How to Give Them the Bad News (and Have Them Like You All the More)

In ancient Egypt, the pharaoh treated the humblest message runner like a prince when he arrived at the palace, if he brought good

news. However, if the exhausted runner had the misfortune to

bring the pharaoh unhappy news, his head was chopped off.

Shades of that spirit pervade today's conversations. Once a

friend and I packed up some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

for an outing. As we waltzed happily out the door, picnic basket

in hand, a smiling neighbor, rocking away on his porch, looked

up at the sky and said, "Oh boy, bad day for a picnic. The newscast says it's going to rain." I wanted to rub his face in my peanut

butter and jelly sandwich. Not for his gloomy weather report, for

his smile.

Several months ago I was racing to catch a bus. As I breathlessly shoved my handful of cash across the Greyhound counter,

the grinning sales agent gushed, "Oh that bus left five minutes

ago." Dreams of decapitation!

It's not the news that makes someone angry. It's the unsympathetic attitude with which it's delivered. Everyone must give bad

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How to Give Them the

Bad News (and Have

Them Like You All

the More)

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news from time to time, and winning professionals do it with the

proper attitude. A doctor advising a patient she needs an operation does it with compassion. A boss informing an employee he

didn't get the job takes on a sympathetic demeanor. Grief counselors at airports after fatal crashes share the grief-stricken sentiment of relatives. Big winners know, when delivering any bad

news, they should share the sentiment of the receiver.

Unfortunately, many people are not aware of this sensitivity.

When you're weary from a long flight, has a hotel clerk cheerfully

chirped that your room isn't ready yet? When you had your heart

set on the roast beef, has your waiter merrily warbled that he just

served the last piece? When you needed cash for the weekend, has

your bank teller gleefully told you your account is overdrawn? It

makes you as traveler, diner, or depositor want to put your fist

right through their insensitive grins.

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