DOMINIC: EGO TALKING

I peer at Nyx sitting across from me in the dining table. her head down to the table as she uses the cutlery in her hands to push the food around "Eat your food Nyx and stop playing with it" i chided "I don't have an appetite" Nyx muttered under her breath but i could hear her clearly.

'how can she not have an appetite' i wondered 'she looks really unhealthy, the butler and the servants have reported to me several times on how she barely touches her food and it's showing' i took a deep breath "what do you mean you don't have an appetite, your all skin and bones at this point, no flesh" I said clenching my teeth and Nyx lowers her head even farther the action causes her brown curly hair fall to her face and i have the urge to swipe it away but I clench my hands into fist instead and continue "just the other day one of my ministers commented on it and it was quite embarrassing" i scolded. it wasn't embarrassment what I felt was anger, I had been angry at the man who said that so when no one was looking I'd leaned in and threatened 'if you don't like your current position and status as a minister and a prominent figure in the society, keep looking at my wife and say shit like that again" the man had apologized immediately but did i listen? No, i had still replaced the man but she didn't have know that.

I should have told her, it might have changed something.

She nibbled on her lower lips and my eyes were quickly pulled to the action, I drank it up, it had been over two months since the last time I'd touched her.

It was the first time I'd ever touched her and honestly it was the best I've ever had.

will ever have.

i don't know what had gotten into me that day I'd, had the sudden urge to see her and when i stumbled into her room and saw her sleeping form i couldn't help but take her.

Guess my subconscious knew all along…..

over the past four years of us being married, I knew I hadn't been the nicest to her but I was too caught up in my head, in the manipulations to have seen the signs of her crumbling.

As I took in her pouty lips I imagined them on mine and the thought causes me to stand abruptly, I got irritated.

Oh what a fool I was how could I ever be irritated by her, she was the most purest thing I could ever hold. Will ever hold.

I storm over to the door but before I could step out her question stops me "where are you going?" her sweet honeyed voice rings in my ears and I inhale I can still hear it and it still causes my body to hum like it did back then only difference being back then I hated it, hated the sound of her voice but now I'd give anything to hear her call me again.

"non of your business" I snap my back turned to her

"are you going to see her" she ask her voice laced with tiredness "it's non of your business Nyx, mind the only business you have which is to eat your food, gain weight and avoid being an embarrassment to me" I glower at her.

something she never deserved.

"is that what I am to you an embarrassment, why did you marry me then, you should have married her, Dominic!, you should have married her and let me be!" she yelled shooting from her chair in anger causing it to stagger and fall on the marble floors her beautiful hazel eyes brimmed with tears.

Tears!

"do you think I had a choice, my father forced you on me and now I'm left here to cater to your childish tantrums" I spat the venomous words

I can still taste the bitterness of it

"tantrums? Dominic you think I'm throwing tantrums?" she asked in disbelief "I'm tired Dominic, I'm tired of all this" she said in a low voice filled with anguish and her tears finally fell and I'd just stood there like a fucking wall with a stoic expression on my stupid face before I opened my stupid mouth to ask an even more stupid question.

"What do you want from me Nyx" I knew what she wanted, she's asked several times, it wasn't something difficult I just had to be a better husband a decent human being to her. But even that was too much.

"all I'm asking is to help, try, make an effort to help this marriage work, stop treating me so insignificantly, stop seeing her." she pleaded tears still streaming down her beautiful face. Tears I caused, tears I've hurt myself countless times for but I still don't feel appeased.

"that's not possible Nyx this marriage is a farce, I owe it nothing, I owe you nothing especially my loyalty" I said harshly I didn't feel it then but I can now the bitter taste of my words and how they must have hurt her linger.

A small sad smile grazed her lips before she nodded more to herself "I understand" she whispered, two simple words filled with resignation I was too daft to understand, too deaf to hear it then.

I stormed out of the dinning room fuming. I wish I could go back, not storm out, not run, but talk it out, like a normal human being not like a fuckin caveman.

I headed to my room it was our normal routine arguing, but that day had been different I felt it even then, the profundity of the moment.

I just didn't realize I would lose her even if I did know I would have been too prideful care.

Getting into my room I found Addison in my bed dressed in a skimpy white night gown. I stepped in without spearing her a glance i moved to seat on the edge of the bed and she crawled towards me and began massaging my shoulders "how are you doing domi" she whispered in a husky voice "I know you must be really tired allow me to make you feel better" she brought my earlobe between her teeth and then sucked on it and I didn't respond.

The beginning of my turn off. Of my head being clear.

If anything It made me angry so I shrugged her off and stood up "get out" I said going to the window and push the curtains away to let fresh air in "bu-but I came here to make you feel good" she said scrambling out of the bed and came to stand behind me her hands snaked around my waist as she hugged me from behind "get out Addison" I sighed unwrapping her hands from my waist "but domi..." she begins but I cut her off "I said get OUT!!!" I belted angrily and she yelped, startled then scurried to the bed picked up her rope and stormed out slamming the door close. The images of Nyx's sad expression kept resurfacing in my mind, I've seen her sad before but her countenance that night was something more and I tried to decipher what it meant but came up blank I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration and annoyance.

After a while of pacing the room I'd finally gotten a grip on my thoughts and I decided to go get some work done in my office and just when I step out of the room Nyx is about to step into hers but stopped on seeing me our eyes locked and there it was again that crestfallen look in her eyes, has it always been there and I just hadn't noticed it until now and why is it so undisguised so bare there's also something else I noticed, her hazel eyes lacked spark, those irises that would usually light up when they fell on me, but not then, when they fell on me they were blank except for the deep wounded look that swirled around in there.

That deep wounded look that made a home in her hazel eyes I should have seen the signs, I was losing her.

A sad smile grazed her lips, she mouthed a 'goodbye'.

That smile and single word has haunted me till this day.

she steps into her bedroom leaving me to stare at the spot she had stood. I stood there for a while until someone cleared there throat and I turned to find the butler "good evening prince Dominic, the paperwork regarding the farming affairs has arrived." I nodded and followed him out.

The next day I'd left the castle early, I'd followed my father out to the council and hadn't returned until the late afternoon.

"Where is princess Nyx" I asked one of the maids that was serving lunch at the dinning table and she looked down visibly shaking, I hadn't seen her during breakfast in the morning and hadn't had time to check on her as I had important matters to attend to but then not seeing her at lunch as well had my thoughts in turmoil especially after I remembered that look on her face the previous night it had me restless all night and that was unlike me.

That was just a tip of the iceberg they were more sleepless nights to come.

"where is she" I asked again and the maid shook her head opening her mouth and then closing it again like a fish "i-i-, umm…p-pri-, s-she" the maid stammers and my eyes narrowed I open my mouth to scold but just then the butler came in "prince Dominic, princess Nyx is gone" he reports and my eyes narrowed further "what do you mean gone Igor."

"sir the princess fled the palace, some of her clothes are missing and she left this letter" the butler explained before handing me the neatly folded piece of paper, I reached for it and quickly unfolded it and read…

Dear prince Dominic, by the time you find this letter I'd be gone, hopefully I'd be very far by then. The thought to leave wasn't one I came up with at just the spur of the moment its been on my mind for the past two, of the four years of our marriage, so you see, I've thoroughly thought it through. I didn't leave sooner because I thought that I could fix us but you can't fix what was never meant to be, can you?. I'm leaving to give you space to build a proper family with Addison, I know in our society it's normal to have concubines and courtesans and most women can over look it but I wasn't brought up that way neither were you. our fathers are both one woman men and I wanted that. I want that, but I can never have that with you, you could never be that for me not when another holds your heart. Our parents were both wrong for forcing us into marriage so I'm rectifying that mistake by leaving. Tell my parents not to worry I'll be fine and that I love them. Goodbye Dominic I hope you have a great life. Yours faithfully Nyx.

The yours faithfully was erased, an implication that she wasn't mine.

The letter was a blow to me, still is though back then it was for a different reason, when she left my pride was hit a man left by his wife was a shame but I was no ordinary man I was a prince and that had bruised my ego but then later when I realized I was in love with her, I'm in love with her my heart became the target, bruised and battered.

When I was done reading the letter a humorless laughter bubbled out of me, I laughed so hard my stomach started to hurt, "she left!, she left!" I said still laughing "sir don't worry I've already sent the guards to go search for her" the butler informed me and I shook my head "worry? Me?, no I'm not worried, call them back" I ordered causing him to looked at me in confusion "call them back, where can she go she's a sheltered princess, she'll soon learn that the outside world isn't friendly, she will be back" I said and the butler bowed and then left.

That was my ego talking and I'd soon realized Nyx was serious she wasn't coming back and by then it was too late.

I'd sent my best trackers to find her but they all turned up unsuccessful, All traces of her was gone, she had been careful not to leave breadcrumbs that led to her whereabouts she didn't want to be found, she wanted to stay hidden, and hidden she stayed.

it's been eight years now. I still look.