Chapter 3: Nightmares

“There is no standard normal. Normal is subjective. There are seven billion versions of normal on this planet.”

- Matt Haig

Arsala POV

I'm laying down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. So many random thoughts are popping into my head and Imran is the center of it all. Last night he called me, didn't say a word and ended the call.

I want to be mad at him for pulling such a stunt but I can't. His silence yesterday said so much, like he was going through some emotional wreck. Maybe I'm just delusional, he probably call to ask a question but changed his mind last minute.

"Wake up sleepy head!!" I heard Haider yell out.

Yes I sleep a lot, I take my sleep very seriously. If I don't sleep properly for some days, I become emotionally and physically stressed out. Recently I haven't been able to sleep properly and last night was no different.

I pulled my legs out of the duvet and rest my head on the headboard. One, two, three, here he comes......

"Get up." Haider barges into my room.

On a Saturday morning its practically normal for Haider to barge into my room to drag me out of bed. Saturday is that one day of the week we spend together.

Most times he would treat me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant or we would go out to Bayaro suya joint. They sell the best suya in the whole Adamawa state, the taste and flavor of the suya they sell is so divine.

"Go away." I cover my face with a pillow. I'm not in the mood to do anything.

"Its a Saturday morning, you know the rules." He drags the pillow away from my face.

"I'm not in the mood." I quickly turn my face away from him.

Haider opens up the cottons and rays of the morning rising sun hits my face. I look at the sun, its as bright as ever. The sun is a typical example of the saying. "A new day comes a new beginning."

Sadly, not for me. I find it really hard to move on especially when I have been hurt.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" He ask looking worried.

He has probably notice the dark circles around my eyes. Due to lack of sleep.

"It nothing, I had trouble sleeping last night." I move strands of my

hair away from my face and tuck them behind my ear.

"Your nightmares ............they are back right?"

I looked at him and force a smile, being my elder brother he understood me better than anyone.

"Since when and why didn't you tell me?" He sits next to me on the bed.

"Last week." I'm trying so hard to hold back my tears.

"I thought it would stop after sometime but it keeps getting worse, just like before." I can't think of a word to describe how miserable I feel.

I was with my parent when the accident occurred. My mom, dad and I were heading for a birthday party. I can't remember who's birthday party, it was 10 years ago. I could remember my dad whispering some words into my mom's ear and she was laughing her heart out.

It was a blissful moment. Only a few people are fortunate enough to experience a jannah made love like what my parents shared.

FLASHBACK

Surprisingly for a woman, mom is a reckless driver, so dad is the one driving. Mom is on the passenger seat and I'm at the backseat.

"Stop teasing me!" Mom says laughing at something dad whispered into her ears.

"Old memories." He joined her laughing while shaking his head.

"If anyone told me we would end up together I wouldn't have believe.." They were both dreamingly staring at each.

"Same here. You know......"

"Habibi look!!" Mom let out a high pitch scream.

The next thing which came into view is a truck driving fast towards us but dad quickly move out of the way.

"Stop the car!" Mom's said in an authoritative tone yet filling with fear.

"The car breaks are not working!."

The second those words escape dad lips. His voice echo again and again in my ear.

The car is at high speed and I could see that in a few seconds my dad would lose total control of the car.

Fear gripped every vein in my body, I'm afraid of dying, I'm afraid of losing my parent.

"Mom....." Thats the only word I could muster.

My mom turned on her seat to face me. "Arsala." Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"My little girl!" More tears roll down her cheeks.

I'm so scared, I turned numb. I couldn't move.

"Mom..........."

Next, I heard a loud scream from my mom. I felt sharp pain all over my entire body with splash of blood on my face, my parents blood.

Everything happened so quick, from a blissful moment to a terrible tragedy. Slowly everything around me turn dark and I black out.

END OF FLASHBACK

I was 8 years old when I lost parents and Haider was at school. He schooled at a boarding school, citadel international college at Ondo state and only came home during the holidays. My parents and I lived in Kaduna state but after the death of both my parent, Kaduna became hell on earth.

All my mom and dad relatives refused to take up the responsibility of raising I and Haider. Except of one, uncle Amir my dad's younger brother decided we would be under his care. I had no idea how he did it but all the assets my dad left behind were under his name.

I thought uncle Amir care about I and Haider but that was just pretense. All he wanted was everything my dad owned and moment it was his. He showed his true colors under the mask. We live at his place for 8 months and through out those 8 months I was always on the edge of death.

He would refuse to feed I and Haider, we wouldn't have anything to eat for a day or two. He treated us like trash, refused to take responsibility for Haider education. He hated me for some reason, he would hit me so hard for no reason on the face.

Haider tried to protect me from him. So he locks me up in the bathroom whenever he came around. Some times when he comes home angry, he takes out his anger on Haider. We couldn't go out to look for help because we were always locked indoors everyday.

On a faithful day uncle Amir was trying to do something really despicable with me. Haider came to my rescue. I was hugging Haider tightly like my life depended on it because it actually did. I pull apart from the hug and my hands were cover with blood, Haider's blood.

Uncle Amir flogged Haider earlier because he accidentally burnt his black shirt. Haider's back had some cuts and was still bleeding. His wounds need some proper dressing to stop the bleeding.

"Does it hurt." I ask, staring up at his face but it seem like his attention was on something else. I followed his gaze and he was staring at uncle Amir.

"Is he dead?" I ask looking at uncle Amir unconscious body.

"I don't know and I don't care." There wasn't even the tiniest bit if remorse in his voice.

"Ya Haider.........I think he is actually dead." I said looking at the pool of blood on the white sheets.

"Let's get out of here." He threw what was left of the wine bottle he had smashed on uncle Amir's head on the floor.

We packed our bags and left that hell hole we have be living in for 8 months. We also left Kaduna that day and haven't stepped foot there ever since.

After the accident I always had nightmares since I was 8 years. Every night I woke up crying and screaming so loud. My nightmares where always about the accident and how it happened. I relived that heart wrecking moment every night till I turned thirteen. I was severely depressed and traumatized.

At that time Haider and I was leaving with uncle Bashir, my mom's young brother. He is the one person I know genuinely cares about I and Haider. So to help me out he book appointments for me with so many psychiatrist and therapist. But none of the psychiatrist could get through to me. Its impossible to save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

After sometime the nightmare stopped and for 5 years I could sleep peaceful without having any nightmares. Until recently the damn nightmares were back, tormenting my very existence.

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