Chapter 21 Why am I on Fire? by Yojimbra

Pregnant wife.

Pregnant wife.

Pregnant wife.

Pregnant wife.

"Endeavour! Do you have any thoughts on the upcoming election? Any candidates that you support?"

"Pregnant wife."

"Uhh."

I blinked and found myself going cross eyed at the microphone that had been shoved in my face and the camera that was behind the woman. The man holding the microphone was tall, skinny, and had short spiky hair. I felt like I had seen him on the internet at some point. I stared at him for a few seconds before I responded with a very profound, "Uhh."

Maki came between us, pushing me back and talking directly into the microphone while flipping her hair. "Sorry about that, all Endeavour has been thinking about recently is his pregnant wife."

"Oh!" The man took the microphone back and spoke into it. "Well that's much more exciting than politics, how far along is she."

"Four months." I muttered, still trying to remember what exactly four months meant. How many weeks was that? Why did my brain not remember weeks! Dates were easier, dividing things by seven in addition to trying to remember how many days were in each month was confusing.

How many days were even in August? Was Halloween on the thirtieth or the thirty-first? Or was it on the thirteenth. Wait, that last one was a meme.

"Well, if that isn't the response of an excited father I don't know what is. But, tell us Endeavour, isn't this your third child?" The reporter shoved the microphone back into my face.

I stared at it again, once again going crossed eyed. "Uhh. Touya, Fuyumi, yes! Three."

Three!

Pregnant wife!

Wait! Three needed a name? Was I supposed to name it Natsuo? What about Shoto? It was too young for Natsuo, too old for Shoto. What if he didn't come out a boy, but instead came out as a she, then she would need a new name! Could I just call her Shoko? Was that a real name or was that something that was just made up because it kind of sounded like a real name but also kinda like Shoto. Would Rei slap me if I suggested that name? What did she want to call it?

I should stop thinking of my child as an it.

I wanted to scream.

When was Rei able to go and find out what was in her belly? What if it was twins? Then I could call them both Natsuo and Shoto. Wait, what if they were both girls! And identical? Shoko and uhh, what was the female version of Natsuo? Uhh, uh, oh! Nami! That was a cute name! Nami, Nami.

I should run that one by Rei.

I reached out, grabbing the collar of a teenager that was too into their phone to notice the truck that was about to Isekai his ass. I looked at the spiky-haired blond kid and he looked at me. Those sunglasses looked familiar.

"Is Nami a good name for a girl?"

He blinked, his legs still acting like he was walking. "Yeah man! That sounds radical!"

"Kay," I put him down and watched him pay attention for a split second. "Watch where you're going."

"Sure thing man!"

He felt familiar.

"Wow!" The reporter said loudly, reminding me that I was technically being interviewed. This happened a lot. "You heard it here first folks! Endeavour is gauging names for a girl! Hopefully we'll have another hero on the rise in the near future!"

"Wait!" Maki flailed her arms. "He's just rambling, we don't know what the gender is yet!"

"Oh." The reporter frowned. "Well you heard it here folks, Endeavour has no idea what's going on, and neither do we! Still the future is looking bright, wouldn't you say big guy?"

Microphone in face again.

I knew exactly what to say.

"Pregnant wife."

"Insightful! That was Endeavour, everyone!"

We watched as the reporter and the camera left after thanking us for our time.

And then Maki hit me.

"Seriously!" She huffed, both hands on her hips. "Are you sure you should be working in the state you're in?"

I opened my mouth and held up my finger. "Babies need money."

"You're basically loaded dude."

"Rei kicked me out of the house and told me I had to do hero stuff before I drove her insane."

"That I believe."

Maki let out another sigh, shaking her head in annoyance. "Really, though, try to keep your head in the game."

I pointed towards the punk I saved. "I stopped him from getting runded over."

"Runded? That's not a word. Seriously. As cute as watching you being so dopey about your kids is, you need to get your head in the game, and start acting like the number two pro you are."

"You're right!" I stood tall and rolled my shoulder for a few seconds. Time to get my head in the game, and to focus on this patrol, and— "Okay, how do I do that?"

Maki sighed and pinched her nose. "I can't believe you're my boss."

I just smiled and resumed our patrol through the city, once again praying for an easy day, only for it to be overrun by at least a dozen rescues, one mild crisis, and a much-needed ice cream trip in the middle of November for some crying kid that destroyed a bus when his quirk activated. So yeah, ever so slightly mildly average day.

Apparently Rei had been watching the news and saw that I was having ice cream with some kid and decided to text me.

Rei: I want ice cream. Something with brownie.

Rei: and cookies.

Rei: and caramel.

I had two thoughts at that text. The first was, when did pregnancy cravings start? And the second, wouldn't that be what Rei lactated?

I kept both those thoughts to myself and listened to my wife. As I brought home dinner, I went out and got chocolate ice cream that had everything in it.

XXXX

"Papa!"

Fuyumi used Leg Tackle!

It wasn't very effective!

"Hey Fuyuyu, did you take care of Mama today?" I asked, holding my leg up so I could look my daughter in the eye for a few moments before she fell to the ground. The duality of Touya crying if he got a small cut on his arm and Fuyumi's ability to bounce off a wall going full speed didn't escape me. I briefly wondered if not feeling pain was just some side effect of her quirk.

As long as she was a happy kid, who were we to complain?

Fuyumi just smiled at me with a tooth filled grin and nodded. "Yep! I even made her tea! Mama says I make it super good!"

"I'll have to try some then! Now come on, let's go eat alright?" I placed the groceries down and picked Fuyumi up so she could ride on my shoulder like the monkey she was. Seriously, her climbing ability was greater than Touya's by a wide mile, mostly because she had no fear when it came to climbing. In about two years, it'd be time for her to start going to school as well.

Which meant that, depending on where our next child landed, it could be six or seven years until Rei can have a kid-free couple of hours each day.

Assuming she didn't pull a Thor and shout another while throwing the condoms in the trash.

"What'd you get us?"

"Sushi."

"Hmmm, yummy!"

On our way to the dining room I passed by the kitchen and saw Rei leaning against the counter, her shirt rolled up casually to show off the still-forming taut bump in her otherwise slender stomach. It was oddly beautiful in a way, especially with how happily she was smiling while enjoying her tea. And she was talking to someone, a friend?

Opposite of her, sipping on her own tea, was a woman with long, straight, red hair that went all the way to her knees. She had a kind face and purple eyes. Deja Vu was something I had felt many times since I joined this world, and this woman was no exception.

I glanced up towards Fuyumi, "You didn't tell me someone else was here."

"Oops?" Fuyumi shrugged on my shoulder.

"Oh, Enji." Rei's face lit up as she looked at me. "Did you bring the ice cream?"

I felt so loved.

"Yep, Sushi too."

"Sushi and ice cream?" the red haired woman asked. "You two really know how to party. I'd prefer ramen myself, but hey, to each their own."

I looked at Rei confused.

Rei smiled and waved me over. "Enji, this is Kushina, she's a friend of mine that just came back into town."

My writer senses were telling me that I couldn't trust Kushina at all, given how Rei just became pregnant and this would totally make some kind of elaborate plot hook that would get the reader invested as the betrayal took form. But the trusting dad of two and a half took over and I smiled at her. "Nice to meet you Kushina."

"Oh, so this is the man I've been hearing so much about." Kushina laughed and bounced over to me, getting really up close and personal as she did so. "Hmm, I like his hair color, and he looks like he's a bit on the slow side, still, nice to meet you boss!"

"Boss?" I asked.

"Oh, uhh, remember when I had Fuyumi and I needed you to hire a nanny for a few months?" Rei asked, wincing slightly.

I nodded, digging into Endeavour's memories. At the time Rei had been rather frail and sickly and could barely function let alone watch a three year old at the same time. God, Endeavour was such a dick. "So you decided to offer the position to Kushina?"

"Yep!" Kushina jumped back a few feet and struck a dynamic pose. How old was this woman? "Don't worry, I'll be the best super nanny in the world!"

I blinked and looked towards Rei. "Is she qualified?"

"She has a degree in child development and she's aiming to become a kindergarten teacher, so yeah, she's qualified." Rei gave a light laugh smiling at her friend.

There was no way I was going to say no to this. Less stress for Rei, and her being able to spend time with a friend was a win in my book.

"Alright, Kushina, welcome to the family."

XXXX

After going over her duties—which really just meant Rei telling me what they had already discussed—and the fact that Kushina would be taking over Rei's old room—she needed a place to stay—the night was on its way to coming to a close. Kushina started immediately, taking care of giving the kids a bath, while I performed my duty as a doting husband and began to massage my wife's feet while we relaxed in the living room.

It was then that I got a call for All Might.

Without thinking about it, I answered it.

"Enji." His voice sounded heavy. Stressed. Desperate. "We found him."

My stomach dropped.