How to Banter Like the Big Shots Do (Big Winners Tell It Like It Is)

If you stepped into an elevator full of people speaking Hungarian, you might not recognize they were Hungarian unless you

spoke their language. However, the minute you opened your

mouth, they'd recognize you're not Hungarian.

It's the same with the big cats. If you overhear several of them

speaking, you might not recognize they're big cats. However, the

minute you opened your mouth they'd recognize you're not a big

cat, unless you spoke their lingo.

What are some differences between a big cat's growl and a little cat's insignificant hiss? One of the most blatant is euphemisms.

Big cats aren't afraid of real words. They call a spade a spade.

Words like toilet paper don't scare them. Little cats hide behind

bathroom tissue. If somebody is rich, big cats call it "rich." Little

cats, oh so embarrassed at the concept of talking about money in

polite company, substitute the word wealthy. When little cats use

a substitute word or euphemism, they might as well be saying,

"Whoops, you are better than I am. I'm in polite company now

and so I'll use the nicey-nice word."

Big cats are anatomically correct—no cutesy words for body

parts. They'll say "breasts" when they mean breasts. When they

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How to Banter Like the

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Winners Tell It Like It Is)

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say "knockers," they mean decorative structures that hang on the

front door. And "family jewels" are in the safe on the wall.

If a big cat is ever in doubt about a word, he or she simply

resorts to French. If they feel the word buttocks is debatable, derriere will do quite nicely, thank you.