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How to become a god 101

WARNING my stories generally lack spirit i write for fun and to free my head from this particular plot. Expect inconsistency bullshit power ups and messed up logic and also don't expect good grammar.

TurkishJesus · Tranh châm biếm
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34 Chs

Getting Laid and Loading Cannons

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Our first day was "normal" I guess, at least it was normal according to Rin.

Although I won't qualify the fact that we were strategically separated and questioned by our relative genders normal...

I guess it was pretty normal, I flicked my phone number to Akeno so we would have a excuse to talk to each other publicly.

Not even Rias knows that she's in my harem this way Rias wouldn't be suspicious once it got out.

It was weird to give her my number after Rin's declaration but I did weirder stuff.

Sona looked like she wanted to say something but in the end she didn't do anything but I was able to peek at her chess board which she almost got it out of her bag.

Rias kinda kidnapped Rin for a while then came back with bunch of signed merchandise.

A true Otaku indeed she got her priorities straight.

I say it was a good day, discount Rin using low level Gandr on perverted trio, I even had to make a illusion barrier to not to get caught by the devils.

Thankfully she didn't use Finn Shot, poor perverts would have died right there. I have plans for our big reveal. So we're being sneaky this year.

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Coming home I realized something after seeing Issei, I totally forgot about Ingvild Leviathan.

That girl has power over dragons she can't be left to others she might even be able to influence Alaya since she's a World Dragon, even though she won't be in my harem I have to make sure she's on my side.

Using my sight I located her and Alaya got her teleported to Avalon, there she will train with both God and Satan after she's wakes up.

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Alex: Alaya are you ready to take over Heaven's System?

Alaya: Yes, my recovery has been better than predicted, I recovered all the energy that's been sent to Trihexa and I am ready to hatch but taking over Heaven would be better. It would delay my hatching to next year but it will worth it.

Alex: Well, it's your choice.

Finishing our talk I teleported to 6th heaven right in front of Gabriel and just used Kotoamatsukami to make it seem like me being here is totally normal.

7th heaven is tricky, just straight teleportation would trigger alarms, after leaving the adorable Seraph we made our way to 7th heaven through the elevator.

Goodbye Gabriel, I will come back for you!

7th Heaven is just the throne of god and all the magic computing behind it, the reason I didn't get God here is because I honestly do not trust him enough even though he became a servant, that dude sent Terra(Previous core of the world that Alaya took over) into vegetated state just for his goals.

Getting here I plugged Alaya into the system and she got herself clearance thanks to that marble I made using God's aura and she made sure system can't be taken back and we left for Italy to give Asia a little gift.

The only after life Alaya didn't have control over was Biblical Faction due to their God's actions now we have complete dominion over DxD.

Oh, yeah it's all coming together.

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Now that I have control over Heaven I created a necklace with a cross, it's actually a device to keep Asia safe, I can't give this to her during her stay in Kuoh but I can just leave it on her doorstep now.

The necklace itself will protect her from sacred gear extraction and it will allow her to pray once she becomes a devil.

Although she's not on my list I don't want her to suffer too much on her way to Issei's arms.

After I put the necklace in a gift box with a thank you note for the healing she does, I left for home.

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Seeing that I am now at an appropriate physical age I started taking my girlfriends out for their special nights starting with Grayfia.

I was going to start with Rin but she was extremely embarrassed after she heard about it and rejected the offer saying she needs time so we're starting with Grayfia.

I don't know how old she is since she was already an adult during great war and I learned my lesson to not to ask but she has been single all her life due to her duty towards me.

So we're dealing with a pretty old inexperienced virgin maid.

Wow, I never thought I would be on the experienced side.

So I took Grayfia to an amazing date that started with us touring France and Italy with me masking her from exorcists.

After that we went to a movie that that a maid lover in it (Pure luck) and ended it with a dinner made by Joichiro himself.

Just the dinner was enough to make her melt Joichiro stepped up his game I might just make him a God of Cooking.

After our dinner she experienced her first time which went great thanks to my racked up experience.

I might have just got her addicted to it... Well it's fine, no one would reject a lusty maid.

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Second on the list was Artoria, which I was finally able to get in her heart even though our perspectives doesn't match all that well but she accepted that as a god I can't adhere to her chivalry.

Anyway I took her to England to show her what has become of her country, funny enough, she was the one that didn't want to see England's current situation but now she has stars in her eyes.

I took her to her counterparts grave, now that Nasuverse is gone this is the best I can do to show she was respected as a king.

Although I avoided Pendragon castle hidden by magic.

We ended up going to a play that told the story of King Arthur and like always ended up in Joichiro's restaurant.

This guy will be my best wing man with those food. He's killing it.

After our dinner which would have been enough to feed an entire family, Artoria finally lost her virginity.

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Third on the list was Akeno which she asked me to locate her father so she can rub it in his face...

That's a lot of built up passive aggression right there, anyway I managed to just show her Baraqiel's alcoholic behavior and she just forgive him after seeing her father in that pitiful state.

It looks like Shuri made sure she didn't hate her father and made sure she practiced her holy lighting.

After handling her father issues we went to Kyoto for our date and thanks to my planing and some bribes towards Yasaka there was a festival going on.

After enjoying ourselves it ended the same way as the previous ones Yukihira's and the bed.

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Ophis was much, much tamer we just binge watched some anime while eating food then went to bed.

She wasn't that tame in bed but it wasn't anything I can't handle.

I was just grateful that she turned into adult form during the bedroom segment.

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I took Scarlett to drive monster trucks which was a major success. She crashed the vehicle in the end but we had fun.

She rejected anything could be said romantic like picnics and love movies during our date, so we went to arcades and played around, it was fun.

Much to my surprise she wasn't a masochist in bed she was totally normal and threw me out the loop for a second.

I am still matching her with Akeno though.

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Thanks to Kunou teaming up with me I managed to get Yasaka on a date as well.

We went to a spa center and got massaged after that we went to a cabin in a snowy mountain where we sat across fireplace and drunk hot cocoa and played some old card games.

As royalty she knew her way around bed and due to her not being a virgin our night was better since I didn't have to focus on making sure it didn't hurt.

In the end Yasaka gave me partial authority over Kuoh in case I decide to take action.

She said she already informed devils and they knew someone from Shinto is watching their actions.

She got an extra massage session from me thanks to that.

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At last due to her personal choice the last was Kuroka.

Since she was rather free spirited I let her decide the date and I wasn't disappointed

First she took me to underworld with me masking her we went through familiar forest and hunted a magical deer which was teleported to Joichiro for cooking then she took me to America to travel the great canyon.

I never thought she would have interest towards west due to her being Yokai but I was wrong after we tired ourselves (She got tired) we went back to watch a horror movie and went to dinner.

*Cough* Apparently there was something called tail job *cough* I recommend it.

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Today, school has been a little bit weirder than normal thanks to certain red head. It was bound to happen but I didn't think it would happen in 5 months.

Rias: So you're the one that made Fate series.

Alex: For the 3rd time Rias, yes.

As you can imagine this has been going on for sometime.

Rias: It's hard to believe...

Well of course since I am not the original creator.

Rias: Are you planning on making more?

Alex: No.

Rias: Why?

Alex: Because I don't want to.

This is getting annoying...

Sona: Alex, why not play some chess?

An escape route!

Alex: Sure.

Rin: You're going to beat her today?

Alex: Sure, I got enough data on her now.

Sona caved in after a month and started asking for chess matches and I decided to study her moves, I finally got her patterns down.

Sona Sitri is going down today.

Akeno: That's a bold claim Alex kun let's hope you can bear the responsibility that comes with it.

Akeno send a wink towards Sona causing her to blush, I was always close to beating her, so she has expectations but also she's scared that she's going to lose because she became besties with Rin.

Since they don't know that we know they're devils she's sad that she might just play with Rin's memories to get me I guess.

Would devils even do that?

Alex: What kind of trouble I can draw with one chess match bring it on!

At worst there would be Serafall breathing down my neck but my "Master Ball" is already ready for her.

As planned I have defeated her, over and over again we used up all the lunch break for the matches and kept playing after school but in the end we sent Sona back home in a daze and with the taste of defeat.

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During one day I was bombarded by a cute little girl with rainbows for hair and eyes.

This little bullet full of cuteness happens to be Alaya who hatched but didn't tell us.

Alex: So why didn't you tell us what if something bad happened during the hatching.

*Pulling her cheeks*

Alaya: Am sooyy daddy.

Well, she way too cute for me to stay angry but she won't be getting candy for a month

Alaya: Noooo!

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After defeating Sona her peerage started tailing us which wasn't really all that problematic.

I have already re built the house into 5 story building, so there's no inconsistency with the insides.

Not that they can sneak in but it would look weird considering how many people is living in the house.

This has continued until our 3rd year which cannon was about to start, I already located Raynare during one wild night.

Akeno: ~Ara ~Ara Scarlett chan being naughty.

*Whip noises* *Moaning*

A really wild night, just let me tell you Scarlett xAkeno was major success.

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Seeing that the cannon is coming I started planning from behind the scenes because we need that chapter count.

While I was planning Alaya came up with a plan.

Alaya: Daddy, can I just handle it myself ?

Alex: What are you planning?

Alaya: Just trust me!

*Pokes cheek*

Alex: I will trust you once you stop ravaging the house for candies.

She pouted and told me her plan I must say it's better than what I had in mind.

Ace: So I am not going to beat that crow and send her to the rest, boss.

Alex: No but don't you have enough women?

Ace blushed and nodded, apparently he made all those kidnapped female fallens fall in love with him thanks to his status as Yatagarasu (He's a god).

Here I was thinking that he raped them.

Alex: So we're going with Alaya's plan but what's going on with Riverzm.

Alaya: He doesn't think that Counter Force is onto him since he's doing something that's what devils were created to do.

Alex: Heh he's crazy alright, what about the rest of the Chaos Brigade.

Alaya: Indra contacted Cao Cao and brought bunch of sacred gear users, I made sure none of them reaches Balance Breaker and Hades is already plotting but Sister Ereshkigal told me that she will punish him for meddling in mortal matters.

Alex: Good, what about Jeanne and Siegfried? Did Apocrypha made an effect on them?

Alaya: They became a couple... Siegfried doesn't act suicidal they seemed happier but they're still in the Hero faction but not by their choice they're basically hostages of Cao Cao.

Alex: Well, we'll rescue them in time. Anything I need to know?

Alaya: Nope.

In a week Raynare will approach Issei then the cannon will start, finally we're coming to the end game.

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Bonus chapter since there was no story progression in the last one.

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