How to “Listen Between the Lines” on the Phone

The first time I saw The Wizard of Oz, the story bewitched me.

The second time I saw The Wizard of Oz, the special effects

amazed me. The third time I saw The Wizard of Oz, the photography dazzled me. Have you ever seen a movie twice, three times?

You notice subtleties and hear sounds you completely missed the

first time around.

It's the same on the phone. Hearing it is much better the second time around. Because your business conversations are more

consequential than movies, you should listen to them two, maybe

three times. Often we have no clear idea of what really happened

in our phone conversation until we hear it again. You'll find shadings more significant than the color of Toto's collar—and more

scarecrows than you imagined who "haven't got a brain!"

How do you listen to your important business conversations

again? Simply legally and ethically tape-record them. I call the

technique of recording and analyzing your business conversations

for subtleties "Instant Replay."

Having a tape recorder on her phone could have made a dramatic difference in the career of my friend Laura. Laura, a nutritionist, had developed an excellent health drink. It deserved to be

marketed nationally.

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I was in Laura's office one day discussing her plans and I said,

"Laura, I've got just the contact for you. Several months earlier, I

had met Fred, a man who owned a chain of supermarkets. Fred

owed me a favor because, at his request, I'd given a pro bono talk

for a social club he belonged to. Fred was a big banana in the

supermarket world, and with one "yes" he could put my friend's

health drink in his stores. That would launch Laura nationally.

I placed the call and, lo and behold, he was in. And, an even

bigger lo and behold, Fred sounded interested in Laura's beverage.

"Put her on," Fred said.

I proudly handed Laura the phone and their conversation

started out fine. "Oh sure, I'll send you a sample," Laura said.

"What's the address?" Then I heard Laura say, "Uh, wait a minute,

let me get something to write with." (I rapidly rolled a pen and

pushed a pad in front of her nose.) "Uh, what's that again? Did

you say 4201 or 4102? [I moan inaudibly.] And how do you spell

the name of the street? [My moan becomes audible.] Whoops, this

pen just ran out of ink. Leil, do you see another pen on my desk?

[I did, and this time I felt like throwing it at her.] Sorry, what's

that again?"

Yikes, now I wanted to grab the phone out of Laura's hands.

She shouldn't be bothering a busy big banana for details like

repeating addresses. She could have called his secretary back later

for clarification. But even that would have been unnecessary if she

were recording the conversation with the Instant Replay technique.

She could have merely mentioned that she was flipping on the

recorder (most heavy hitters are comfortable with that concept)

and she would have had it on tape.

Fred was nice to Laura that day. But my friend never heard

back from him. And to this day, she wonders why. She'll never

know the confused phone exchange nixed the deal.

Was Fred being unfair just because Laura was a little slow on

the phone? Absolutely not. Fred figures, "If this woman is as insen260 How to Talk to Anyone

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sitive about my time at the beginning of a possible business relationship, what's she going to be like down the pike?" Wise choice,

Fred. I still like Laura. She's still my friend. But will I introduce

her to any other big winners who might help her? I can't take the

chance.

How to Set Up Your Instant Replay

Instant Replay is simple and cheap. Go to your local electronics

store and ask for a recorder for your telephone. Slap it on your

phone receiver, and plug the other end into a cassette recorder.

Then turn the recorder on during your next important conversation. The device could earn you hundreds of dollars on your first

call. In some states the law requires you inform the other party

you are recording them. Make sure to check with the authorities

about the legality in the state where you live. If it's one-party consent, don't worry. You're the one party. Obviously you must never

ever use the tape for any other purpose than for your own second

listening. Not only would that be unlawful, but it would be unconscionable. For extra security, don't leave people's taped conversations lying around. Keep the same tape in your cassette machine

and use it over and over to record important details.

With Instant Replay, you can catch balls your conversation

partner throws out on the first bounce. You're on the phone with

your boss. He rambles off four or five names in a law firm you're

supposed to write to, then the address, then the nine-digit zip

code. Realizing he's pitched you some pretty fast balls, he asks,

"Shall I repeat that for you?" "No thanks, I got it," you proudly

say, silently tapping your little tape recorder. Boss is impressed.

Yet another benefit of Instant Replay—it helps hide your

ignorance. Recently I was on the phone with a cameraman negotiating a price on a videotape to use as a speaker's demo. Luckily

I was recording the conversation because his flurry of Hi-8, VHS,

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Super VHS, Beta SP, and three-quarter-inch U-matic had me

wanting to crawl into a rodent hole in the wall. But I listened to

the tape of our conversation afterward. I wrote down all the words

I didn't understand and then asked a video friend what they

meant. Now I was able to call the cameraman back and say, "I'd

like a two-camera shoot on Beta SP. And can you give me a VHS

dub so I can do some off-line editing?" Don't you think I got a

much better price than if I'd asked, "Duh, what's a Beta SP?"

Forget What They Said, Hear What

They Meant

Instant Replay also makes you sensitive to levels of communication far deeper than just your callers' words. You tune in to their

real enthusiasm or hesitation about an idea.

When we want something, our minds play funny tricks on us.

If we desperately crave "yes" from someone, we hear "yes." But

"yes" isn't always what it seems. A client's forceful "YES" and her

hesitant "yeee-sss" are different as heaven and hell. Last month I

asked a woman who'd booked me for a speech if her office could

reproduce my ten-page handout. She gave me the answer I wanted,

which was "yes." Later, however, I relistened to our conversation

262 How to Talk to Anyone

Technique #70

Instant Replay

Record all your business conversations and listen to

them again. The second or third time, you pick up on

significant subtleties you missed the first time. It's like

football fans who often don't know if there was a

fumble until they see it all over again in Instant Replay.

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on tape. Her answer about the handouts had been a very hesitant,

"Hmm, well, yes." I immediately called her back and said, "By the

way, don't worry about those handouts."

"Oh, I'm so glad!" she purred. "Because we really don't have

the budget for things like that." I gained much more in my client's

goodwill than the value of reproducing a few sheets of paper.

Let us now return to your live, in-person show. We're going

to talk not only about how to be a hit at a party, but how to

smoothly hit on all the folks you want—just like a politician.