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How To Talk To Anyone 92 Little Tricks For big Success In Relationship

A book I took from the net; all credit belongs to Leil lowndes

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How to Get What You Want—by Timing!

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the phone, he and his

comrades had no use for such trite phrases as "Hi, how ya doin'?"

Bell and his boys never just started spouting their ideas into their

listener's ears. The first words out of their mouths in those times

were "Can you talk?" Bell and his buddies were, of course, referring to technical capabilities.

Little did they know, more than a hundred years later, big

winners would use a form of that same greeting. Today, of course,

"Can you talk?" means "Is it convenient to talk?" Before launching into conversation, they always ask "Is this a good time to chat?"

"Did I catch you at a good time?" "Do you have a minute to discuss the widget account?"

All folks have a Big Ben in their brain that determines how

receptive they are going to be to you and your ideas. When you

mess with their internal cuckoo clock, they won't listen to you. No

matter how interesting your information, or how pleasant your

call, bad timing means bad results for you.

It's not your fault. Whenever you call someone at home, you

never know whether she was sleeping or whether there's a fire raging in the kitchen stove. Whenever you call someone at work, you

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How to Get What You

Want—by Timing!

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Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.

never know whether he's got two hours to get a report in or

whether the big boss is not-so-patiently sitting on his desk.

Whenever you place a call, always—not occasionally, not frequently—always ask about your timing. Make it a habit. Make it

a rule. Make it a self-punishable crime if the first words out of your

mouth don't concern the convenience of your timing:

"Hi, Joe, is this a good time to talk?"

"Hello, Susan. Have you got a minute?"

"Hi, Carl, did I catch you good or did I catch you bad?"

"Sam, do you have a second for me to tell you about what

happened at the game last Saturday?"

There are many ways to say it, but it all boils down to "Is this

a good time to talk?"

My friend Barry, a broadcaster, accomplishes more in a day

than most people do in a week. He came up with a clever conversational device that ensures he'll never shatter anyone's emotional sundial. He calls it "What Color Is Your Time?" Barry

introduces the device by telling people he's calling he has great

respect for their time. He then asks permission to start his future

conversations with a question that assures he'll never disturb them

at an inopportune moment. Barry says he's going to ask what color

their time is. They should honestly answer, "red," "yellow," or

"green."

Red means "I'm really rushed."

Yellow means "I'm busy but what's on your mind? If it's quick,

we can deal with it."

Green means "Sure, I've got time. Let's talk."

Red, like the stoplight at the corner, means stop. Yellow means

hurry up, time is short or stop and wait for the next green light.

Green means go.

Busy people pick up quickly on his artful device and enjoy the

game. Most especially, they enjoy Barry's sensitivity and respect

for their time. In fact, he says, most of his callers play the same

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sensitive game when they call him. "Hi Barry, what color is your

time? Are you green?"

Salesfolks, Wait for the Green Light

A note here for salespeople. If you ask a prospect if he or she has

time to talk and the answer is "Not really, but tell me what's on

your mind," DON'T! Do not make your sales pitch while he or

she is red. Do not talk when he or she is yellow. Wait until green,

very green. (If you ever want to see any green coming from your

prospect, that is.)

How to Get What You Want—by Timing! 247

Technique #65

What Color Is Your Time?

No matter how urgent you think your call, always

begin by asking the person about timing. Either use the

What Color Is Your Time? device or simply ask, "Is this

a convenient time for you to talk?" When you ask

about timing first, you'll never smash your footprints

right in the middle of your telephone partner's sands of

time. You'll never get a "No!" just because your timing

wasn't right.