2. The day I fell for you

Valentine's Day, ironic isn't it? That was the first time I saw your face. Through my phone screen, but you were there. I didn't know how to talk to you. I was never wanted among guys or anyone actually, so how would I have learned? During the first day talking to you I totally embarrassed myself several times.. As a person whose biggest fear is failure, that felt like the end of the world, but you didn't mind. It was weird. You were so kind to me, unlike everyone else I ever met.

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From the moment I saw your face through the phone, I fell hard. You were really handsome. Dark brown eyes, dark hair, glasses, big lips and perfect jawline. I felt skeptical because I didn't understand why you kept talking to me, but I was high from the feeling I never felt before. If I only knew how weird things would get. I mean I should've known right? What was I expecting? Your brother Miles was dating my sister Veronica.They are the only reason I even started talking to you the same day they started officially dating, Valentine's Day.

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We talked for several days through snapchat. I guess it was convenient having an inside source, meaning Veronica. She always tells me everything. As sisters, we are the closest it can get. I found out you were running to your phone every time I sent you a snap. It had been only a few days, and Max you were running to your phone like the house was on fire. I didn't believe Veronica at first, but even Miles confirmed the story. So it was true, someone might actually liked me?

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My sister played me. I was at her workplace helping her get the job done. She was working in a fifteen horse stable at the moment, where we had our own horse, and a couple other ones I was riding. She asked me to come eat sushi with Miles and her later when we got things done. I said yes of course. On the way there I found out you were coming with us. I was so nervous I didn't dare to look you in the eyes from the moment you stepped in the car. You were skinny, but muscly and tall. You smelled so good.

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I couldn't eat. This was something new, something that made my heart jump a bit. Never in my fifteen years of living had I ever had a problem with eating, the opposite actually. I've always been overweight from the moment I was born and I became an overeater over time. I couldn't help it. I tried everything from a basic diet to low calorie soups and personal trainers. I went to a food therapist every week since I was eleven, and they made me keep track of everything I eat and the calories the food has. Soon after that I started to look really skinny from the face, even anorectic, as I did like to do sports like gymnastics and horse riding. Still I wasn't skinny. I was miserable, and I started to skip school and my numbers dropped from straight A's to barely passing, I started to gain weight again. I got depression.

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As you left home you hugged me goodbye. I felt so many butterflies in my stomach. The only reason I was so nervous meeting you was because I was fat. Could it be real that you really didn't mind my size. Veronica said that he really didn't mind, but I didn't believe her. She didn't understand. She had always been skinny, or at least normal weight. After that dinner, the not eating continued for weeks. I was happy. Maybe you would actually like me if I was skinnier. I helped my sister at the stables five hours a day almost every day, so I started to lose weight quickly.

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The second time I saw you was at the stables. I knew you were a little bit afraid of horses just like your brother or any non-horse person. You still wanted to impress me, but I didn't realize that at the moment. You helped with the work and took the horses outside with me. You even rode our horse Peanut even though he acted out a little bit. I was shy and I didn't talk that much, but I still enjoyed your presence. Hugging you was a regular thing now every time we saw and every time you left. Hugging to you was a normal thing, but to me.. not so much. I don't even hug my own parents. I'm afraid of physical touch, it makes me anguished, so hugging you felt like the biggest thing on earth at the moment. At least for one of us.