What Does It Mean To Be A Hero?

"What are ye doin' here kid?! You're gonna get yerself killed!" One of the people in the crowd shouted out. Their screams silenced as I came head to head with what looked like a mixture between Zeus and Ono, standing on top of a building while pointing a staff at everybody. By some extravagant chance, I was standing still with my arms sprawled out to receive the attack, knowing he wouldn't shoot at me if our theories had been right.

And they were.

"He doesn't want you! He wants to fish me out, don't you?! Ono?!" I yelled out to him and the mixture of two faces occurring in Ono's body began to smile.

"Now, how in the world did you figure that out?" He asked me. So far, all of our theorizing had been correct! Now, how do I get these people out of here?

"Slowly walk away, toward that building. Hey! Ruby! Ipa! Escort these guys out of here!" I yelled out to my friends. They listened well and walked up behind me, trying to guide everybody out.

"Nobody leaves this area while I'm here, otherwise I'll shoot. Come on, Potion Mortal, do you really think I don't know about your ability?! If I hit you, you'll heal yourself, but they'll all be dead. Good thing you'll be alive, right?" Zeus asked me.

It was like he knew my weakness, so, this would be the ultimate test of strength here, wouldn't it? I don't want him to have that impression of me...

I emptied every last potion onto the ground and smashed them under the heel of my boot, staring Zeus dead in the eyes as I rubbed the broken glass into the dirt road with the liquid seeping out.

"I don't have any special right to live over these people. I'm the Hero, it's my job to take the hits so they don't have to. Go ahead, hit me, test me." I told him.

Before I could even finish, Zeus launched an attack on me. A skill just like a [Bullet], enhanced with the speed from the air element, shot into my stomach at a high speed. I didn't bleed at all, but my health took quite a large hit. I was down about 20% of my health now, but everybody behind me was safe.

"Anima! Hey! Quit the Hero bullshit, hit the idiot!" Ipa yelled out to me.

"I might be an idiot, but this runs much deeper than my guilt! You wouldn't understand, I'm sorry, but I can't explain right now. So, Zeus is that all you have?! HIT ME!" I yelled out again. The people started to evacuate as my arms were out, blocking anybody behind me.

"Come on, you can't be that damaged from that attack. I can hit you plenty more times." Zeus told me as he sent another [Bullet] into my leg. The muscles in my leg seized up and I fell to my knee. The pain from that attack hurt worse than any other, and now I had a status debuff?

[Injured] was a status debuff that slowed me by 75% and reduced my attack output by 40%. I couldn't even attack if I wanted to now, could I?

Yet another [Bullet] hit me in the arm and my health dropped again. My total health was 65% under the total amount now.

"How many do you think you can take again? I have over a million mana to expend, want to see my limits? You can use one of your potions if you'd like." Zeus said, trying to entice me.

"I don't have any," I explained to him, standing up again by putting my weight on my opposite leg.

"Okay, that's enough of this! Ono, if you don't stop, we'll kill you! Is that what you want?!" Tama shouted out for me, in place of my voice.

"Anima stop with this shit! Nobody is impressed with your ability to take hits! Just drink one of your potions!" Ipa shouted out again.

"I told you... this isn't what this is about! It's not about acting strong or getting praise! I'm a failure! A sorry excuse for a damn hero! This is the only thing I know how to do right! Just let me do it!" I yelled at Ipa, and he soon shut his mouth. Maybe he understood me.

"What's going on? This isn't Anima, is it?" Ruby asked everybody standing around her, but did they even know?

They hardly knew me, they didn't know why I hated myself so much for being such a coward.

The Heroes in my world only sacrificed themselves and they were heroic. How do I be a Hero? I didn't want to be here, I didn't know what I was doing. How do I be a Hero? I just take hits like this, right? Until my life is over?

Goddammit! Please, why don't I know how to be a Hero?

Why was this getting in the way?! I had a plan! Now I can help but feel guilty for absolutely nothing! Why do I feel like this?! I can't think about anything other than this guilt. This wasn't like me, Ruby was right. But I don't know anything else. How do I be a Hero? That question was so subjective. Like the man in the blue and red suit? Like the people who risk their lives to save others? Who would save the world over the people they love?

No... I understand where this is coming from...

I can't be a Hero if I'm trying to fill somebody else's shoes. I don't have my own goals, I have other people's goals.

I'm so worried about seeming like a Hero to everybody else that I'm missing the point completely. I'm trying to be other heroes, not a hero.

That's why I was summoned here. Everybody was right, I'm an idiot for just taking these hits. I was so focused on filling in the requirements to be a hero in everybody else's eyes that my judgment was clouded the entire time.

Right now, I would be a great Hero if this was some fantasy world, but that's not it. I'm here, and I might care about everybody, but I can't save this world if I'm dead.

I bent down, cupping my hands and picking up the red liquid on the floor filled with tiny shards of glass, and putting them all in my mouth as my health regenerated and I had all status effects removed from me. My health was replenished to [350] and I stood up again to face Zeus.

"That desperate huh? Looks like I was right. So, I can kill all of the people hiding behind that building, can't I?" Zeus asked me with a sadistic smile.

"You can try. But, I have to warn you, I hurt a lot more when you make me mad." I told him.

I bit off the flesh near my thumb and coated the top of [Titans Wand +4] in it, which would increase the attack power and potency of the skill. On top of that, using [Dismanip] increased the speed of the next attack. I used [Impale] on Zeus and sent a thin spear right through the right side of his wavy hair, cutting it and scaring him with the sheer speed of the attack.

"The next one won't be a warning shot," I told him, priming my weapon for another attack.

For a moment there, I became the annoying kid I always hated in anime and manga. I can't keep thinking like that. It's a moment of pathetic weakness and I'll be ashamed of it for a long time thinking that I should be somebody else.

I'm my own Hero. And that would be Zeus's downfall. Thinking that I'm more inclined to save others than myself. Come on, I'm a selfish prick, I couldn't care less about the lives of the people around me. Sure, I would do it to save my own reputation, but to think that I give a shit about their lives over my own? Don't be ridiculous, nobody in the own world thinks like that!

Don't worry, innocent people, I'll kill him in a fit of rage I'll get over. I couldn't help but smile as I shot off the next attack toward Zeus. I no longer cared about preserving Ono's life, and I wouldn't stop attacking him until he begged me for mercy.