Chapter 17

JAXSON

I'm confused more then ever right now. I thought I knew what I wanted, I wanted to be with Becca. I was going to silently reject Alessia since she didn't know she was my mate and continue to be with Becca but the more time I spent with Alessia, the harder this has become.

I know Becca can act like a bitch sometimes and not a lot of people like her but she's not like that with me. She's  had a hard life. When she was younger her dad would get drunk and beat her and her mom. She wasn't allowed to hang out with friends growing up. When my dad found out, he banished her dad but Becca was already 14. The damage had already been done. She has a hard time connecting with people and they take her the wrong way.

When my life went to hell, she was there for me. My sisters were dealing with their own issues and I had to take care of them but Becca looked out for me. I don't think I would be who I am today without her. I was broken and wanted to walk away from it all but she held me together, never let me give up.

Now she is pregnant. I thought I would be happy to be a father. When we talked about having a baby, I was excited. All these months of trying and nothing happened, it was frustrating and upsetting.

Most werewolves find their mate at 18. Waiting this long, I gave up. I opened the idea of being with Becca permanently, making her my Luna and my wife. She loves me and is good to me.

The biggest thing that held me back from doing that is my sisters. They hate her. I can't say I blame them because Becca hasn't really tried to get close to them, in fact it's like she has done the opposite.

Over the years, I've tried to get them to give each other a chance and it always backfires. It ends up worst.  Then I think about Jessica's threats about leaving for good if I stay with Becca. Would she really walk away? I know Emily will stay because of Jake being my beta but I'm not sure about Jess.

Then of course there is Alessia. I never intended to have sex with her. I thought I could fight off the bond but the pull is getting stronger every time we are around each other. The look on her face when Becca walked in. I saw the pain before she got up and walked away.  I'm starting to realize that she feels the bond too. When Becca announced she was pregnant, I felt pain in my chest but it wasn't mine, it was hers.

This is the last thing I wanted to do, I dont want to hurt her. Even if I was to change my mind and choose Alessia, would she even be with me after all this. Becca is having my child.

My child, I want my child to grow up with me in it's life. It should have both his parents. I feel like the decision has been made for me.

After the announcement, Becca and I went outside to talk. She is so excited and couldn't wait to tell me her plans on wanting to decorate the nursery and start buying baby stuff.

We were walking back and I saw Alessia getting into her car, fear set in. Is she leaving? When I asked her, she said she was going out. She was pissed. The pain completely gone and the anger set in. I don't let anyone disrespect me the way she has. Then she drove away.

"Your just going to let her speak to you in that tone? I don't care if she is a human or not, she is living with us and she should respect our rules. And why do you need to speak to her anyways?" Becca said  hitting me with one thing after another. "Like you said, she is living here so I need her to know where we stand." I relied and walked away.

I'm suppose to speak to Jessica and Emily but I've been in my office all evening. I don't want to speak to them right now. I want Alessia to come home, I want to talk to her.

It's getting late and she still isn't back. I've been standing  by the window waiting for her to come back. Everyone else is in bed, where is she?

Another hour passed by when I see headlights coming up the driveway. I walked out of my office towards the front door. She walked in holding Alena. "Where have you been?" I asked. My tone was harsh. She walked past me, not even looking at me. "Out." She said and walked up the stairs. I watched her go all the way up. I wiped my face with both my hands, turned around and punched the wall.

I ran up the steps two at a time. She was coming out of Alena's room going towards hers. She opened the door, walked in and went to close it behind her but I pushed the door open before she could. I walked in and closed it behind me.

"What the hell are you doing? Get out!" She yelled.  Before I could say anything to her, I smelt him on her. Balling my fists up at my sides and tightening my jaw, I am pissed. I walked up slowly towards her, she stepped back. "Why the fuck do you smell like Micah?" I growled out. My wolf is going crazy right now. He is threatening to come out and not in a good way. She paused and then glared at me. "You don't get to fucking say shit about who I spend my time with, go back to your pregnant girlfriend." She said.

My wolf took control. He slammed her into the wall, pushing our body into her's. She is pinned between us and the wall barely able to move. He sniffed her neck trying to calm down so he doesn't hurt her. "Mine!" He growled and slammed our lips to hers. This kiss was different then any other time. This is fueled by anger, possession, jealousy and claiming. At first she kissed back but then she started fighting back. She was pushing us away. She was hitting us. She starting crying. "NO, NO YOU DON'T GET TO DO THIS! YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ME AGAIN! YOU WILL NEVER USE ME AGAIN! I DON'T WANT YOU! GO BE WITH THAT BITCH! GET OFF ME!" She yelled while still crying. My wolf retreated feeling the rejection. He was howling in my head. The pain he felt for what she said but anger with me for doing this to her.

I pulled back, tears filling my eyes but they haven't dropped. "Alessia please, talk to me. I never used you, please don't think that. I care about you. I don't know what to do." I begged. Something I've never done before but I can't handle her hating me.

She is still crying, she turned her back to me walking to the other side of the room. "Why are you here?" She whispered through her sobs. I said nothing. She turned around, wiping the tears from her face. "What is it, huh? Do you want me to tell you everything is going to be ok? Do you want me to say that I will continue to give myself to you? Do you want to keep me as your dirty little secret, your little whore? Hell no! Being with you was a mistake. I don't want to talk to you. I mean it Jaxson, I will never be with you again. Please get out." She said.

I'm standing there, just watching her. She won't look at me. "I'm sorry." I whispered trying not to cry. I'm barely holding it together. This is my fault. I did this to her.

I turned around and walked out of the room. I slowly closed the door and when I turned around Jessica was standing there.