5. Chapter 5

Christmas was so much fun, the twins, loving their presents and getting to spend time with Andrea who came over in the afternoon. Mason, Laila, and Josie were also supposed to join them, but Mason had texted Maya telling her that Laila wasn't feeling well and they didn't want to risk spreading anything so they stayed home. Travis and Vic also dropped by for a little bit to bring the twins their presents and spend some time with them before going to Vic's parents' restaurant.

The girls spent almost an hour in the garage practicing riding their new bikes, Rowan dressed in her dress up scrubs and Nora dressed in her dress up turnouts. Maya and Carina got lots of pictures and just enjoyed their time with the girls.

The time between Christmas and the twins' birthday on January 1st involved a lot of work for Maya and Carina which was pretty typical for that time of year. They had fun celebrating the twins' birthday with a party on the 3rd which both girls loved because all their favorite people were there. Maya and Carina had the special days for the girls planned for slightly later in January.

They also really enjoyed celebrating Epiphany, the girls loving getting little chocolates and a few small toys and eating all the yummy food Carina made.

January 11th was Nora's turn to have her special day. Laila had offered to take Rowan for the day, knowing that the toddler was almost never in daycare without her sister and she also enjoyed having time with her nieces.

The morning of Nora's cooking class started off a little less than ideal. Maya had woken up three hours before her alarm feeling not quite right.

As she rolled over in bed to try to get mor comfortable, she realized she had not only started her period but also had wicked cramps. She couldn't get comfortable, getting out of bed and popping some Midol before crawling back into bed with her heating pad to wrap around her belly.

As she laid there, she realized that this meant she needed to call Dr. Howard once the office opened and get her injections and start the process of getting ready for a transfer.

As soon as she realized this, she knew all hopes of sleeping were gone despite the early morning hour. She decided to get up so she didn't disturb Carina, bringing her heating pad with her downstairs to the couch, grabbing a blanket from their blanket basket and curling up with it.

She pulled out her phone, opening her notes app and starting to go through everything that needed to be done today. Her brain was a buzz with anxiety and she knew this would be the best way to at least semi-calm herself down.

She started with everything that needed to happen this morning from calling Dr. Howard to making sure they had everything in Rowan's bag to take to Laila's as well as Nora's bag to take with them. She added stopping at the pharmacy to get her meds to the list along with Carina actually giving her the injection tonight. Leaving Rowan's car seat with Laila went on the list as well as making sure she had the printout of the confirmation of the class they were going to.

The class was a toddler cooking class at the children's museum that Maya had found and instantly thought of Nora because the little girl was always in the kitchen with Carina and loved it so much. It was a two-and-a-half-hour class, though it supposedly had a story time and also included eating the food they made along with other activities so the kids wouldn't get bored. It was for kids ages 3-5 meaning Nora was barely old enough, but both girls were pretty mature for their age so they weren't too worried.

Once the list of things to get done today was done, Maya moved on to her emails, checking them and responding to the ones that needed her attention. She also scrolled through her Instagram for a while, just trying to numb the anxiety which didn't really work.

She then decided to try some meditation to calm her still racing brain. She found a longer meditation session, turning it on and resting her head on a pillow, keeping the heating pad tucked against her still achy abdomen as she listened to the voice on the app. It didn't fully calm her down, but she did feel a little better and more relaxed.

She allowed her mind to drift onto the transfer again, thinking about what the next few weeks would be like, trying not to think too much about the transfer.

She had finished her document about different options they had, talking to Carina about their various different choices. They quickly ruled out a few of them like international adoption because they didn't feel equipped for that. They also decided if they adopted, they would only do it if the child was younger than the twins because they didn't feel it would be a good fit for their family. They had ultimately landed on if this transfer didn't work, they would pursue two or three rounds of IUI before moving on to something else which would either be an infant adoption or embryo donation.

Maya didn't know how to feel about any of it. She really just wanted this to work, for their family to have something happy come this year. It had been over eleven months since Carina's cancer diagnosis and while things were pretty much back to normal with her health wise, emotionally, both of them were still very raw about the whole thing, understandably so.

Around 5, her alarm went off for her to get up for her run. She seriously considered going for her run, but her stomach still didn't feel great and she was so tired so she shut off the alarm and just tried to relax again.

She wasn't sure how long she ended up just lying there, staring into the middle distance, but the next thing she knew, she heard feet coming down the stairs, sitting up and seeing Rowan coming down the stairs followed closely behind by Carina carrying Nora. Maya grabbed her phone, realizing it was already 7:30.

"Bambina, what are you doing down here?" Carina asked, walking into the living room, clearly concerned, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," Maya said, reaching for Nora who was clearly still trying to wake up, "I just woke up with pretty bad cramps at 2 and I couldn't get comfortable so I came down here so I didn't wake you up. And then I just didn't feel up to a run either."

"Did you take something?" Carina asked, sitting down next to her wife.

"Yeah," Maya nodded, "And it worked ok. I'll be fine, I just didn't feel up to a run."

"Ok," Carina said, rubbing her back a little.

She knew it took a lot to keep her wife from running, but she also knew there were times when Maya had absolutely miserable cramping during her period. It was then that it dawned on Carina what also might be going on.

"Bambina, did you still want to do another transfer this cycle?" Carina asked gently, not wanting to put any pressure on Maya but also needed to know what the plan was.

"Yeah," Maya nodded, "I was also thinking about that. I need to call Dr. Howard at 8 and get her to send over the prescriptions."

Carina pulled her wife and also her daughter into a hug, kissing the top of Maya's head, knowing that might have also played into why Maya didn't go running. Running was often her release and helped relax her anxiety, but Carina also knew there were days when she was so overwhelmed that running was too much.

The Italian's heart always broke when Maya got that way, but it also made her feel slightly happy because Maya allowed herself to not run if she didn't feel like it without feeling guilty and was allowed to listen to her body unlike when she was a child and honestly until fairly recently.

"Are you still feeling up to going to Nora's cooking class?" Carina asked softly as she played with Maya's hair, "If not, I can take her by myself and you can just rest."

"No," Maya said, "No, I'm fine for that. I also probably would have been fine for a run, but I was just so tired and the heating pad sounded so much better than a run, but I am totally fine to go today. I'm excited about it."

"Me too," Carina smiled, looking down at Nora who was more awake in Maya's arms now, "What about you Piccola? Are you excited to go to a cooking class with me and Mommy?"

"Si," Nora said, pulling her fingers out of her mouth, "Wight now?"

"After we have breakfast and take Rowan to Aunt Laila and Uncle Mason's," Maya said, "What do you want for breakfast today?"

"Um, omeal," Nora said, "With boobies."

"Oatmeal with blueberries it is," Maya laughed, "Do you want to go play with Rowan?"

Nora nodded, getting down off the couch and going to find her sister while Maya and Carina got up, going into the kitchen to make breakfast. Once the girls had eaten and were dressed, Maya and Carina took turns getting ready while the other one got everything packed up for the day, Maya calling Dr. Howard and getting her medication sent to the pharmacy for them to pick up after the cooking class. By 9:15, the family was in the car, the twins in their newly forward-facing car seats. They drove to Laila and Mason's, Nora and Rowan both excited. "Alright," Maya said as they pulled into the driveway, "Rowan, ready to go play?" "Me too Mommy?" Nora said as Maya got out of the car to get Rowan.

"No, you are going to come with me and Mamma for cooking class, remember?" Maya said as she waited for Rowan to get her buckle off.

"I wanna pway with Auntie Yaiya and Dosie," Nora said.

"Piccola, don't you want to spend the day with me and Mommy?" Carina said, turning and looking at the toddler.

"Si," Nora said, "But I want to pway here first."

"We don't have time this morning Nora," Maya said as Rowan successfully unbuckled herself, Maya working quickly to get the car seat out of the car, "But maybe you can play when we come back to pick up Rowan."

"Fine," Nora sighed, crossing her arms.

"Rowan, say bye to Mamma and Nora," Maya said as she successfully got the car seat out.

"Bye," Rowan said as Carina leaned back, giving the toddler a kiss, "Ti boglio benny Mamma."

"Ti voglio bene Patatina," Carina said, "Be good for Zia Laila."

"Bye Noa," Rowan said, looking at her sister.

"Bye Owan," Nora said, still clearly sad about not joining her sister.

"Alright," Maya said, "Come on Ro."

Rowan got out of the car, Maya carrying her bag and car seat before walking up to the door.

"Hey," Laila said, answering the door, Josie running up behind her, "Come on in."

"Thank you so much for taking Rowan this morning," Maya said, walking into the house with Rowan.

"Of course," Laila said, taking Rowan's bag from Maya, "Josie is very excited to have someone to play with this morning."

"Well, Nora is pretty disappointed she isn't playing this morning," Maya said, shaking her head, "I don't think she really knows what a cooking class means, but she knows playing here is fun and she's not doing it so she's sad."

"Oh no," Laila said, laughing, "Well, maybe she can come play after her class. Mason and I were actually talking before he went to work this morning and we were wondering if maybe you wanted me to just keep Rowan until diner time and then all of you can come over for dinner?"

"Um, sure," Maya said, "I mean, I need to check with Carina, but I think that would be fine. Are you sure you want her here all day? She is pretty busy."

"So is Jo," Laila shrugged, "We will be fine."

"Ok," Maya said, "Well, I will let you know what Carina says. I've gotta get going. Rowan, be good for Aunt Laila, ok? And make sure you tell her if you need to go to the bathroom."

"Otay Mommy," Rowan said, giving Maya a hug, "I lub you."

"I love you too," Maya said, "Have fun. Laila, thank you so much."

"Of course," Laila said as Maya headed out the door.

The blonde got back in the car, finding Nora and Carina singing an Italian children's song.

"Are you two having fun?" Maya said as she started backing the car out.

"Si," Nora giggled, "We are singing."

"I hear that," Maya said.

"But I still want to pway with Dosie," Nora sighed, frowning a little bit."

"Well, Aunt Laila invited us over for dinner tonight if we want to go," Maya said, looking over at Carina.

"Sounds good to me," Carina nodded, "So we will go get Rowan after the museum and then go back for dinner?"

"Actually, Laila offered to keep Rowan all afternoon too," Maya said as she headed toward the highway, "So we can just go over there after Nora's nap."

"Ok," Carina agreed, "It would give us the whole day just with Piccola which would also be nice."

"Can you text Laila and let her know?" Maya asked.

"Sure," Carina nodded, "Did you hear that Nora? We are going to go have dinner with Zia Laila and Zio Mason."

"And Dosie?" Nora said, smile appearing on her face.

"Yes," Carina laughed, "And Josie."

"Yay," Nora said, doing a little dance in her seat.

"She's more excited about that than this cooking class," Maya said, shaking her head.

"She just doesn't know what we are really doing today," Carina said as she finished texting Laila, "She's going to have fun."

"Hopefully," Maya said, rubbing her forehead.

"How are you feeling Bambina?" Carina asked, noticing Maya seemed a little tense.

"I'm ok," Maya said, "I don't feel amazing, but I'm fine. I am excited about today and I'm not about to let some cramps and anxiety ruin it."

Carina reached across the console, grabbing one of Maya's hands and rubbing gentle circles on it.

"Maybe I can help you feel better while Nora is napping this afternoon," the Italian said, earning her a smile and slight blush from her wife.

"Maybe," Maya said, concentrating on driving though just the thought of Carina making her feel better later actually made her feel a little better in that moment.

They pulled up to the children's museum, Carina getting Nora out of the car and into her jacket while Maya grabbed what used to be their diaper bag but was now just their going out bag that always had extra clothes, snacks, and drinks along with a small first aid kit.

"Ready to go?" Maya asked, walking around to the other side of the car where Nora was standing with Carina.

"Why are we here?" Nora asked, looking at the children's museum.

"This is where the cooking class is," Maya said, grabbing one of Nora's hands while Carina held the other, "Are you excited now?"

"Maybe," Nora said, still thinking.

"I think you are going to have fun," Carina said, "But if you don't, that is also ok. And Mommy and I will be there with you the whole time."

"Otay," Nora said, looking between Maya and Carina and getting a reassuring look from both of them.

They walked into the museum, going up to the cooking lab where there were a few other people already there.

"Hello," a woman at the door said, "Are you here for the parent child cooking class?"

"We are," Maya said, walking up to the table, "This is Nora Bishop-Deluca."

"Alright," the woman said, looking at her registration, "It says here that two parents will be joining."

"Yes, my wife and I," Maya said, "I'm Maya and this is Carina."

"Perfect," the woman said, "Here are your name tags. We have aprons over there for the adults and Nora, here is your apron and chef's hat."

"Look Nora," Carina said, taking the apron, "It has your name on it."

"Dat's an N," Nora said, "And O R A."

"That's right," Maya said, smiling, "That spells Nora. It's just for you. Can you say thank you?"

"Gwazie," Nora said bashfully to the woman.

"Prego," the woman said, smiling as Nora's eyes got big hearing someone else besides her parents and Zio speak Italian.

"Mamma, she talks yike you," Nora said, looking at Carina.

"Si," Carina smiled, "Parli Italiano?"

"Solo un po," the woman said, "I spent a semester in Rome in college, but that was two years ago and I didn't retain much."

Before they could talk more, another family walked in so Maya, Carina, and Nora moved on to getting aprons.

"Alright," the woman at the aprons said, "You can pick any of these here and then Jen over there has a station for you."

"Thank you," Maya said as they grabbed aprons and made their way over to the station Jen was directing them to.

"Here you go," she said, "And there is an area over here you can hang your bag and coats on if you want. And we have some water if anyone needs some."

"Thank you," Carina said as they took off their jackets, Maya taking all of them along with the bag to hang up before coming back, finding Carina helping Nora with her apron on.

"Yook Mommy," Nora said, "It's Noa."

"It is," Maya smiled, "You look so cute. Do you want to wear your hat?"

Nora nodded, Maya helping her secure the hat around her head, Carina snapping about a million pictures after she was all ready.

"You look so cute Piccola," Carina said, "Bambina, get in the picture with her."

"Would you like me to take one of all of you?" someone asked, coming up behind Carina.

"Oh, si," Carina said, turning around and seeing another parent standing there.

"Alright," the woman said as Carina stood next to Maya who was holding Nora between them.

"Thank you," Carina said, taking her phone back.

"Of course," the woman said, "I'm Kayla by the way."

"Carina," the Italian said, "And this is my wife Maya and our daughter Nora."

"Nice to meet you," Kayla said, pointing to the station right next to them were a boy who looked maybe a year older than Nora was standing pretending to mix something in a bowl, "My son Auden is right over there."

"Nice to meet you," Maya said, "Have you ever done this class before?"

"My wife brought Auden last year," Kayla said, "I had to work, but this year is my turn. They had a great time though."

Just then, they heard a crash and looked over to see Auden had dropped his bowl on the floor and looked to be on the verge of tears.

"It's ok," Kayla said rushing over to him.

Carina looked at Maya and smiled. It wasn't often that they went to public events that had other LGBTQ parents at them and no one in their immediate circles were either. They had tried out a playgroup for other LGBTQ families, but it never worked out with their schedule and they didn't really feel like they ever found their fit in that group. It was always nice to just meet other families that were like theirs when they were out in public.

Just a few minutes later, the class started, everyone going around the room and saying their name and favorite food, Maya feeling very uncomfortable the entire time but relaxing a tiny bit when she felt Carina grab her hand.

Soon enough, they were starting their cooking. They were given the recipes and ingredients to make them. They would be making pizza along with cupcakes and something called cucumber boats. The started with the pizza dough so it would have time to rise while they made everything else.

Nora loved every second of helping, especially enjoying not having to share the measuring and dumping with anyone else. It was adorable and Maya and Carina took turns cooking with her while the other one snapped pictures and took short videos.

"Are you having fun Piccola?" Carina asked as she added the vanilla to the cupcake batter.

"Si," Nora nodded, a huge smile on her face that reminded Carina so much of Maya it almost took her breath away.

Nora was a genuinely happy toddler, but she didn't show big emotions often, unlike her sister, but when they got a smile like this, it was pure gold.

"I love you Elenora Mason," Carina said, pressing a kiss to the little brunette's forehead.

Maya smiled as she watched the interaction, taking several pictures, trying hard to capture just how happy the toddler was. Nora loved getting to help with everything but chopping the veggies with the special knives the museum provided was her absolute favorite.

"We might have to get some of these," Carina said as she watched Nora chop a mushroom, "She is pretty good at using them and she really likes them. Plus, it is probably very good for her hand eye coordination and motor skills."

"I think it's a good idea," Maya nodded.

"Mommy, I need more," Nora said, turning and looking at Maya.

"Ok," the blonde said, "What do you want to cut?"

"Ummm, peppa," Nora said, pointing to the half a red pepper that was sitting on their station, seeds already removed.

"Here you go Piccola," Maya said, giving it to her and making sure it was in a good position before letting the three-year-old start cutting.

"Yook Mommy," Nora said, "I'm tutting it."

"You are going such a good job," Maya nodded, "I am so proud of you. Are you proud of yourself?"

"Si," Nora nodded before focusing again on cutting her pepper.

The rest of the cooking part was fun, all three of them working together to make the pizza, Carina making a face when the family next to them put pineapple on their pizza.

"You don't have to eat it," Maya whispered in her ear.

"It is a crime against food," Carina mumbled under her beath.

"I know," Maya said, "But you cannot keep other people from breaking the law, only yourself."

Carina nodded, taking a deep breath and trying to concentrate on their pizza. Once the pizzas were done, they all went to another area in the room where the kids were read a story about baking and numbers, Nora sitting happily on Maya's lap while holding Carina's hand and playing with her rings as she listened. They then did some singing and dancing and played a game before the food was ready and they all sat down at tables to eat, Maya, Carina and Nora sitting at a table with Kayla and Auden.

"Mommy, yook, it's my zaza, dust yike we do at home," Nora said, pointing to their pizza.

"It is," Maya nodded, "Does it look good?"

"Si," Nora nodded, "Mamma, do you yike it too?"

"I do," Carina nodded, "You did such a good job. It looks very good."

"Wow," Kayla said as she looked over at their pizza, "That is a lot of veggies. How do you do it? I can't get him to touch a vegetable with a ten-foot pole."

"I don't know," Maya said honestly, "She has always loved vegetables."

"I blame genetics," Carina said as she put a piece of pizza on Nora's plate, "Maya eats more vegetables than anyone I know."

"Is she your only?" Kayla asked after she got a piece of pizza o Auden's plate.

"No," Carina said, "She is actually a twin. Her sister is hanging out with family today."

"Yikes, twins," Kayla said, "That must have been a lot."

"It was," Maya nodded, "But also, we only ever had twins so we didn't know any different."

"And they were pretty easy babies," Carina said, "I mean, they both had their moments, but no colic or reflux or allergies or anything. Do you have any others?"

"No," Kayla said, "We have talked about it, but we just aren't ready yet. Getting this little guy took quite a while and we aren't quite ready to do that again."

Maya and Carina both nodded, glancing at each other for a second before continuing with lunch. The rest of the meal went well, everyone decorating cupcakes before enjoying them for dessert.

Once that was done and all the extra food they had left was packed up, the class was over.

"Alright Nora, are you ready to go home?" Carina asked as they went to get their coats.

"Do we have to?" Nora asked.

"We do," Maya nodded, handing Carina her jacket, "Class is over and everyone had to go home for a nap."

"Oh," Nora said, frowning a little bit.

"Did you have fun today?" Carina asked, crouching down and helping Nora with her jacket.

"Si," Nora said, "I yike cooking wif Mommy and Mamma."

"Good," Carina said, giving the little girl a kiss on the cheek before standing up.

"Mommy, uppie," Nora said, looking at the blonde, "Pwease?"

"Alright," Maya said, handing the bag to Carina before scooping up Nora.

Nora smiled, kissing Maya's cheek as they headed out of the cooking room and toward the car.

"Mamma, tan we div a tuptate to Owan?" Nora asked as they headed out of the museum.

"Of course," Carina nodded, "We have an extra one."

"And a hat and bapron?" Nora asked.

"We'll see," Maya said, "But it is so nice of you to think about your sister. Do you miss her?"

"Si," Nora sighed, "I lub her."

"That is so nice Nora," Carina said, heart melting at hearing that, "Rowan loves you a lot too."

"Tan we do see her?" Nora asked as Maya set her in her car seat.

"We are going to go home first and have a nap," Maya said, "And the after nap, we can."

"Fine," Nora said, rubbing her eyes, clearly worn out from the busy morning.

They drove home, Nora miraculously staying awake the entire time.

"Why don't you do nap today?" Carina said, looking at her wife, "I have a few things to get done."

"Ok," Maya nodded, heading upstairs to put Nora to sleep.

After two books and a quick song, Nora was passed out in bed, Maya heading back downstairs, not finding her wife anywhere.

"Car," she called, walking around the whole house before checking the garage and seeing Carina's car was gone.

She had no idea where her wife was, a little disappointed she wasn't home. She went into the living room where the heating pad from this morning still was, plugging it back in and curling up on the couch, feeling her cramps returning with a vengeance, a wave of exhaustion rolling over her entire body as she sat down. She just laid down, pulling the blanket from earlier, allowing her body to relax a little bit.

She was somewhere between awake and asleep when she heard a door open, feeling a little disoriented as she sat up, looking over and seeing Carina walk in.

"Were you asleep?" the Italian asked gently, coming over and sitting down next to her wife, setting down what she was holding and opening her arms for Maya to climb into.

"Not really," the blonde said, "I was just resting. I don't feel super great, physically or mentally if I'm being honest."

"I'm sorry Bambina," Carina said, rubbing her hand up and down her wife's back.

"Where did you go?" Maya asked, looking at her.

"I ran out to the pharmacy to get your meds," Carina said, "And I also stopped and got you some coffee and a brownie if you want it."

"Thank you," Maya said, "I think coffee is exactly what I need. I'm so tired today."

"You can sleep," Carina said, playing with Maya's hair.

"No," she said, "I don't want to. I already know sleep isn't going to be easy over the next couple of weeks and I don't want a nap to make it worse."

"Ok," Carina said, "Well, here is your coffee."

"Thank you," Maya said, taking it and taking a sip, sighing as the warm caffeinated liquid filled her mouth.

"Did you want to do these injections at night again?" Carina asked, gesturing to the pharmacy bag.

"Yeah," Maya said, "I think it's the easiest since we tend to be home then the most often."

"Alright," Carina nodded, snaking one of her hands to her wife's stomach, gently rubbing circles on it.

"That feels so good," Maya said, leaning a little more on her wife.

"Do you want a little more pain relief?" Carina asked, moving the hem of Maya's pants some, sneaking her hand lower.

"Mmmm," Maya nodded, already feeling her body responding to Carina's touches, "We should probably go not on the couch. I don't want to make a mess."

"Ok," Carina said, helping Maya up to their room, the two of them deciding a hot shower would be the best place for pain relief this afternoon.

It took everything in Maya not to collapse right then and there in the shower as her wife made her feel so much better.

"Let's get you into bed Bambina," Carina said as Maya came down from her high, sleepy look overcoming her face.

"But what about you?" Maya asked, leaning heavily on Carina.

"I am ok for right now," Carina said, kissing the blonde's cheek, "You look like you might pass out."

"I don't want to sleep," Maya mumbled as Carina grabbed their towels.

"Just take a short nap," Carina said, guiding her into the bedroom, "Your body is clearly telling you you need it."

"Don't let me sleep too long," Maya said as she pulled on a t-shirt and some underwear before climbing into bed.

"I won't," Carina said, "Do you want me to join you?"

Maya nodded, reaching for the Italian, causing her to laugh as she slipped into bed.

"Just sleep Bambina," Carina said, kissing the top of her head, "I'm right here."

Maya ended up getting a good hour-long nap which Carina was happy about because she could tell her wife needed it. The Italian was much more apprehensive going into this transfer because of how rough the last one had been, but she was hoping that this time would be a little smoother and that they would communicate better about how they were feeling. Maya was already doing better with that in letting Carina know she didn't feel well and that she was anxious and allowing her to help with that.

Once Maya and Nora were awake, they headed over to Mason and Laila's for dinner, Nora very excited to see her sister again which Maya and Carina both thought it was adorable. They really loved the bond the girls had and hoped that it would just continue to grow.

When they got to Mason and Laila's, Carina helped Nora out of the car before the toddler ran toward the door, knocking on it with her little fist.

"Nora, be patient," Maya said as she and Carina made their way to the door as well.

Just then, the door opened.

"Rowan, Josie, Nora is here," Laila called, "Come on in guys."

"Thanks," Maya said as the three of them stepped in the door, Nora immediately ripping off her shoes as Rowan and Josie came running.

"Noa," Rowan said, throwing her arms around her sister.

"I missed you Owan," Nora said, hugging her tightly back, Maya feeling tears welling up in her eyes as she watched the whole interaction.

"You ok Bambina?" Carina whispered as she watched Maya wiping her eyes.

"Just hormonal," Maya whispered back, blinking a little bit to get the tears to stop, "I'm fine."

Carina nodded, rubbing her back a little bit before slipping off her own shoes.

"How was cooking class?" Laila asked as they walked into the house, the girls all running off to play in Laila's room.

"It was fun," Carina said, "Nora had a great time."

"Was it weird only having one kid?" Laila asked as they sat down.

"A little bit," Maya nodded, "We don't do a lot with one and not the other, but I think this is showing me we probably need to change that. I mean, one of us will take one of them and the other will take the other, but there have been very few times where it is both of us and only one of them."

"Si," Carina nodded, "I think we are going to have to prioritize that more, especially now that they are getting older and have their own interests."

"How was Rowan today?" Maya asked, "Did she give you any problems?"

"No," Laila said, "She was an angel. She actually was very helpful keeping Josie busy all day. Normally, I don't get a lot done when she is awake because she needs to be watched all the time."

"18 months is a hard age," Carina agreed, "The girls were into everything."

Just then, the door opened, Mason coming into the house.

"Hey," he said as he came into the room, giving Laila a quick kiss before also giving Maya and Carina a hug, "How is everyone?"

"Good," Laila said, smiling at her husband, "How was work?"

"It was fine," Mason said, "We are still settling into this new semester, but I got to introduce my favorite project today so that was good. I'm gonna go change. I'll be right back."

Mason went down the hall, everyone hearing Josie yelling "Daddy" as Mason popped into the room to say hi.

"She loves her daddy," Laila smiled.

Carina glanced over, realizing something seemed a little different about Laila, having a suspicion about what it was but deciding not to say anything.

All of a sudden, they heard little feet running, all three toddlers running into the living room holding hands, Josie between Nora and Rowan.

"What are you three doing?" Laila asked, laughing.

"We are a twain," Rowan said, "We habe to go. Bye."

"Bye," Nora and Josie also called, the three of them running out of the room again.

The next hour or so was relaxed, the twins and Josie playing while the adults chatted before ordering dinner. Dinner came and everyone sat down to eat, enjoying their time together, something that didn't get to happen often, especially now that Laila was back to working part time.

Once dinner was over, they decided to let the kids play a little more while the adults talked.

"So, we actually have something to tell you," Mason said as they sat on the couch, holding Laila's hand.

"Is everything ok?" Maya asked, worried for her brother and sister-in-law.

"Yeah," Laila said, "Everything is fine. Actually, it's better than fine. We are expecting."

"Congratulations," Carina said, already having her suspicions, glancing at her wife and noticing a quick succession on emotions flashing across her face before it settled on what Carina knew was forced happiness.

"Yeah, congratulations," Maya said, getting up to give Mason and Laila a hug, "I didn't even realize you guys were ready for another one."

"Neither did we," Mason said, hand on the back of his neck, "We weren't really trying or anything. It just kinda…happened."

"Well, congratulations," Carina said, also giving them hugs.

"Thank you," Laila said, "Once we got over the shock, we were pretty excited."

"Yeah," Mason nodded, "And Josie and Baby #2 will be close in age, which Laila was with her sister and she said it was really good when they were growing up."

"Yeah," Laila agreed.

"When are you due?" Carina asked, feeling Maya's hand finding its way into hers, knowing just from the way she was holding on that her wife was struggling in this moment.

"July 19th," Laila said, "I'm about 13 weeks along. "

"How have you been feeling?" Carina asked.

"It's getting better," Laila said, "The first trimester was a little tough with morning sickness, but that has gotten better over the past week and a half."

"Good," Carina said, nodding.

Before anyone could say anything else, the kids all came back into the living room with plates of pretend food, giving them to the adults. This little game lasted for a little while before it was time for the Bishop-Deluca's to leave.

"Thank you so much for watching Rowan for us today," Maya said as they got the girls' shoes on.

"Of course," Laila said, "It was a lot of fun."

"Rowan, can you say thank you?" Maya said, looking at the toddler.

"Gwazie, Auntie Yaiya," Rowan said, "Bye. Bye Dosie. Bye Unca Mae."

Josie came over and gave both Nora and Rowan hugs, Mason giving them fist bumps while Laila also gave them hugs.

"Thank you again," Carina said, hugging her sister-in-law, "And congratulations. Just like when you were pregnant with Josie, I am always here if you need anything."

"Thank you," Laila said, smiling.

"Congrats," Maya said, smiling at her brother.

"Thanks," Mason said, smiling back, "It's weird to think about having two kids. I never even thought I wanted one."

"You're a good dad," Maya assured him, "I promise you that."

"Thanks," he said, hearing those words from his sister meaning a lot to him because he looked up to her so much as a parent.

"Mommy, yet's go," Nora said, grabbing her hand.

"Ok," Maya said, "Bye guys."

"Ciao," Carina called as Mason, Laila, and Josie all called goodbye.

Maya and Carina got the twins in the car, Carina looking over at her wife, knowing full well the blonde hadn't been ok all night.

"Bambina…" Carina started to say, only to have Maya hold up her hand.

"Not right now," the blonde said, "Please."

Carina respected her wife's boundaries, knowing that with the twins in the car, Maya likely didn't want to have any conversations like this. They got home, getting the twins into the bath.

"Can you do bedtime tonight?" Maya asked after the twins were in the tub.

"Sure," Carina nodded, "Where are you going?"

"I need to run," Maya said, seeing Carina about to protest, cutting her off, "I will just go in the basement on the treadmill, but I need to run."

"Alright," Carina said, "Is there anything I can do?"

Maya shook her head, taking a deep breath, clearly trying to push down her emotions.

"Goodnight Rowan, Goodnight Nora," Maya said, walking over to the tub.

"Where are you doing?" Rowan asked.

"I am going to go for a run," Maya said, "I was too tired this morning, but I am going to now. Mamma is going to put you to bed though, ok?"

"Otay," Nora nodded, giving Maya a wet hug and kiss as Rowan did the same.

Maya hugged them close, trying hard not to start sobbing as she did so. The girls squirmed out of her arms after a second, going back to their toys as Maya turned to leave the bathroom.

Carina sighed, having been anticipating a challenging night tonight with starting another round of injections and how crampy and uncomfortable Maya had been all day anyway, but the news that Mason and Laila were expecting just added to it.

She tried not to think about it too much as she played with the twins in the tub before getting them out and into pajamas, sighing as Rowan threw a massive tantrum about not being able to get her shirt to do what she wanted to. She ended up leaving her to calm down on her own for a few minutes while she finished getting Nora ready, Rowan bringing her shirt into the bathroom and asking for help just as Carina finished with Nora's teeth and hair.

"It is not a bad thing to ask for help," Carina said, crouching down and wiping a tear off Rowan's cheek, thinking about how much Rowan was like Maya sometimes, "Sometimes, it's important to ask for help, ok? I know you were frustrated, and that's ok too, but throwing a fit isn't usually very helpful, right?"

"Si," Rowan nodded, Carina pulling the shirt over her head before allowing Rowan to do the arms herself.

"Better?" Carina asked.

"Si," Rowan nodded, "Now teef?"

"Now teeth," Carina nodded, sitting the little girl on the counter.

Carina brushed her teeth before going to finish up with their bedtime routine.

Once she got the twins down, Carina looked at her watch, seeing it had been about forty minutes since Maya went down to the basement. She decided to just let her be, going into the kitchen and making herself a cup of tea before curling up on the couch.

She would be lying if she said it wasn't hard to hear that Mason and Laila were pregnant again, especially because they hadn't even been trying. She was so happy for them, but she was also sad for herself and Maya, that getting pregnant was never going to be easy or spontaneous or a mystery and instead was very much more medical and sterile.

Most of the time, it didn't bother either of them, but today, especially when they were in the middle of their own journey to having a baby, it hit a raw nerve. Carina sat on the couch for a while sipping on her tea and trying to get through one of her medical journal articles, but she just couldn't concentrate, worried about her wife.

After Maya had been in the basement for a little over an hour, Carina couldn't take it anymore, putting down her article and venturing into their basement. She heard the sound of her wife's feet slapping the treadmill fast and hard. She walked over to it, standing in Maya's view, the blonde taking a second to notice her wife, slowing the treadmill before stopping it.

"Hi," Carina said as Maya pulled her headphone out.

The blonde looked at her for a second before her face crumpled, body collapsing into her wife as tears started streaming down her face accompanied by sobs.

"Ok," Carina said, ignoring the sweat that was pouring down Maya's body, "It's ok. I've got you. I'm right here."

Carina carefully sat them down on the treadmill, holding her wife close as they sat there. Carina felt her own tears filling her eyes, allowing them to fall as she continued to comfort Maya. It took a while, but eventually, the tears slowed, Maya getting quiet as she continued to just cling to Carina.

"Do you want to talk about it Bambina?" Carina asked, rubbing her back.

"I just…I…I am so happy for Mason and Laila," Maya said, clearly needing to get that out first, "I'm happy for them and that they are going to have another baby, but…I just…I'm mad we can't have the same thing. That it can't just happen like that. And I'm frustrated that we have to go through this and that I am so anxious about it and I'm scared it's not going to work or that something will go wrong. And…I don't know…it's just a lot and I am already hormonal today which helped nothing."

"I understand," Carina said, "I feel the same way. I remember feeling like this a lot when we were trying to have the twins and I would see mamas coming in who had been trying for a month or who hadn't even been trying, and we were trying so hard and it just wasn't happening. I remember when Amelia told me she was pregnant with Harper and we had just had the miscarriage and I was so happy for her but also it hurt so much knowing it wasn't our turn yet. It sucks."

"It really does," Maya chuckled dryly, "It sucks so much. I almost forgot about that with Amelia, but I remember you didn't get out of bed the entire day after she told you."

"I almost forgot about it too," Carina said, "Because it did happen for us, and we had the girls and it was great and all those feelings went away and it will happen for us this time too, I know it will. But right now, it is ok to feel sad and upset and frustrated and angry."

Maya cuddled back into Carina for a second before she felt the Italian shift a little. "Is your butt sore?" Maya asked, not moving from her place curled into her wife's chest.

"A little bit," Carina said.

"Let's go upstairs," Maya said, "I need a shower."

"Yes you do," Carina said, helping her wife stand up, "You stink."

"Hey," Maya said, "Rude."

"Do you want me to join you again?" Carina asked.

"Not this time," Maya said, shaking her head, "I just want to get in and get out. My legs already feel a little bit like jelly and I think if you did anything, I would have to be dragged to bed."

"Ok," Carina nodded as they headed up the stairs, "Go shower."

Maya went up to their bathroom, stripping off her sweaty clothes before getting into an almost scalding shower, just letting the hot water relax some of her muscles. She stayed in a little bit longer than she normally would before getting out, putting on lotion before going into their room to find Carina sitting there with some electric candles on, a mug of hot chocolate on her nightstand, and a diffuser going with what smelled like vanilla and rose, one of Maya's favorite scents that also happened to be what Carina's shampoo smelled like.

"What is this?" Maya asked, confused as she pulled out some pajamas.

"I am going to help you relax a little bit," Carina said, walking over to her, "I thought I could give you a massage and then we could just cuddle in bed, maybe listen to some music or a podcast or something, and just be together. Or we can do something else if you want."

"No, that sounds good," Maya said, "I'm not feeling up to anything else tonight. Sorry."

"No sorry. That's ok. Thank you for telling me," Carina said, going and grabbing the syringe and an alcohol swab, "Are you ready for your first injection?"

"Yeah," Maya nodded, "Let's do it."

Carina kissed the spot before grabbing the alcohol swab, wiping Maya's abdomen before inserting the needle, pushing in the medication, pulling out the needle and popping up the safety, using a small piece of gauze to wipe the blood off Maya's stomach before kissing the area again.

"One down, many more to go," Maya said as Carina threw the needle in the sharps container they kept in their bathroom.

"Now, are you ready for your massage?" Carina asked, guiding Maya over to the bed.

The blonde laid down, sighing as Carina started massaging her legs, working out some of the achiness the intense run she had done.

"Thank you Carina," Maya said.

"I love you Bambina," Carina said, "I am so proud of everything you do for our family."

Maya was just quiet, Carina finishing with her calves before moving on to Maya's lower back, knowing it was often extremely sore the first few days of her period.

When she was done, she moved, looking at her wife who was zoned out.

"You ok Bambina?" Carina asked, tracing patterns on her back.

"Yeah," Maya said, "Sorry. Just a little bit exhausted."

"You can go to sleep," Carina said, "Today was a long day."

"No," Maya said, "No, let's listen to something."

"Ok," Carina said, grabbing her phone and putting on some music before the two of them curled up together, just being in each other's presence which is exactly what they needed in that moment.

What did you think? I am learning with this story that if I set out to write a certain thing when I sit down to write, I will inevitably not get there in the way I anticipated so I'm just gonna keep writing and hoping for the best. I have already started writing the next chapter and think I know what I am going to do for it, but who knows at this point. I do know where this story is going, I just am not sure how we are getting there. Oh well, thanks for joining me for the ride. I have the next week off because my semester is over (so hopefully I will have some time to write) and I am officially done with my BSN which is weird and exciting but doesn't mean much at the moment because my program is a BSN/MSN program so we don't get an official degree or anything until we are totally done. Anyway, thank you so much for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos!

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