a group of ten. Would you

like to join us, or shall we choose another date when we can have

more privacy?"

I would gladly have spoken pro bono for Sam's group had he

been up-front about it. Instead, by not revealing WIIFM, we both

lost. I lost a half day and, because of his trickiness, he lost my free

speech for his group.

Don't Deny Them the Pleasure

of Helping You

Big winners also lay their cards on the table when asking someone

for a favor. Many well-meaning folks are embarrassed to say how

important the favor is to them. So they ask as though it's a casual

inquiry when it's not.

A friend of mine named Stefan once asked me if I knew any

bands his organization could hire for their annual event. I told him

"No, I'm sorry. I really don't." But Stefan didn't let it go at that.

He pressed, "Leil, didn't you once work with bands on ships?"

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I told him "Yes, but I no longer have contact with them." I

thought that was the end of it. But Stefan didn't. He grilled me

further and I found myself getting confused and irritated. Finally

I said, "Stefan, who's in charge of getting the band?"

He sheepishly said, "I am."

"Criminy jicketts, Stefan, why didn't you tell me it was your

responsibility? In that case, let me do some research and see if I

can find a good one for you." I was happy to do my friend a favor.

But Stefan, by not telling me how important it was to him, risked

not getting help. He also went down a notch or two in his friend's

esteem by not revealing WIIFM.

When asking someone for a favor, let them know how much

it means to you. You come across as a straight shooter, and the joy

of helping you out is often reward enough. Don't deny them that

pleasure!

Asking or granting favors is a fabric that holds together only

when woven with utmost sensitivity. Let us explore more ways to

stitch this delicate cloth so your relationship doesn't rip