Drunken Shenanigans

By the time Wei Xiang returned to Yan Lin's house again, night had already fallen.

The moment he neared the cottage, the strong scent of alcohol mixed with an undercurrent of a more delicate fragrance assaulted Wei Xiang's nose. Recognizing it as the scent of good quality homebrewed wine, he strode in to where they had all gathered to eat dinner.

The group was still crowded around the little table, but each one was now in a different state of intoxication. A pile of empty jars laid scattered atop the table and around the room, a testament to their drunken revelry.

The potent wine seemed to have affected each person differently.

Yan Lin was staring off into space with a confounded expression while his wife was clinging onto his shoulders and giggling as she whispered into his ear.

In a corner, Jing Shui had fallen asleep and had been moved to Wu Xiao's lap, while Wu Xiao looked at the chaotic and messy room with a sharp gaze and an amused smile. His eyes seemed distant, as if he were simply a passerby looking at an interesting show.

Qinghe was smiling happily as he poked at a cup of wine, as if gauging just how much strength it would take for the push to make it fall over.

In another corner, Chen Xiande looked as calm and composed as ever, the only person who was utterly unaffected by the copious quantities of wine he'd consumed. Hei NingYu, on the other hand, seemed to have forgotten the existence of the rest of the world, all his attention focused on his beloved as he called out seductively, "Little Sheep~"

Even as Chen Xiande tried to flusteredly ignore his beloved's bewitching voice, Hei NingYu brazenly lifted a surprised Chen Xiande up and placed him on his lap. Chen Xiande stiffened as he felt something hard poking his butt. So Hei NingYu was the type who got aroused while drunk?

Uncaring about the time or place, Hei NingYu dazedly started running his palms over the slender clothed body in his embrace. With a dark expression, Chen Xiande tried to push away the grabby hands as he admonished gruffly, "You… Being so old, how come you can't handle even this much liquor?"

Chen Xiande did not want to get up to anything while his lover was drunk. He did not want to feel like he was taking advantage of Hei NingYu while he was in this state.

Hei NingYu was completely unbothered by the chiding tone as he said in a clear voice that belied his drunkenness, "Not everyone can be as amazing as my dear little sheep."

Caught off-guard at the open praise, Chen Xiande blushed as he muttered, "Stop trying to flatter me."

With a tone saturated with earnestness and sincerity, Hei NingYu spoke as he hugged his beloved closer, "It's not flattery. My lover really is amazing. Can't you feel how you make my heart throb?"

So saying, Hei NingYu took ahold of Chen Xiande's hand and led it…down towards his hardened member.

Trying to retrieve his hand, Chen Xiande lost his composure as he berated, "Oi! Did you forget where your heart is?!"

In a petulant and playful tone, Hei NingYu spoke cheekily, "But you make that part throb too."

Chen Xiande could only sputter while blushing even more furiously.

Shaking his head at the ridiculousness of this scene, Wei Xiang retrieved his gaze and strode over to his own lover.

Qinghe was still playfully poking the cup. The cup tilted and teetered on the edge, on the verge of falling and spilling the wine within.

Wei Xiang caught it in time and set it back properly. Amused, he asked Qinghe, "What are you doing?"

Qinghe lightly giggled, the sound bubbling with drunken joy. "I think it's funny. If it falls down, its insides become its outsides!"

Chuckling at the strange logic behind that, Wei Xiang observed, "You sure do seem to like wine, my love."

Sagely nodding, Qinghe explained, "Yes, because I can choose to not be in control as long as I'm under its influence."

His words still retained a trace of clarity despite his obvious inebriation.

Wei Xiang raised an eyebrow as he seated himself beside his beloved. "Are you okay with that? With giving up control?"

His eyes unfocused and his mind wandering due to the alcohol coursing through his system, Qinghe replied distractedly, "Mhm, as long as you're here, I don't need to maintain control."

Wei Xiang felt his heart squeeze at the implicit trust. Looking intently at Qinghe, he continued asking, "What about them?" He gestured to the others in the room.

Qinghe tilted his head and considered for a while before giving a small, lethargic nod, "They're also alright"

At the side, Chen Xiande had finally broken out of Hei NingYu's grasp. Having been paying attention to the conversation, he asked Qinghe, hints of surprise and disbelief coloring his voice, "So you're saying you only let the wine take away your control if you are among people you trust? You really trust me…trust us that much?"

Not caring about the intent gaze of his senior brother boring into him, Qinghe sleepily nodded. Ah, Wei Xiang looked so warm and comfortable to sleep on, maybe he should just lean over and―

Wei Xiang's voice cut into his drowsy thoughts as he said, "Be that as it may, I still think you should cut down on the consumption a bit―"

Qinghe covered Wei Xiang's mouth as he glared at his overly talkative lover. "Shh! Sleepy!"

Then, uncaring of his beloved's thoughts, Qinghe dropped his head onto Wei Xiang's shoulder and settled himself contentedly in his arms, getting ready to sleep. It was a good thing Wei Xiang was still wearing plain clothes since his uniform would not have been nearly as cozy to lie on.

Smiling indulgently, Wei Xiang readjusted himself to let Qinghe sleep in the most comfortable position possible.

But Qinghe's wish for some peaceful sleep was suddenly interrupted as he sensed something in the distance.

Perking his head up, Qinghe drowsily stated, "There are people heading in this direction."

Hei NingYu, who was lying docilely after giving in to Chen Xiande's refusals, suddenly opened his eyes and asked lazily, "Oh? How did you know? They're still quite a bit away." He had also sensed the approaching group.

Chen Xiande commented unconcernedly, "Junior Brother always seems to know things no one should be able to find out. It seems almost normal at this point."

On the other side, Wu Xiao stirred from his reverie and muttered bitterly to himself, "Yes, I wonder how you find all our secrets." He was still sour about the existence of Silver Mist being found out by Qinghe, who'd then used it to threaten him!

Having so many people wondering about it, the drunken Qinghe saw no reason to keep his methods a secret. Absentmindedly, he spoke, "Hm? Isn't that because of the wind?"

Also having gotten curious, Wei Xiang asked, "The wind? What about it?"

Qinghe carefully gathered his scattered thoughts into a coherent whole as he tried to explain, his voice distant and hazy, "The wind tells me whatever I want to know. As it flows and wanders through the world, it picks up the secrets people speak into it. And whenever I need it to, it sends me those whispers. It can also scout locations, find people, read lips…and lots of other stuff."

If Qinghe closed his eyes, he could almost hear the wind softly sighing and murmuring to him, a comfortable lullaby. He could feel it pulling at his mind as it tried to get him to follow its lead as it rushed and flowed over mountains and plains, playfully sifting invisible fingers through sand and water, brushing lightly over the grasses and leaves.

Observing him inquisitively, Hei NingYu commented in a quiet voice, "It seems that your ability over wind is very…immersive."

As his mind slowly drifted back into sleep, Qinghe groggily nodded before giving in to his drowsiness.

But before everyone had the time to digest this revelation, they were interrupted as the loud sounds of people rushing up the path to the cottage were heard. Rude knocking sounded on the door for barely a few moments before the visitors impatiently broke it open and barged in.

The people inside in various states of inebriation were all startled into soberness at the sudden, loud commotion, except for the Jing Shui who was still blissfully asleep.

"Yan Lin, you better have thought things through properly by now. I will not take no for an answer this time. I've already indulged you enough!" yelled the portly old man in the front who seemed to be leading the others.

The aforementioned Official Gao who was after Yan Lin had arrived with his entourage.

Behind the old man were a rough-looking handful of thugs, some with pickaxes and others with clubs. One man held a length of rough hemp rope, stretching it between his hands as he looked suggestively at Yan Lin. For whom the rope was intended was obvious by his informative glance.

Yan Lin's face paled, his lips pressing against each other as they trembled. Remembering his past where he had been forced to lie beneath older men just like Official Gao, his fears surged up, choking his throat. He was unable to let out even a sound of distress, just like back at the orphanage.

Already aware of Yan Lin's past, Zhang LiYing couldn't bear to watch her husband regressing into his previous self under the onslaught of his nightmares, and so she stood up in a rage, blocking her husband's figure from the filthy gazes of that disgusting official and his equally as unsavory group of thugs.

Furious that this detestable person was causing her beloved such anguish, Zhang LiYing shouted back with cutting fury, "You stupid old fool, I'll not let you have my man! Going around kidnapping others' spouses just because no one wants you, aren't you ashamed to show your face outside?!"

The old man reddened in anger. "You ugly woman, you just wait until I take away your husband, your house, and your land! I'll take it all away and make you come crawling to me and beg me to forgive you for what you just said!"

"We'll just see about that! Don't think you can walk all over us folks again! Your retribution is on its way, you senile bastard!"

Just as the old man opened his mouth to fling more insults in return, he halted in shock.

He had just spotted Qinghe's face and was immediately enraptured by his beauty.

Though the other cultivators in the room were all striking in their own right, they also looked rather imposing and forbidding, be it the Sentinel Wei Xiang or the sect masters Wu Xiao and Hei NingYu. Jing Shui's face was still buried in Wu Xiao's lap and not visible while Hei NingYu had long since hidden Chen Xiande behind him, not wishing his cute little sheep to be targeted by scum.

Qinghe, on the other hand, clearly looked to be the easiest one to approach, the softest persimmon to pinch. His expression was soft and dazed from both the wine and sleepiness. He was lying limply in Wei Xiang's embrace, looking obedient and dependant, not at all like the calculative and powerful cultivator that he was.

Immediately forgetting his desire for Yan Lin, Official Gao's wrinkled and pudgy old face stretched into a leer as he tried to see past Wei Xiang's arms and assess Qinghe's figure.

From where had such an exquisite beauty suddenly popped out from?! He definitely wanted a taste!

Wei Xiang realized he had been remiss in his duty. But the thought that Qinghe would need protection had never occurred to him. To him, Qinghe was no less capable than himself when it came to dealing with threats, his ability equal to Wei Xiang's.

Sure enough, rather than being alarmed that such a disgusting look was being cast over him, Qinghe simply squinted his eyes in curiosity. It looked like Yan Lin had a guest? But this guest really seemed to be a bit too impolite.

His eyes narrowing, Qinghe snorted in displeasure. It was this person's fault that his sleep had been disturbed!

Realizing that the beauty was looking in his direction, Official Gao's face split into a grin as he spoke in a coaxing tone, "Pretty little boy, why don't you come home with this old official. I'll take good care of you. I'll give you the best clothes to wear and feed you all the delicious food and wine you could ever want."

Hearing the mention of wine, Qinghe's ears pricked up in interest.

Wei Xiang shook his head in exasperated amusement. Knowing that his lover was still out of it, he explained in a patient tone as if to a child, "Qinghe, love, he is a bad man. He wants to take away your friend Yan Lin and hurt him. Why don't you teach him a lesson?"

Wei Xiang thus happily unleashed his beloved on the unsuspecting Official Gao.

"Just don't injure or kill him," Wei Xiang added as an afterthought. He was after all still a Sentinel. He couldn't overtly condone any crimes, even if it was his beloved perpetrating them or whether he personally thought they were well-deserved.

Hearing that someone wanted to hurt Yan Lin, Qinghe's concern was immediately roused. And sure enough, when he looked towards his friend, he could clearly see Yan Lin's fear and distress written plain on his face.

Qinghe's brows lowered in a thunderous frown. No one was allowed to make his friend sad again!

He got up, his body waving unsteadily yet gracefully, like the mesmerizing swaying of a cobra. His gaze focused on Official Gao as his mind processed Wei Xiang's words. He was not allowed to hurt this person, then…

He began rapidly calculating all feasible options at breakneck speed as his usual strict control over his mind relaxed under the influence of the alcohol.

With a finger unconsciously playing with a lock of his hair, Qinghe mumbled to himself, "…the room's size…dimensions and ratio…fixed points of humans and furniture…error margins...hmm, and the air humidity too…too thin…wind inertia will be too little…must reduce speed..."

The Wu Xiao who had been interestedly observing the commotion asked from the side in a puzzled voice, "What incomprehensible things are you even talking about?"

Qinghe absentmindedly replied, "Parameters."

Wu Xiao still remained dumbfounded.

Realizing what his lover meant, Wei Xiang explained more understandably, "He is calculating the dimensions and relative positions concerning this room and every object and person in it. I can only assume that it is to maximize the precision of wielding his wind."

Unable to understand just how these people could casually chat in his eminent presence, Official Gao burst out, "Enough! Little Beauty, you better not be thinking about resisting me! I have the means to take you away by force if I have to!"

Qinghe frowned. "Noisy."

On the other side, Wu Xiao shook his head while thinking that this friend of Ah-Shui's was really too scary. How was a human mind even able to calculate all this? The power of his psyche must be frightening!

"I wonder just how precise he can be…" Wu Xiao muttered to himself.

Hearing him anyway, Qinghe began to reply, "Proportionately speaking―"

"In human language, if you please," Wu Xiao interrupted wryly. He did not want to feel stupid.

After considering for a while, Qinghe pointed to Official Gao and his people, saying simply, "I can be precise enough to slice off those clothes without scratching skin."

Wu Xiao stared at him in incredulity, "Those clothes are so cheap and thin, it definitely can't be possible."

Official Gao fumed. "I will have you know that the quality of my clothes―"

Ignoring him, Qinghe huffed, displeased that someone had actually questioned his control over wind. In an uncharacteristically petulant tone, he declared, "I really can do it! You just watch, I'll show you!"

Raising his hand, he sent a torrent of precisely aimed wind blades at the group that was still standing near the doorway.

For a moment, nothing seemed to have happened.

Then, like a rain of confetti, Official Gao and his thugs' clothes turned into thinly sliced ribbons as they easily slid down from their bodies, leaving them without a stitch on. The neatly shredded fabric was strewn around their feet lying limply like a pile of noodles.

The intruding group's faces looked down at their own naked bodies with shock and disbelief, as if still unable to process the current situation.

With a shrill scream, one of the thugs holding a club hurriedly covered his important bits. Not wanting his naked butt to be seen by those outside, he hurriedly tried to step further into the house in hiding. Following his lead, the other thugs panickingly ran into the already cramped space to protect their dignity from any passersby.

Seeing them all rush forward, the drunken Qinghe thought they were coming to snatch his precious wine.

Indignant, Qinghe proclaimed loudly, "I don't share my wine with mean people!" Then raising his hand once more, he summoned a powerful gust of wind to fling away these shameless thieves.

Hmph! As if he'd let them get near his drink!

The pitiful group of Official Gao and his thugs were blown away quite some distance, landing near one of the village's busy streets.

Startled screams rang out at first when a bunch of stark naked men suddenly fell by the roadside. Then as the official's face was recognized, the people's startlement turned to amusement and glee as they covertly mocked and pointed at them. Soon, the muffled sounds of chuckling and hushed giggles filled the area surrounding the group that was so humiliatingly splayed out on the ground.

Not even daring to look at the laughing villagers, the disgraced official and his men got up swiftly, fleeing in shame.

And just as Qinghe had boasted, despite the manhandling, they did not have even a single scratch on them.