11. Chapter 11

When the kiss ended, they were back in the cave, Ben on his cot and Rey perched beside him. Rey's hands were in his hair, one of Ben's lingering under her chin. To the uninformed onlooker, they had never moved at all, save for Ben to reach out, Rey to lean in, and their lips to meet. But there were no onlookers—Chewbacca had taken his leave, not that they noticed. They pulled barely an inch apart, just to look at one another, to drink in the real, living, breathing versions of their other halves. Their eyes searched each other's as if for answers to serious questions.

Then they burst into laughter: unadulterated giggles from Rey and a soft chuckle in the back of Ben's throat. His was tentative, like he didn't quite trust it, but his smile was true. She didn't miss his shyness in accepting that this moment could be happy—that any moment could be happy—so she kissed him again, quickly this time, just a little extra convincing.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi." He reached up and meticulously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. His thumb lingered there, following the curve of her ear down to her jawline. "Rey."

"Ben."

"I like it when you say my name."

"I like saying your name. Good thing, too, since I've said it about a thousand times since you—since you brought me back." Rey kissed the palm of his hand, which was still tracing the shape of her face. "It's a good name. Much better than Kylo Ren."

A shadow flitted across Ben's face, and Rey realized she had overstepped. For her, perhaps, it was easy to jump feet first, but Ben's journey had been longer and much more complicated, and it was far from over.

"I'm sorry," she said, averting her eyes for the first time since they'd woken together. He gently guided her face back towards his.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Rey . . . you saved me."

"No." She shook her head, in part against the tears that were rising without her permission. "No, I didn't. You saved yourself."

"I couldn't have done it without you."

She bit her lip, but the tears fell anyway. She wiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand. "We saved each other. Can we at least agree on that?"

He nodded. The gentleness in his brown eyes surprised her. She was used to seeing intensity when she looked at him, or barely bridled anger—that is, when they weren't fighting. Images of his face flashed before her eyes, a chaotic collection of firsts: the first time he took off his mask, the first time the Force had brought them together across space, the first time he had asked her to join him. Somehow she had seen the truth in each one of those firsts, even if he had not seen it in himself.

"Good," she said, very matter-of-fact. "That's settled, then. How are you feeling?"

Instead of answering, every muscle in Ben's body tensed, his gaze drawn as if by magnet past Rey's shoulder. Rey turned, heartrate skyrocketing.

"So," Finn said, "he's awake."

He was flanked on either side by Poe and Chewbacca, who gave Rey an apologetic look. She must have been under for a while.

No one answered. Ben's body trembled against Rey's hips, but she didn't think the emotion he was feeling was anger—not quite.

Finn, on the other hand, was bristling with it. "Good," he said. "Now we can decide what to do with him." He turned on his heel and stalked out.

"Finn!" Rey jumped to her feet and started after him, then paused to glance back at Ben, who simply nodded, assuring her he'd be all right on his own for a moment. Chewbacca voiced his agreement, so Rey put aside her reservations and went running after her friend.

He had only made it as far as the entrance to the cave system. The forest beyond was experiencing time like Rey had not been since she got here, and the light of late afternoon was failing in the trees. Even so, Rey had to blink several times for her eyes to adjust, not only to the light but to everything else; the cavern was packed with people, ships, and equipment, and the noise of it all was thrown into the vaults of the cave. The stimulation was almost too much for her, and she realized now just how removed she had been from everything for the last couple of days. She pushed the extraneous stimuli to the side and focused on Finn's retreating back.

"Finn, wait!" Rey knew she was attracting attention, attention she didn't want, but she forced herself not to care. "Please!"

Seemingly against his will, Finn stopped. He turned around slowly as she approached, his fists clenched like he was ready for a fight. He had already decided how to feel. Still, she had to try.

"Why did you bring him here, Rey?" The note of pleading in his tone caught her off guard. "Why?"

"I wouldn't be alive without him," Rey said. "He—"

"Saved you, yeah, I know. Poe told me." Finn moved closer, lowering his voice so no one could overhear. "Do you really think he did that out of the goodness of his heart? He wants something from you, Rey. He always does."

Rey shook her head. "You don't understand. He's different now. He's changed."

"Come on," Finn said with raw frustration. "You can't really believe that. I've known him a lot longer than you, Rey. Do you honestly think someone like him could change overnight?"

"You don't know him," she said weakly.

"I know he's killed hundreds of people. Not just ordered it, he did it himself. He killed his own father. He's the reason Leia's dead."

"She sacrificed herself to give him a second chance." She was fighting back tears again, and she hated it. The hardest part about this that Finn wasn't wrong. Everything he was saying had a grain of truth to it, if not more. "Would you throw that sacrifice away?"

"No," Finn said, offended. "But I'm not about to take it for granted, either. Just because he's her son doesn't absolve him of his crimes. And it doesn't mean he doesn't still want to destroy us."

"He doesn't."

"Yeah, well, we'll see. That'll be for a council to decide. Tonight."

And with that, Finn left her there, stranded in a sea of people avoiding eye contact, her heart caught in a storm of misgivings and dread.

A/N: We're getting into the hairy stuff now! Exciting. Just as a note, I'm very likely not going to update tomorrow, as I'll be spending the day with my family. But I'll be back ASAP! Wishing you all a peaceful holiday. If this is a stressful or difficult time for you, I wish you solace and hope, and know that I'm thinking about you! Lots of love for my Reylos 3