Prelude to Dis(Aster) + Crossover Omake

[The Astral Express Trio, 3rd person POV]

Three figures descended down onto a snowy plain, looking ragged as they began to take in their surroundings. They looked around at the vast, empty snow surrounding them, a land seemingly untouched unless you pay close attention.

"Wait, why is the sun so bright here?" March stated, looking up at the blinding sky.

"March, wait…" Dan Heng said as he turned to get a closer look at the source, "Take a closer look…That isn't the sun…"

Stelle started pointing, "Look, guys! It's a giant mushroom!" She said excitedly while hopping up and down.

"Wha?..." March said as she turned to see a giant cloud of flames covering where the sun should be in a blinding radiance.

"Goodbye Aster…" Stelle said as she stuck her bat in the ground and made a makeshift gravestone. "May you fly high…"She said while kneeling, almost praying as she looked at the bat-turned gravestone. "While I hadn't known you for long, I can safely say you were the strangest thing I have ever seen…"

March just stood behind Stelle with a blank look as she watched the whole "show."

Dan Heng put his hand on her shoulder. "March…just… ignore it. Let it go…" He said tiredly as he started to drag her away in search of civilization.

"..."

-

-

-

[Sampo Koski? POV]

Hello, dear reader! It is I! Sampo Koski, the one and only! 

I have to say… It was a rather interesting~ scenario I found myself in. I'm sure many of you would not believe it as something that has never happened on my beloved ice planet occurred today. Let me give you a little recap on the whole scenario…

-

-

It was another excellent day for Sampo~ Koski. I had just made a rather lucrative "deal" with a very "generous" customer. The poor sap-I mean business associate had just given me all his life savings from my excellent deal…

While I was heading back to Homebase to count my bills, something strange happened…

I apparently… What's the word…Ah yes!

I exploded

Quite magnificently, if I do say so myself, and it was a close call from yours truly. I had to tap into a little "hidden strength" to accomplish this, but telling you now would only be a spoiler. ;) 

Anyway, escaping that explosion was truly a feat worthy of a story for another day, but alas, one thing seemed odd.

Why did I just explode, and why was there a giant mushroom cloud where I had been standing a few minutes prior? I had many questions, but I knew all would be revealed eventually…

It's a shame my reactions were a tiny bit slow as that bright flame incinerated all my hard-earned cash…and my clothes, but those are secondary.

'Oh well…'

Finding myself in a vast plain, I noticed off in the distance a strange trio trekking through the snowy plains.

It was the protagonists of my little show; however, something was a bit odd. I'm not sure what it was, but they seemed a little…unhinged? I don't remember that Stelle girl carrying a bag of "cream puffs?" She seemed to be almost fake crying as she stuffed her face with those balls of sugar.

Things seemed different than what I had planned out…Oh well.

Time to find a snow pile to hide in close by…

-

-

Finding my hiding spot, I waited, but I felt like I was forgetting something…

Wait…

I lost my clothes…

This will be awkward, but maybe I can use this to enhance my cover story…

Stay Tuned, Dear Readers…

Sampo Koski~ Signing off!

-

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[Aster POV]

"Time for gacha!" I said as I sprung myself up and dusted myself off from the surprisingly snowless ground of the snow-planet.

Looking around my surroundings, I noticed absolutely nothing around me, which was a little odd. 'Why am I in a giant hole???'

Oh well…One of life's greatest mysteries, I suppose…

Anyway… it was time for me to do some gacha roles. I just need to figure out how to do that…

I try to strike a pose as I try to summon that gacha space again. 

"Um…Gacha!" I shout while extending my arm like a Kamen Rider. "Henshin!...Uh…Lottery!"

"..."

'Maybe I broke it?'

I try to hold onto a "Stellar Jade" and raise it like some kind of Yugioh card "DRAW!"

"..."

I try putting five jades in my hand and snapping my finger…

"..."

"Damn it!"

I throw the jades on the ground in frustration. "ARE THESE A LIE?!" I scream into the heavens as I fall to my knees.

"..."

"Maybe I should go back to the train…" I say while looking at where I think the train was. "Is there any way to warp-"

Time froze as I found myself in a familiar area.

"-back?"

"..."

"Ah…I see"

"..."

"Hehehehe…Gacha time!" I say while standing up, tossing the jades around me like confetti. I turn to look at the familiar gigantic wheel…"What do you have for me today, Gacha?" I say as if I was looking at an old enemy.

It didn't respond back to me, but I knew it was listening…

Anyway, I strolled up to one of my greatest rivals before observing something odd…

The banner changed!

It still had my bats on it, but there were other less useful non-bats on there…

'Food…Water…Who the heck needs any of that???'

Oh well gacha is gacha afterall…

I looked at the stellar jade count next to the wheel, and after doing some mental math, I realized I had more than 100 rolls.

"WOOOOO!" I screamed as I realized I had enough to reach the pity and was guaranteed to get something good. Apparently, if I win the 50/50 on the banner, I get another one of my bats! Although, I guess there was a standard pool of items as well… the banner won't tell me what it is…

Oh well… Thinking is for chumps… 

Anyway, I choose the option to spend all my Stellar Jade at once since who the heck actually saves up and rolls ten at a time anyway?

Now is the time to roll!

I crank the lever as hard as I could as I watch my jade count drop to zero.

"Come on! SHOW ME THE MONEY!" I scream as I see the wheel turn with the surrounding lights flashing.

-

-

-

"..."

"Well, it wasn't the worst I guess…" I say as I look at the giant pile of items in front of me.

"..." 

I mean, I "won" a 5-star

…'yaay'…

I look down at my hand holding my "new" item.

[5-star Polearm, "Skyward Spine"]

"..."

"WTF?!" I screamed while throwing the shitty spear across the void space. "IM NOT IN FUCKING JENSHIN IMPACT DAMNIT!"

"IS THIS WARP THING JUST A FUCKING WEAPON BANNER???"

"..."

"Wait…is that what I think it is?..."

"..."

"Oh hell nah… Is that a fucking fate point counter?!"

[⅓ Bat Points]

"..."

"..."

I punch the wheel with all my strength…

I punch it again…and again…and again.

-

-

-

[3 hours later]

"..."

'Where's is my damn SR ticket?...'

-

Grabbing my SR ticket I so graciously received from that Aeon(?)...god(?) meh… I activated it. 

It ain't no SSR ticket, but it will do for now…

The wheel spun as a golden glitter began to radiate off it as the guarantee was activated. I took my best prayer position, an extreme dogeza, as I lay in front of the spinning wheel, waiting for my results.

Tick 

Tick 

Tick 

The wheel kept going as the pointer hit each rung while I was still having a makeout session with the floor.

Eventually, it stopped, but I was too scared to see what I got. Slowly, I lifted my head to look at the result of my "SR" pull, and my eyes began to lose any life left in them…

[Congratulations! You win!!!]

[Gained 1x 4-Star Kirei Kotomine(Fate/Stay/Night)(Cosplay)]

"..."

I walked over to where I threw my new spear and stabbed myself in the chest with it.

-

-

-

'This sucks…why must I be forsaken by gacha? What sins have I committed to deserve these atrocities?'...

Depressed, I lay on the floor of the void space with a spear sticking out of my chest. I guess I just don't take damage anymore, or maybe it's because this thing is level 1? Meh…I don't care anymore… 

I feel like I've been cursed to lose my 50/50s…

My eyes, once full of life, now empty, turn to look back at my list of items…

-5-Stars- SSRs

[1x Polearm, "Skyward Spine"]

'How does a crappy polearm share the same star count as my GoB??? Standard banner items suck ass…' I think as I begin to review the rest of my winnings.

-4-Stars- SRs

[1x Kirei Kotomine(Fate/Stay/Night)(Cosplay)]

[1x Pom-Pom Plushie (3ft)]

[1x void bag(10-pound capacity)]

-3-Stars- Rs

[36x Mapo Tofu]

[12x Bottles of water]

[14x Black Keys]

[4x bags of Hot Cheetos]

[7x Originite Primes]

[16x Bottles of Sriracha Hot Sauce]

[3x Copies of Space Jam on DVD]

[6x Frozen Hawaiian Pizza(s)]

'This banner is such a scam! There's not even a pity for the 4 stars? This wheel has a sick sense of humor.' 

How did I only get three 4-stars in 100 rolls? This game is truly rigged…Why the heck did I get random junk as part of the banner… This looks like I went to some crappy dollar store…

"..."

'At least I managed to get some clothes at least…' I think as I pull the spear out of my chest and put on the Kirei cosplay…

Shudders

I am not ever gonna wear the matching wig or that cross.

Suddenly, I felt the urge to do something "odd."

"Rejoice!" I say while extending my right arm.

"..."

There's no way I just did that…Fuck I'm craving Mapo tofu now…

I give up and gather the loot I got from the wheel into my new void bag. 'At least they gave me something useful…'

I twirl the spear as I walk through the strange crater. "I guess I changed classes from Batter to Lancer Huh?"

"..." 

Nah, that's stupid…

"..."

I wonder if there are any big honkers anime characters here…It is a gacha game, after all…

******

[Omake Canon(?)] 

[Special thanks to Phoebus_Aphos] [This omake is dedicated to you]

A/N This references another fic started by me, not on this platform yet, but it was a collaborative effort from a few authors. Don't take it too seriously; its just for fun.

Name: Magical UMU in DXD

[Asters House, 3rd Person POV]

~Sometime before the events of the main story~

In a basement, bathed in a familiar, comforting glow, somewhere in the heart of the United States, a solitary figure stood. 

With his messy blonde hair, this man stood silently before a strange summoning circle, its intricate patterns marked in a peculiar blood. 

After a long binge session of every Fate series there ever was, Aster became inspired and attempted to copy the anime. In his quest to achieve an "anime moment," Aster ravaged the local area in search of resources to make his dreams come true. Using one of his rated bats, Aster stole a few pints of blood from his goth neighbor, who was busy with his own "ritual."

Aster didn't question his neighbor as he siphoned the blood from the guy while the man himself was sacrificing goats in his living room, unaware of what had just happened.

'This has gotta count for some kind of magic value!' Aster thought as he stuffed the blood in his baseball bat-shaped jars.

Aster had a unique bond with his goth neighbor, a relationship that often saved him from the hassle of grocery shopping. He would simply 'borrow' some supplies, and things usually worked out. He had only been caught once, but his trusty Neuralyzer bat had swiftly resolved that issue.

While raiding the local museum, he found some decent relics that were suitable for his purposes. 

However, the relic that stood out was a cracked pair of glasses that belonged to Aphos Oda, "the Demon Prince of the Sixth Heaven." With his menacing presence and dark aura, he resided in a magical land called the EU, which had long since collapsed due to the presence of this monster across the land.

His reign of terror was abruptly halted one fateful day when he vanished from his abode, leaving no trace behind. The silence that followed his disappearance was deafening, and many experts speculated that he had met his end. The mere proximity to this enigma was said to cause spontaneous combustion in any living being within a 10 km radius, a chilling testament to his power.

...

…And Aster wanted to summon him as a servant because he thought it would be cool…

-

-

-

After finishing the prep work for the summoning, Aster made sure to match up the conditions to the anime to continue the summoning. He made sure to wait till 2am before initiating. 

"Let Chaos and Gacha Salt be the essence."

"Let stone and the will of the grind be the foundation."

"Let this crimson blood be the color I pay tribute to."

The Circle started to glow a crimson red as particles of magic started to fill the air.

"Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall."

"Let the four cardinal gates close."

"Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate."

"I hereby declare. "

"Your body shall serve under me. "

"My fate shall be your sword. "

"Submit to the beckoning of the Star."

"If you will submit to this will and this reason…Then answer!"

"An oath shall be sworn here! "

The lights in the room started to dim as if the ritual absorbed the light.

"I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven. "

"I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell!"

"From the Seventh Heaven,

attended to by three great words of power, 

Come forth from the ring of restraints, Protector of the Holy Balance!"

With that last line, the bloody ring on the ground flashed as light filled the room. 

The glowing magic circle started to hum with power before being engulfed by the light that blew Aster's complete collection of High School DXD light novels off his shelves and into the trash bin next to them.

'Huh?' Aster thought as he watched his book collection fly across the room and into the garbage.

"Wild…"

Then suddenly, the light from the circle flashed again, revealing a silhouette hidden from the dust, noticing the new figure in the room. Aster made preparations at almost the speed of light as his GoB activated, fully furnishing the room to give it a mysterious and powerful feeling.

Aster seated himself in a swivel chair and positioned it to face away from the summon.

He manifested a bat-plushie and began to stroke it, waiting for the new guest to speak as the dust settled.

"UMU!" A voice rang out…

"..."

Aster froze in shock as he slowly cranked his head and chair to look at the source of the voice.

What stood in front of him was something that shook him to his core…

While many would expect a certain Roman Emperor to be here, what was in front of Aster was an affront to god. Aster felt a small part of him die as he heard the "servants" introduction.

"Foreigner class, Aphos Oda! Thank god you rescued me from that miserable world!"

"..." Aster was shocked, baffled, and maybe even a little betrayed as what stood before him was…a man(?) in a Nero Claudius-themed magical girl costume doing a cutesy pose.

The abomination continued, "You have no idea how bad it was in DXD! Those devils were relentless, don't get me started on that stupid harem protag…"

Aster was not listening.

He couldn't even comprehend what he was seeing.

By pure raw instinct, he pulled out Bat-4444. He immediately equipped it before pulling out Bat-9000 ("The BFB") and immediately charging it up.

"Wow, man! Is that the BFG from Doom?! That is so cool! Thank you for summoning me back from boob world…Wait?! Why is it glowing green? Hey? Stop!"

Aster restrained the faux magical girl with bat chains from the GoB that latched around "its" limbs before walking up and blowing the wannabe magical girl's head off with righteous fury.

A mighty green beam pierced through the evil beast and everything behind it. 

Aster's limited collection of signed Berserk books was also caught in the crossfire as Aster looked heartbroken but resolute at the threat gone.

'Sacrifices must be made...'

After that thing faded into golden particles, Aster collapsed onto the floor as a shadow of a tear fell out of his eyes. 'Gacha is a curse…' Aster thought as he stared at the giant hole in his house that blew a hole in the clouds.

"..."

"What the fuck did I almost unleash upon the world?"