C39 Ding-Dong Ditch

"I guess they thought one wasn't enough."

---

"I will destroy it," Thor says, twirling his hammer after seeing another missile.

"Whoa there, Sparkles. That's not a good idea," Tony flies in front of him, "Do that, and we're all toast."

Then he talks to Fury, "Hey! Why is there another missile coming for us? All the space freaks are out for the count."

His voice is projected from Tony's suit, "The Council sent another missile after your new friend caught the first one."

Natasha calls out, "That's great and all, but can't they just disable it? All nukes have—"

"This one was already primed and sent on a one-way trip; they completely closed off to prevent outside interference."

"So, not even they can change its course?" Steve asks.

"Not in the time that remains—I hope you have some ideas because there's nothing we can do on this end."

Tony looks around at everyone before thinking of the new guy.

Turning behind him, he asks, "Hey, you got any bright ideas—" Then he looks towards the missile, "I guess he does."

He starts walking inside, with the others trailing behind.

"Do we not need to help the new metal man?" Thor points his thumb behind him.

"Nah, he's got this. Let's handle this guy instead," he motions towards Loki, whose still moaning on the ground.

---

As they were chatting, I started flying off, but not before sending a voice transmission to Loki.

"It's a shame—you know?"

"W-what is?"

"That Earth owes you a great debt, yet they will think of you as a villain."

"Hah—perhaps... I took your advice—turns out I don't really want it."

I smile as I reach the missile.

"I find that I like—mischief—more. Maybe, being seen as a villain will make it easier to make more of it."

Starting my work, I answer back, "Undoubtedly."

"Hmm, it seems I'm not alone anymore. I'll be sure to visit the next chance I get."

"You're welcome to drop by; I've still got plenty of beer as well."

I don't hear anything back, so I focus on the missile.

There is one thing I've never done—ever.

'Surfing... I'd like to try it.'

I don't do much to the missile except for making a platform for my feet that also controls its course.

'Where should I go?'

I decide to show off first and then—play a children's game.

I turn the missile so it will pass the Stark Tower.

They were about to go down the elevator with Loki when I passed them while giving the peace sign, not that they could see more than a blur.

Loki did, though, since I heard his voice transmission, "Maybe you should be the God of Mischief instead of me."

"Haha, I only do this on my vacations."

After passing them, I turn the missile away from the city while calling someone.

They answer, "You're having fun, it seems."

"Absolutely! You should try it sometime."

Someone else answers, "I've been telling him the same thing, but he never does. He always goes off to his lab after saying, 'Doom, is above such human trivialities.'"

Before Cynthia can add more, Doom asks, "I presume you called for more than discussing what I do for recreation."

I get back on point as well, "Yeah, I was wondering if you knew the current location of one 'Gideon Malick,' and any hydra bases between me and him."

"Hmm—yes, I do."

It takes him a moment, "There are six Hydra facilities between you and him, not counting SHIELD Head Quarters," his voice held derision when mentioning SHIELD.

"Perfect, would you be a pal and send them to me?"

"Mm, fine."

Cynthia gasps, "Oh my! You didn't chastise him for being familiar with you." She sounded excited.

"It is pointless to try, as it only further encourages him," Doom is quick to correct her, but she isn't listening.

Sniffling, she says, "My baby's finally got a friend after so many y—" the call's cut off.

"... Hahaha!" I sniff, "Aah, haha."

'Alright, let's get back to work.'

"Pfft. Hahaha!"

Looking at all the locations, I change course to the closest.

I'm not going to do anything to them; I'm only going to fly over them.

I'm sending them a message. A message that says, 'I know you, but you don't know me.'

I'm doing this purely because I want to see what will happen, not because they are any threat.

The Avengers may not be able to do much against them right now, but if I wanted, I could have every Hydra member's head by week's end.

As I finished going over the sixth and headed to Malick's location, I messaged Tony, "Ever played ding-dong ditch? Well, Tony, this ain't it."

Then I told him he might find it on the news if they aren't covering the invasion.

---

"Not long after the events in New York yesterday. Gothite International's Washington DC branch office was hit by, what the officials say, is a missile that was misfired during the event."

I'm on the couch as usual when I'm home, with the news on.

"Luckily, it didn't detonate, but we haven't been able to find out what kind of missile it is—"

I mute it and stand up, "You won't ever find out, either."

"Is that what you did?" Sera asks, with stares in her eyes.

I nod, "Yeah, I wanted to try surfing, and there's nothing better than a missile to do it on."

Lana seemed more worried, though, "You won't get caught, will you?"

"The only people who know it was me in that suit, are you two, Loki, and Doom," I say shaking my head, then I pick her up and look into her eyes, "Why? Is my little sister worried about me?"

"No. I ju—"

I drop her on her ass, "All the hard work..."

"Ow!" she stands up, rubbing her backside, "I didn't want you to have to start over somewhere else if your identity was revealed," she pouts like a wronged puppy.

I pat her head, "You're forgiven."

She starts to smile, but it stops as her eyes widen, "Hey! But you're the one who dropped me! Aren't you the one who's supposed to be sorry!?"

I look at her weirdly, "What kind of logic is that? Obviously, you were in the wrong for making me misunderstand you," I nod.

"But—"

"Hey, that mustache guy is on the news!" Sera calls out.

I walk behind the couch, where she sits.

Resting my head on her shoulder while looking at the TV, I ask, "Why so excited, got a crush on him or something?"

'I may have to kill him after all.'

She gives me the stink eye, "No. It's just that he's talking about you—" her eyes become not so stinky and dodge away as she unmutes the TV, "Brother."

I pretend not to notice her behavior, 'Way too soon for any of that...'

"No, I don't know who he is, and I wouldn't tell you even if I did," Tony is speaking in some sort of hearing.

"He's wanted on several different charges and—"

"The guy's a hero. Without him, or any of us who fought, a lot more people would have died—or perhaps even worse."

"Mr. Stark, we understand—"

"No. I don't think you do," he stands up, buttoning his suit, "people like you need to get your heads out of your asses, or we aren't going to last much longer."

He starts to leave the court.

The questioner blinks, "M-Mr. Stark, where are you—"

Tony raises his hands to the sky, "We have motherfucking aliens falling from the sky! I'm going to make sure that if they come again, we won't all die."

He continues talking, "You're welcome to try and stop me," but pieces of his armor start flying in through some open windows.

Suited up, he looks back, "But you do that, and I might just think you're one of those alien bastards," then he walks through the doors, his heavy steps reverberating through their heads.

I smile, 'Now that was badass.'

I stand back up and walk to the kitchen.

"So—what are we going to do next?" Sera asks as they follow me.

"You two? You're going back to school when it reopens," they pout and slow down a bit, "But—" they speed up again.

"After you're done with high school, and I get what I want, I plan on going to a different world for a bit. Like I talked about before."

"Oh, yeah!" Lana's eyes brighten when she remembered but then dim shortly after, "But that will take so long."

"Well—" I think A bit, "If you want it to happen faster, then you two need to graduate sooner."

Getting excited, they start making plans, but I add something, "Without breaking any rules. You still need to do it as a normal student would."

They settle down a bit but are still excited.

"Do that, and I'll just take what I want; if I don't have it already."

They look at each other for a while, then look at me, "Deal!" afterward, they run off.

"We want pancakes!" but not before telling me what they want to eat.

I roll my eyes, 'Looks like I'll only have a year. If I'm lucky.'

My eyes start to narrow, 'How to speed up the process?'

---

//Note//

I'm only reading the comments from the previous chapter, within the app, from now on.

The author dashboard sucks for reading through them, and they're getting to be too much.

Unfortunately, that means I won't see any deleted or removed comments.

So, if you want me to see them, make sure they're on the newest chapter and that you're fucking with the censorship as much as possible, or else they'll be automatically removed.

--

Second nuke?

Yeah, I actually looked up how they work to make sure it didn't come off like bullshit.

I'm not sure if I succeeded.

Basically, the safety mechanism that keeps the—dangerous stuff—separate was disengaged, keeping it in a 'primed' state, ready to blow at any moment.

Yeah... the second nuke is in there because I wanted it in there.

--

Why the secrecy?

Because it's fun as fucking fuck to mess with people, as well as being fun in and of itself to go around like some badass RoboCop vigilante who no one can figure out.

Like seriously?

Does no one remember what it was like to play make-believe on the school playground? Have you never played cops and robbers as a kid?

Well, this is the adult version of it.

Everyone is dressed up like buff cartoon characters, running around shooting the bad guys.

--

The ROB note from the last chapter wasn't me saying that I would nerf him.

I was saying that I would add more restrictions to the wishes if I REWROTE the novel.

I don't like nerfs either.

And I don't plan on rewriting the novel since I just want to get on with it.

--

Where is he going?

Since nobody is in the right ballpark, I'll tell what genre it's in so no one is too blindsided.

Video Games.

What he's going to do there—heh, heh, heh. Definitely isn't 'lore friendly.'

--

I just want to give some advice to anyone who comments.

Before you ask why the MC does something. Ask yourself: 'Why not?' first.

If you come up blank, then that's why.

Because there was no reason not to, and he thought it would be fun.

... If you do come up with a reason, then—

Keep your dirty, ketchup stained, shit-filled mouth -cough- I mean, that's when you should leave a nice comment, free from any harmful or upsetting words.

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